#and for that whole week i didn't know how to exist. just looking at him made me sick and thinking about how alone i was

[carlislefiles]

finals week | fushiguro megumi, geto suguru, gojo satoru, ino takuma, inumaki toge, kamo choso, nanami kento, sukuna ryomen, yuuji itadori ╰►college is hell, and finals week is the seventh circle. as much as you love your boyfriend, you can have absolutely no distractions, not when the biggest tests of your life loom over you like a raincloud full of dread and fear of failure. they don’t take to being ignored so well, and they take to you ignoring yourself even worse. 6.9k words far left picture (teacup) by @nevroicastar on pinterest

a/n: can you tell that literally all I want in life is someone to be nice to me... :D anyways, this is pretty much pure fluff, reader is not taking care of herself, mentions of poor eating habits, lots of talk of academic validation, etc. so read at your own risk. as I got to the end of this, I realized that a lot of these are quite similar, so sorry about that, but when I have an idea I just kind of have to get it out, so here she is. kind of modern college au, but still within the sorcery realm???? I don’t know don’t ask. warnings: incredibly cheesy, me rambling about topics I do not understand at all (hello? theoretical geometry? didn't even know theoretical math existed?), and pure, unadultered comfort. enjoy <3

megumi knows what it’s like to seek academic validation like it’s oxygen. he wears his indifference like a badge—hood up, sleeves pushed to the elbows, bag slung low—but make no mistake: anything less than an a has him spiraling into a full-blown existential crisis. he may look composed, but internally he’s questioning his intelligence, his self-worth, the educational system, and the meaning of life in general.

so when you break down over a b- on a practice anatomy exam, he understands. doesn’t mean it doesn’t rip him apart. you never cry. never. but that night, your tears soaked into the fabric of his sweatshirt as you buried your face in his chest and whispered, “if this was the easier version, I'm dead. I'm so dead.” it wasn’t even going in the gradebook. didn’t matter. that grade haunted you.

the next morning, he wakes up alone. you beat him out of bed. that’s unheard of. he sends a text. then another.

“you at the library?” “eat something.”

no reply. eventually you respond, just not with anything he wants to hear.

“I'm gonna be really busy. maybe we should take a break until finals are over. you should hang out with yuuji.”

he scowls at the screen. as if yuuji hasn’t third-wheeled 70% of your dates. but megumi lets it go—for now. he assumes you’re just holed up in the library. he’s done the same thing. but it gets worse. you stop sleeping in his dorm, stop answering messages, stop functioning like a human being. you become a finals-week cryptid, subsisting on caffeine and sheer willpower. megumi would yell, if he didn’t know better. but he does know better. so he gets quiet. observant. subtle. he brings you real food. coaxes you into drinking water. slides his hoodie onto your shoulders when you’re shivering under the library ac. brushes your hair back with fingers that shake slightly when he realizes how tired you look. pulls the ramen cup away mid-bite and replaces it with something that didn’t come from a vending machine.

and when you cry over flashcards and whisper, “I don’t even know what a nephron does anymore,” he just starts quizzing you, reading aloud terms he can’t even pronounce correctly. he doesn’t know how you’re surviving this course. anatomy and physiology? it sounds like science hell. he hates it for you. but you don’t stop. not until finals week swallows you whole, trembling under the weight of your own expectations.

that’s when he draws the line.

your head is buried in your laptop at some godforsaken hour, eyes bloodshot and fingers twitching when—slam. he shuts your computer. “what—megumi! I was—”

toothbrush. sweatpants. his sweatshirt. he’s already dragging you to the bed, ignoring every protest as you weakly try to wiggle free. “I have to—”

“no, you don’t,” he says firmly. “you’re not studying. you’re sleeping.”

he scratches your scalp. presses featherlight kisses to the slope of your neck. hums something under his breath, steady and warm. eventually, your body gives out. you melt. and sleep like a corpse blessed by the gods. he watches you for a long while before finally letting himself rest beside you.

the next day, he waits outside the medicine building. the test is over. your scores won’t be posted for a few days. doesn’t matter. he just needs to see you. you step out, bleary-eyed and barely functioning, and he immediately pulls you into his arms. “you're never doing that to yourself again,” he mumbles into your hair.

you don’t even argue. you just nod and melt into him. and a few days later, the score is posted. you stare at your screen, stunned. an a. a solid, shining, hard-won a. and megumi just smirks like he knew it all along.

suguru graduated last spring. walked across the stage in slacks you'd picked out for him and a grin made of gold and ease. he didn’t look back. college wasn’t hard for him—it never had been. books opened for him like petals, and concepts bowed to his comprehension. it was never about the stress or the stakes. it was about the hours you'd spend curled beside him in the library, mumbling about amino acids or molecular orbitals while he stared at you like you were the sun.

back then, he'd ask you questions from flashcards, only to discard them halfway through and ask about your favorite color, your middle name, your childhood dog. he loved the way your face lit up when your brain found the answer to something hard, but he loved it even more when it lit up because of him. he wasn’t ashamed of that. he’s never been ashamed of how deeply he loves you.

but now…now, things are different. you're wrapped up in organic chemistry like it’s a vice grip. barely breathing, barely blinking. you’ve got every note and molecule memorized, and still you tell him, "it’s not enough." over and over, like a prayer, or a curse. you’ve been walking around like a ghost, and suguru sees it for what it is—devotion, desperation, and destruction all rolled into one. you say it’s just a test, but he knows it’s your everything.

and the worst part? he gets it. he gets what it’s like to build your identity on success. he just wishes you didn’t have to. because when you go missing for a whole day, when you don’t text him back or come home or answer his calls, he panics. he’s not dramatic—not usually—but you’re his, and suguru takes care of his things. so he finds you. of course he does.

you're in the back corner of the chem building, surrounded by papers and empty energy drink cans and what might be tears, though you’d never admit it. you look up when he walks in, and there’s a flash of guilt that crosses your face like lightning. it stings. “I'm so sorry, suguru,” you whisper. “but this is really, really important. I need you to leave me alone until I'm finished with this. I'm too tired and too stressed to worry about anything other than this test.”

that breaks something in him. because you’ve never made him feel like a burden. never once treated his presence like an interruption. and maybe he should’ve fought harder. maybe he should’ve scooped you up, carried you out of there like he wanted to, tucked you beneath his covers and kissed your forehead until the tension bled out of you.

but he’s selfish only sometimes, and never when it comes to your dreams.

so he lets you go. the test is four hours long. you emerge hollow-eyed, trembling, and murmuring something about how you probably failed. you don’t even cry. just breathe in, breathe out, and fall into bed without so much as a kiss. and when the grade is posted the next morning, a clean, perfect a, you don’t celebrate. don’t smile. don’t even tell him. he’s the one who finds out first. you just so relieved that it's finally over, half of you doesn't even care how you did.

he pulls you into his lap before you can protest and presses a hand to your chest like he’s checking if your heart still beats. it does, but he wants more than that. he wants you back. all of you.

so he makes suggestions. strong ones. "take a semester off," he murmurs against your temple. "or transfer. or move in with me. or all three. I'll take care of you. you don’t have to do this to yourself. you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. not when I already know how brilliant you are." you nod like you’re not hearing him, but he’s patient. he’ll wait. he’ll wait until you believe it too.

he jokes—often, obnoxiously—that he’s always known you were too good for him. that you were the prodigy and he was the pretty face. that your acceptance into medical school was the universe playing fair, because how else could the world possibly balance your brain and his everything else? but even with all that noise, gojo satoru is terrified of the way this test has eaten you alive. 

the usmle. the reaper in standardized exam form. every time he sees you, you’re either furiously annotating a textbook or passed out cold in someone’s office chair with flashcards stuck to your cheek. 

he tries everything at first. plays the doting, lovable nuisance role to perfection—stealing your laptop charger, faking existential crises that can only be soothed by forehead kisses, crawling into your lap and pretending to cry (“I need affection, babe, it’s for my health, come onnn—”). and you smile. you do. but you don’t stop. you never stop. and eventually even he has to let you go into that studying-induced blackout tunnel, even if it kills him not to be able to pull you out of it.

still, he never leaves. when your weekly date nights disappear, he sends you dumb memes and voice notes that say things like “this is what it sounds like when I cry without you here.” when you sleep in the library, he sneaks snacks into your backpack and slips hand warmers into your hoodie pockets. he’s not even sure you notice. but he does it anyway. because loving you isn’t something he tries to do. it’s something that just is. like gravity. 

the morning of the test, you’re shaking. eyes glassy, coffee untouched. it’s still dark out, and he hates how exhausted you look. you sit in the passenger seat of his car like you’ve been awake for a thousand years. he doesn’t try to make a joke. just…reaches over and tucks your hair behind your ear, thumb brushing your cheekbone.

“you’re not scared I'll be disappointed in you, right?” you shake your head, barely. but the thing is, he knows you. knows how your brain works. how you work. he can’t stop your nerves—he wouldn’t dream of trying. but he can hold them with you. sit there in the thick of it, still and steady and here. because that’s what you need. and when you finally leave to go take the test, gojo satoru doesn’t move. just waits. hours tick by. he plays stupid games on his phone. he thinks about the first time he saw you cry—finals week, sophomore year, when you were convinced you’d bombed a lab report—and how this feels exactly like that, only ten times worse. but then…you come back. and the world exhales.

you’re pale. wrecked. like you’ve just survived a war. you climb into the passenger seat like someone dropped you from space, and satoru immediately swaddles you in the blanket he brought from your dorm. 

“I brought gummy bears, sliced veggies, and a literal gallon of water,” he says. “and I have an entire playlist dedicated to ‘songs that say I'm so proud of you I could cry.’” you laugh. just a little. but he hears it. “think you passed?” he asks.

“I think I survived.”

“close enough.” he drives you home like you’re royalty. like the day’s been his test too, and this—getting you back—is his only passing grade.

later, when you’re fed and clean and warm in bed, buried in layers of blankets and wearing his t-shirt, he lays beside you and grins like a fool. 

“so,” he says, “how’s it going, dr. gojo?”

you raise a brow. “excuse me?”

“I just figured, if you’re gonna be a doctor, we should share the last name. has a nice ring to it. we’ll both be hot and dangerous. power couple energy.”

“oh, I'm taking your last name?”

“obviously. babe, have you met me?”

you roll your eyes—but there’s color back in your cheeks now. a glow. that fire he fell in love with. and he grins, victorious.

because you’re back. you’re his again. and no matter what happens next—residency, stress, long nights and endless hours—satoru’s ready. he’ll carry the whole weight of the world if it means you never have to go through that kind of thing alone. 

takuma is a man of simple truths: ramen tastes better after midnight, bleach is not the same thing as laundry detergent, and you—god, you—are the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

you're a prodigy. he says that like it’s a title, not just a fact. you graduated high school at fifteen, cruised through undergrad before most of your friends even started, and now you’re gunning for a ph.d. because what else would someone like you do? you’re brilliant, born for academia. he fell for you like gravity, no question, no hesitation.

and he’s not dumb—not really—but school was never his thing. he coasted through high school on vibes and charm, then lucked into an internship with some big-deal suit named nanami. it was supposed to be temporary, but ino had that golden retriever work ethic, the kind where people give you more responsibility just because you say “sure thing!” with enough enthusiasm. it works for him. it always has.

but when it comes to you, that easygoing confidence starts to fray. because you're drowning. and he doesn’t know how to save you. your advisor says jump, and you ask how high in four languages. volunteer work, tutoring, research, a part-time job, and now the gre is looming like a thundercloud over your future. you study until your voice is hoarse from reciting terms, until your notes are smudged with highlighter ink and tears.

you rope ino into helping, and of course he says yes. he’s happy to. he makes flashcards with cartoon doodles on the back, quizzes you on vocab while you’re brushing your teeth, lets you explain abstract statistical theory to him until you both fall asleep on the couch. you look exhausted, but you smile when he calls you professor, and that’s enough. until it isn’t. until the smiles fade. until he’s helping you study alone. until you stop asking. until he’s waiting at home for a version of you who never seems to arrive.

he wants to fix it, to fix you, but he doesn’t know how to fight a battle that’s inside your own head. so he does what he can. brings you snacks at work, texts you affirmations, makes dinner even though he’s bad at it, and watches your exhaustion turn to something scarily mechanical. you stop complaining. you stop talking. you stop looking him in the eye when you leave in the morning.

then test day comes. and he's so proud. not of this behavior, of course, but of you, despite it all. he makes you breakfast, walks you to the testing center even though it's freezing, kisses your forehead and tells you you're already the smartest person in the building. when you walk away, his chest hurts with how badly he wants this to go well. it does. kind of.

you take the gre and survive it—but there’s no relief. no celebration. no breath of freedom after months of suffocating. you just...keep going. more work shifts. more hours. more silence. and ino, patient as he is, can only hold back his worry for so long.

it’s late when he says it. you’re curled into him, back to his chest, your favorite blanket tucked around both of you. he’s got one arm around your waist, the other buried in your hair, his cheek pressed to the back of your neck. “hey,” he murmurs, soft and real. “you ever think about slowing down?” silence. so long, he thinks maybe you fell asleep. 

but then—“I'm just...so tired of trying to—to….” you whisper. “I just want to be good enough.” his heart cracks open.

“sweetheart,” he breathes, and holds you tighter, “you’re already more than good enough. you’re incredible. I picked you, remember? and I'm the smartest guy I know.” that gets a breath of a laugh. barely, mostly because you know that there was never choice, never other options. takuma was gone for you the minute he met you. if anything, you picked him and he will never be able to fully articulate his gratitude.

“I mean it,” he says, fingers stroking your hip. “you don’t need to break yourself to prove anything to anyone. not to them, and definitely not to me.” that night, something shifts. he starts small. no, you can’t pick up that extra shift. no, you won’t be checking your email at midnight. yes, he is bringing you lunch and walking you home, and no, he doesn’t care if you think it’s “too much.” and slowly, the girl who once thought success meant saying yes to everything starts learning how to say no.

ino’s proud of you. he always has been. but now? now he’s proud for you. because you’re still brilliant, still ambitious—but you’re happy, too. and that's the version of you he always wanted to love.

your love is loud.

not the annoying kind of loud—though inumaki’s friends might argue that point—but the good kind. the kind that fills every quiet space. that buzzes with laughter and slams cabinet doors and yells from the shower, “do you think pluto misses being a planet?” while he's brushing his teeth. you are his voice. and you never mind being it.

you speak when professors ask dumb, intrusive questions about his muteness. you say no when he can’t afford to risk saying it himself. you make it known—loud and clear, unmistakable—that you love him. that he is enough. that he is yours.

and he doesn’t need a thousand words to love you back. he just looks at you like you hung the stars yourself. he kisses you like a prayer. he taps his fingers three times against your wrist—i love you in the language only you and he share. it’s perfect. you’re perfect. until the exams start looming.

at first, it’s small. a missed meme here, a shorter phone call there. you’re still talking, still laughing, but it’s... less. and then it gets quieter. you stop yelling from the bathroom. you stop planning your little dates. you stop talking altogether on some days—just kiss his cheek, tired-eyed, and disappear into your books.

it’s horrifying. like watching the sun flicker out.

he doesn’t doubt your love. you’d never let him. you’d carved it into the walls of his world with every grin, every “you’re mine, forever, deal with it,” every hand squeezed under the table during group dates. but he misses you. the you who would sing off-key in the car. the you who once narrated his entire grocery list in the voice of an australian accent. so he fights back. quietly. carefully. tactically.

he starts leaving you little notes:

"you’re the smartest person I know."

"your brain is hot. that’s unfair"

"I love you more than rice balls."

(and in tiny scribbles) "don’t tell salmon."

they’re everywhere. in your shoes. on your toothpaste. tucked between pages of your study guides like secret spells.

he learns how to cook, too—little meals, nothing fancy, but made with so much love it might as well be michelin-starred. he pouts dramatically when you hesitate to eat, eyes big, mouth drawn down, holding the plate like a peace offering. and you fold, always. because how can you not? not when he made it for you.

and then the test comes. that stupid fucking test that stole you from him. you ace it. of course you do. you walk out of the testing center a little dazed, a little pale, and into his arms, and he scoops you up like the national treasure you are. doesn’t say a word. just holds you. then he takes you home.

he feeds you. literally spoon-feeds you soup he made himself. he showers you, kissing waterdrops off your cheeks, washing your hair with reverence like you’re something holy. he lays you down in bed and kisses your forehead, your knuckles, your stomach, your spine. worships you without ever saying a word. and bit by bit, your spark returns. you tease him again. you dance while brushing your teeth. but here’s the thing: now he watches for the signs. watches closely. a little too closely, maybe—but he’s not letting that darkness steal you again.

so when he sees you looking so tired again? he tugs your sleeve and hands you a note: no fading. I need your noise. and you read it, smile, and say, “you’ll never get rid of me that easy.” thank god.

choso is not a school guy. never has been, never will be. he goes because he has to, because society demands it and his scholarship requires it. but it’s never going to be his thing. he floats through most of his classes like a ghost—half-there, earbuds in, hoodie pulled over his head. a b+ on a paper is a win in his book, even if the professor writes "needs revision" all over it. who cares. life’s short. he’d rather be sleeping.

you, on the other hand, care. you care so much. about everything. you’re his high-strung, teeth-gritting, color-coded, always-scheduling, never-late girlfriend. and god, does he adore it.

he loves how strict you are. loves how you wake up at 6:00am every day without fail. loves the way you brush your teeth for exactly two minutes, three times a day. loves that you have a salad every tuesday and the exact same pasta order every thursday. you’re sharp edges and ticking clocks and perfect routines, and he—chaos incarnate—thrives under your rule. you keep him functioning. you’re the reason he knows when to register for classes, the reason he turns in assignments on time, the reason he eats meals that didn’t come from a vending machine.

you're the reason he's even passing. but that stupid, stupid theoretical geometry class…it drives you nuts. not slowly. not like a spiral, like most things. no—this class is like a wrecking ball to your entire system. you hate it. you say it constantly. “it’s not even real math,” you groan. “it’s just concepts. I can’t work with concepts. I need problems. I need solutions.”

at first, choso thinks it’s kinda cute. your little rants. the way you scowl at the textbook like it personally offended you. he tries to encourage you with little pats on the back, forehead kisses, sitting on the floor next to your desk with his laptop so you’ll stay focused while he scrolls through reddit and tells you about cursed fan theories. but then, the changes start.

you stop brushing your teeth three times a day. you forget to make lunch on tuesdays. your planner—your beautiful little planner that he once saw you cry over when you accidentally spilled coffee on it—starts collecting dust. you cancel date night. you forget date night existed. you study through dinner, through sleep, through entire days, and suddenly, choso’s the one asking you when your assignments are due. you are unraveling. and choso is helpless.

he tries to support you. follows you to study sessions like a sleepy, loyal puppy, clutching your coffee order and not understanding a single damn word of what you’re talking about. he doesn't get theoretical math. he barely gets regular math. but he tries. he watches youtube videos meant for third graders. he makes flashcards—incorrect ones, half the time—but he hands them to you with such innocent hope in his eyes that you pretend they’re helpful just to kiss him on the cheek.

he never once asks you to stop. never once says, “you’re scaring me,” or “you’re making yourself sick.” but he wants to. so badly. you’re not sleeping. you’re thinner. you smell like stress and highlighters. you apologize all the time, say you miss him, say you’ll fix it soon. but nothing fixes.

so he adapts. he picks up your slack. makes you breakfast, even if it’s just a granola bar and a post-it that says "please eat. you’re gonna ace it. also I miss you :/." does your laundry and folds it wrong and puts your shirts in the wrong drawer but he tries. he doesn’t even complain when you forget to text him back for a day and a half. he just sends a message like, “love you. proud of you. text me when you remember I exist!!” it sounds so needy and passive aggressive, but it’s not, it’s just choso, who so genuinely wants you to remember that you’re not alone. 

it breaks his heart when you reply, “I always remember. I just hate myself for not being better.” he refuses to let you carry that weight.

so when you cry the night before the exam, whispering, “what if I fail? what if I'm just not smart enough?” he kisses your temples and says, “then we drop out and open a donut shop. we’ll sell those cinnamon ones you like. you’ll do the math. I'll man the fryer.” you pass with flying colors. because of course you do. you’re brilliant and capable and too hard on yourself.

and the moment you do, choso sits you down and says, as gently and lovingly as a man with no boundaries or math comprehension can, “never again.” he means it. no more sacrificing your joy for a grade. no more skipping meals for numbers. no more breaking the routines that make you feel safe, secure, you. and you agree. you apologize again, of course you do, but he cuts it off with a kiss. he doesn’t want apologies. he wants his girl back.

you vow to never take another theoretical math class again—would rather switch majors, hell, switch schools. and choso vows to guard your schedule, your wellbeing, your sanity with the same devotion you once used to guard his grades.

because sure, he doesn’t care much about school. but he cares about you. and you? you’re the only constant he never wants to theorize. you’re the equation he solved the moment he met you. and he’s never letting you fall out of balance again.

at first, you wouldn’t let him help. you couldn’t. not because you didn’t need it—you did. badly. but need was dangerous. need led to reliance, and reliance led to disappointment, and you’ve never known anything but disappointment in the end. so you met every one of nanami’s gentle offerings with a hiss, a cold shoulder, a stiff spine and a scoff. you didn’t want kindness. you didn’t trust it. and yet—he stayed.

with his quiet voice and his tired eyes and his soft cashmere sweaters. with his thoughtful meals and perfectly timed cups of tea. with his ability to sit in silence and not make it feel like you were doing something wrong. nanami showed up for you over and over again, until you stopped flinching at the idea of someone showing up at all.

he’s older. settled. solid in a way that feels unreal to you. while you burn the candle at both ends and run yourself into the ground over essays and projects and unrelenting deadlines, nanami clocks out at 5:00, makes dinner at 6:00, and asks you if you’d like to come over for dessert like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

at first, you declined. then you said maybe. and then one night, you cried on his kitchen floor over a c in a class you hated, and he held you like it didn’t ruin his shirt or his night or his impression of you because, in all honesty, it only ruined his shirt; nothing more.

you started staying over. not all the time. not enough to leave your toothbrush next to his. not enough to cancel the lease on your overpriced apartment you barely use. you’re still scared. still stubborn. but god, does he make it hard to stay guarded. nanami treats you like you’re the most delicate thing he’s ever loved. not fragile—just precious. important. he has rules, quiet ones, and most of them are about you. you don’t skip meals. you don’t stay up past 1:00am. you don’t berate yourself over an 89.7 instead of a 90.

sometimes you listen. sometimes you argue. sometimes he finds you passed out on your laptop at 3:00am, and you feel his disappointment like a knife, but he never scolds you. never raises his voice. he just picks you up, tucks you in, presses a kiss to your temple and says something like, “you don’t have to do this alone.” and you don’t. that’s the worst part. you don’t. you have him. but sometimes your brain forgets that. especially this semester. this hellish, soul-draining, motivation-murdering semester that chewed you up and spit you back out into another one before you even caught your breath. nanami watches it happen in real time. watches you stop coming over. stop answering calls. stop eating the banana bread he baked with you in mind.

you’re not resting. you’re not sleeping. you’re not you. it scares him. not that he’d ever say it aloud. but it kills something in him every time you say, “I'm fine,” and he knows you’re lying. it’s like you’ve forgotten everything he taught you. so, he tries again. he doesn’t lecture. he never begs. but he texts. “are you eating today?” “my place is quiet. come nap.” “I miss you. you don’t have to talk. just be here.”

and finally, finally, finals end. and he takes you. scoops your burnt-out, hollow-eyed body from the wreckage and makes it his personal mission to bring you back to life. you sleep for almost a full day the first night at his place. when you wake up, he’s sitting in the armchair across from the couch, reading, glasses low on his nose. he just says, “welcome back,” and doesn’t comment on the dried tears on your cheeks.

every day of break, he softens you. with warm breakfasts and long baths and small, safe silences. with his hand on the small of your back and the quiet strength in his presence that says I've got you. eventually, it happens. the breakdown you’ve been avoiding for weeks. it’s late. you’re curled into his side, finally eating real food again, finally existing again, and you whisper, "I'm sorry. I shut you out. I didn’t mean to. I just...I don’t know how not to. I thought I was better, I—"

he doesn’t let you finish. just pulls you close and says, “you are better. you’re just tired. and I'm here.” you cry. you hate that you cry. but he doesn’t. he’s kissing your forehead, brushing your hair behind your ear, murmuring, “you’ve never hurt me. I only hurt when you’re hurting.” and that’s the moment you remember why you let him in at all. because he’s steady. because he’s not scared of your sharp edges. because where others left, nanami stayed. and when he suggests you take fewer credits next semester, your gut reaction is guilt, shame, refusal.

but he just raises an eyebrow and says, “you’ll still graduate in time. and even if you don't—I'm not going anywhere.” you believe him. for once in your life, you believe someone. so you drop the extra class. you leave a toothbrush at his place. you take a deep breath for the first time in months. and nanami—your warm, unwavering constant—watches you come back to yourself, bit by bit, every day. and he doesn’t say it out loud, but he thinks it every time he looks at you: no one can love you like I do. and that is the most beautiful thing I've ever had the privilege of. 

sukuna doesn’t do the boyfriend thing. not really. he’s hot, he’s untouchable, he’s slept with half the campus and ghosted the other half. he’s not the kind of guy who remembers anniversaries or asks how your day went or makes soup when you’re sick. or at least—he wasn’t. until you. you, who never asked him to be anything other than what he already was. you, who looked him in the eye, rough edges and all, and said “I don’t need to fix you.” you meant it. you still mean it. but he changed anyway. because disappointing you? hurting you? even by accident? that’s the one thing he can’t stomach. not now. not when he’s ruined so many things and somehow still got lucky enough to have you.

so when you start falling apart, he notices. it starts with a couple of weirdly average grades—an 85% on a midterm you were supposed to crush, a 7/10 on a quiz you studied hours for. you brush it off, but he sees the way it eats at you, worms its way into your confidence. you start staying up late, later, all night sometimes. your routine crumbles. you’re skipping meals. walking home alone in the dark. crawling into his bed after midnight and thinking he doesn’t notice. he notices.

and at first? yeah, he thinks it’s cute. in a stupid, masochistic way. you care so much. for what? a grade? a professor’s approval? you're a writer—an incredible one. he’s read your stories, soaked in your words, memorized whole passages of shit you’ve barely shared with anyone else. you don’t need a degree to prove you’re brilliant. you already are. but then it stops being cute. then it starts hurting. because now you’re not just tired. you’re hollow. you’re not just busy. you’re gone. and he can’t fucking stand that.

so he inserts himself. shamelessly. aggressively. shows up to the library with your favorite takeout. forces you to eat. pulls you out of your chair and into his lap like it’s his god-given right. covers your mouth with his hand when you protest, glaring at you through crimson eyes as he mutters, “you’re done for the night.”

and when you whine, “I'm not even close to being finished, kuna,” he just kisses the top of your head and doesn’t give a shit. “flunk out,” he says into your hair. “drop out. who cares? I'll handle everything.” he means it. every single word. if you never worked again, if you never lifted a finger again, he wouldn’t mind. in fact, he might prefer it. because sukuna has never believed in much—not school, not rules, not people—but he believes in you. always has. so he tightens his grip around your schedule. limits your study hours. makes you sleep. crushes you against his chest each night so you can’t wiggle away. when your friends text, “come study with us!” he replies for you: “she’s busy. fuck off.”

and it helps. a little. he keeps you from slipping too far. but even with his arms around you, you're still unraveling, whispering, “I don’t think I can do this,” like it’s some shameful confession. then the test comes. and you pass. not just pass—you crush it. top of the curve. feedback glowing. you’re shaking when you tell him. laughing in disbelief, wide-eyed and breathless, “I don’t know how it happened, it’s a miracle, I don’t—kuna, I thought I was going to fail—”

and sukuna, mr. I-don’t-give-a-shit-about-grades, who’s said a hundred times he doesn’t care if you pass or fail or burn the whole damn school down—he cares.

because that smile? the one on your face now, bright and radiant and real? that smile is what he does this all for. that smile is the closest thing to heaven a man like him will ever get. so he just shrugs and pulls you into his lap again, buries his face in your shoulder. “miracle my ass,” he grumbles. “you’re just a fucking genius.”

yuuji isn’t the best at school, but that doesn’t make him stupid—he’s sharp in all the ways that matter, intuitive, emotionally intelligent, loyal to a fault. still, academics were never where he shone brightest, and he knows that, accepts it with a shrug and a grin and a “hey, at least I'm trying.” and he is trying. not for some future career, not because he cares about grades or accolades, but because he wants to be good at something the way you’re good at everything. because when he looks at you—so graceful under pressure, so sharp and composed and somehow still soft with everyone around you—he wants to measure up. he wants to keep pace, even if he stumbles more than he’d like. even if half the time he’s just hanging on by the skin of his teeth.

you’ve always been kind to him about it. never made him feel slow, or behind, or less. you’re good like that—gracious in ways that disarm people, a born favorite, beloved without even trying. professors pull you aside to thank you for participating in class discussions. classmates email you asking for help. you’ve got this gentle gravity to you, this rare balance of competence and compassion, and it makes people trust you instantly. yuuji most of all.

but this semester, something shifted. you cut back on your work hours after landing an academic scholarship—because of course you did, you're brilliant—and decided, for reasons he still doesn’t entirely understand, to nearly double your course load. “I just wanna graduate a little faster, yu,” you said with that breezy smile, brushing it off like it was nothing, like your daily planner wasn’t already choked with color-coded breakdowns and your tote bag wasn’t already sagging with books and half-empty energy drinks. and at first, he believed you, because you’ve never lied to him before. you’re honest, almost to a fault. but it didn’t take long before that soft shell of composure started to crack.

you started sleeping less, studying more. the calls you used to answer right away now go to voicemail. the “good morning” texts he used to get by 7:30 are coming in hours late, if at all. you haven’t been to his apartment in over a week. and sure, you’re still managing—somehow you’re still getting the work done—but you’re so tired, and it’s not the kind of tired sleep can fix. he can see it in the way your voice shakes when you ask for an extension, even though the professor gives it without question. he hears it in the pause before you say “I'm okay,” like you’re trying to convince yourself. and it kills him. because you’re the strong one. the one who holds everything together. if you’re falling apart, then what hope does he have?

but here’s the thing—yuuji's tired, too. no one really notices, because he doesn’t complain. because he doesn’t let himself slow down. because his instinct, always, is to carry the weight alone if it means someone else gets to breathe a little easier. but he’s burning out right alongside you, pulling back-to-back all-nighters and forgetting to eat, pretending he’s fine because you need him to be. that’s who he is. that’s who he’s always been.

and when finals week finally ends—when the tests are done and the caffeine shakes wear off and the dark circles under both your eyes start to fade—he decides, without hesitation, that it’s over. no arguments. no compromises. you’re taking the summer off. you’re going to gojo’s beach house with megumi and the rest of the crew. you’re going to sleep until noon and eat things that don’t come in plastic wrap and learn what it means to do nothing again. and he is not letting you back into a course load that chews you up and spits you out just so you can cross the stage a semester earlier.

he doesn’t say it angrily. he says it quietly. like a vow. like a promise. because if anyone deserves to rest, it’s you. and if anyone’s going to make sure you actually do it, it’s him.

“you’re not weak for being tired,” he says one night, the two of you curled up on his bed, your body half-draped over his, your limbs heavy like you’re finally allowing yourself to feel just how exhausted you really are. “you work harder than anyone I know. and I know a lot of people who punch curses for a living.”

you huff a tired laugh against his chest, but it sounds more like a sigh. your fingers curl into the fabric of his shirt.

“I just…I thought if I could do it all now, if I could push through a little more, I could get to the good part faster. you know? the part where I've made it.”

he runs his hand over your back, gentle, rhythmic. “babe, you already made it. you're already everything. the rest is just paperwork and deadlines and weirdly specific formatting rules.”

you don’t respond for a long moment, and he can feel your breathing shift, feel the guilt brewing behind your silence, the way you stiffen just slightly like maybe you're trying not to cry. so he keeps going, softer now, slower.

“and hey,” he murmurs, tipping your chin up so you’ll look at him, “just because I couldn't fix this doesn’t mean I don’t see how hard it’s been. you don’t have to pretend for me, okay? I know it hurts. I know you’ve been running on empty. you don’t have to carry that alone.”

“but you’ve been tired too,” you whisper, your voice cracking under the weight of your own concern. “I haven’t even been there for you—”

“yes, you have,” he says, without letting you finish. “you always are. even when you think you’re not.”

he kisses your forehead then, like he’s sealing in every word. and it isn’t grand. it isn’t dramatic. but it’s real. it’s soft. it’s everything he’s been holding onto and everything he wants to give you now—space to fall apart, and space to rest, and the kind of love that doesn’t ask for anything back but lets you collapse into it anyway.

“you and me, okay?” he says into the silence. “all summer. rest, movies, megumi absolutely tearing gojo to shreds, eating until we feel sick. we deserve that. you deserve that.”

and this time, you believe him. not because you’re magically okay. not because the burnout vanishes. but because yuuji’s holding it with you, both hands open, no expectations, no shame—just love.

dividers by @cafekitsune

[twst-kumi]

Weeping Maiden [Act II]

[ACT II] CHAPTER 6

It has been a few days since her emotional meeting with Yuu. They agreed to meet every weekend. After getting him his own phone (making it easier for them to plan), they have been meeting at a small coffee shop every Saturday at 9am. Yuu made sure Grim was awake and ready to go early and in the shop, both siblings treated him like a child. He was the unofficial little brother.

“_ I have talked to Ambrose, he said if you want he can be your legal tutor.

_Why would he do that?

_ Because he is my legal tutor. He said he didn't want to separate us and would even set up an account for you.

_That’s very generous of him but why?

_ We are minors, and if we can't go back home, we need an identity and money to live here. Yuu, since we are not from this world, we don't legally exist in this world… well you don’t… I’m legally under Ambrose’s care.”

He could tell the RSA director was much more responsible just by looking at her. Fresh clothes, clean and spotless. Unlike him who wore his uniform for three days straight. Yuu only had two sets of regular uniform for a week, one for sports and that's all. [Name]... She had five sets and it changed depending on what she wanted. Her skirt varied in length, going from maxi to the average above knees. And it was worse with the sleeve, puffed, juliet (his favorite), Bishop, petal… She didn't have to worry about not having a uniform because she forgot to hang it to dry the night before and now she had to go with the smelly one. Then your fashion oriented teacher decide to lend you a new one (oversized, of course) until the other is dry.

“_ Now that I think about it, how come the RSA has women's uniforms ?

_ Ah… It was made for me by Ambrose and Flora.

_ Flora?

_ Yes, she is a fairy and is my caregiver. I’m the only girl there so it was decided to have another woman take care of me for some very biological reason…”

SHE HAVE A CAREGIVER?? Yuu almost spitted his coffee. He was the caregiver! And the therapist… [Name] could see his turmoil.

“_ Why not joining me in RSA ?

_ It would feel like betraying the other… and…

_ I’m happy that you made friends, you were such a loner in the past.”

Yuu waited for Grim to go get another cake with his sister's money before speaking.

“_ They are not my friends, I’m just following the script.

_ Script? Yuu… that-!

_ You were never interested in sports, I asked Ruggie about how you knew each other and he said that you just met at the festival and you were a fan. So I had Riddle ask Chen’ya about you, and you arrived at RSA at the entrance ceremony.”

[Name] shuddered instinctively as Yuu cupped her face lovingly. She unconsciously shivered as he smiled down at her.

“_ You know, I don’t like it when you lie and hide things from me.

_ I… I… I’m sorry brother … I didn't mean to…

_ So? Can you tell me how?”

[Name] took a deep breath before taking a sip of her coffee.

“_ This world is part of a game… and I’m a tester… I reached the end of the VDC before I got into this world.

_ I see, who was the main character?

_ A genderless character who came from another world. His default name was the same as yours so… in my game it was Yuu.

_ Were you good?

_ At the start not really, I was a complete beginner. I lost a lot at the start.”

She chuckled as Yuu smiled softly. He could remember how many times he rewind time, but he did die a lot at the start. The event she talked about concorded with his experience. He died at those exact places. [Name] wasn't aware of it, but she controlled him when she played the “game”. He didn't want her to feel sad so he kept silent.

“_I see, then I'm counting on you to help me in NRC.”

[Name] nodded eagerly. They continued to chat, with her talking about the story/future happening and him listening already aware of them. They spent the whole day doing that.

***

Flora was baking a pie for [Name], the young girl seemed happier nowadays. It was thanks to her loving care… and her brother.

The fairy hummed happily as she flew around, baking and cooking with magic was so easy and fun. She was certain her sisters would have agreed. Suddenly a soft knock was heard on the door.

“_ Yes? I'm sorry but [Name] isn't home yet.”

She opened the door and met a handsome young man. He was indeed handsome with his brown hair parted in the middle, falling gracefully reaching his ears, and those honeyed hazel eyes shining with a playful charm. What a handsome boy indeed, like a prince.

But after Neige’s incident she knew better than to trust a pretty face. Flora observed him carefully.

“_ Oh, what a pity then! I will come by tomorrow then. I just wanted to bring this bouquet of roses as a thank you for taking care of one of my dorm students.

_ Your dorm?

_ Ah, sorry. I forgot to introduce myself, I'm Henry Beaumont. I'm Aurelius' Dorm leader.

_ Oh my! I hope our Aurelius doesn't cause you problem.

_ Not at all, he is very helpful.”

Henry bowed politely as he gave her a soft smile. The fairy was gushing in front of him. He was so gentle, so elegant and charming. Without thinking, she took the roses.

“_ Well, I will go. Have a good night.”

[Name] walked through the garden at the front of her dorm. She hummed softly as she walked inside Royaldawn. The young girl blinked in surprise as she was greeted with a bouquet of roses. She smiled warmly as she took the bouquet.

“_ Thank you, Flora. What's the occasion?

_Oh, no. It's not from me. It's a gift from a charming student.”

[Name] nodded not thinking much about it.

“_ One isn't fully blooming…”

She said softly as her finger delicately brushed the petal.

“_Ouch! The thorn prickled my fingers…

_ Oh my! Let me see.”

[Name] chuckled softly as she watched Flora taking care of her finger.

<previous next>

Tag :

@cocomollo @owodi @illytian @mmysticc-ev0let @oreolover1

[freakied]

if you asked me what i want most in life i would say world peace, and then if you asked me what i really want most in life i would say fiancé!satoru being so obsessed with your engagement ring that he only wants handjobs for a week!!!!

its the pretty jewels moving up and down on his cock with your hand, of course, its mesmerizing! he's always thought your hands were so pretty, but now that your left one is decorated with a (ridiculously expensive) ring that he had brought, just the sight alone makes his dick jump...

so, once you get home from a late night out together one night, you had put satoru to sleep one time with a handjob. and as he was laying back and watching through his pretty lashes as your ring moved up and down with his building pleasure, he got a taste for your touch in a way he hasn't known before.

he was so obsessed with your ringed fingers wrapped around his cock that he wasn't even embarrassed when he came within minutes.if nothing else, the sight of his sticky cum dripping down over your ring was enough to turn this into a thing.

you don't know whether to be offended or not when the next night, you're kneeling down between his spread legs and itching for a taste of him, when he asks very sweetly if you could use your hand instead.

but you oblige, because he whines even louder now when you're stroking his thick, veiny length. he moans like he's in heat, because it's not only the sight of your ring that gets him going, it's what it represents. that he has access to you like this, to the intimate sides of you that no one else will ever see, for the rest of his life!

he's also the type of man to buy himself a matching engagement ring, so he has his own little decoration to symbolise his commitment to you. and once he learns that he can enjoy your engagement bands in other ways, sex progresses from handjobs to a whole new horizon of pleasure that didn't exist before you got engaged.

like when he has you on your back, legs locked around his waist to prevent him from going anywhere as he pistons into you, he's able to watch his ringed finger wrap around your neck and press down ever so gently. the glint of light that his ring catches when he's playing with your breath makes him twitch inside of you: and the look on your face tells him that you enjoy it just as much as him.

or when you're riding him, setting the pace as his fingers dig into your waist to ground himself. you reach up and troke the side of his face with your left hand, just to push your ring and middle finger into his mouth and press down on his tongue. his lips wrap around the ring on your finger and your poor fiancé can't help but reach orgasm there and then!

even when you're not having sex, it stays a thing. like when he's busy and missing you while he's away for work. and you send him a video that he opens in private to be met with the sight of your ringed-finger pushing deep into your cunt in a desperate attempt to emulate what he feels like inside of you. of course he ends up stroking himself in the nearest toilet or locked room, recording his own ring literally blurring from how fast he's jerking his cock to the thought of you needy and missing your fiancé at home.

everything sexual has to involve your rings, one way or another. he's taking nudes with his hand holding your tits together to show off his ring. he's holding onto your thighs so tight when tasting you that you're left with an indentation of his ring in your skin when he's done.

imagine how bad it gets when you actually get married.

thank u for all the love and welcoming me to tumblr i luv it here awww hopefully this was okay !! if ur reading this you're officially a resident of avivanation and its MY turn to welcome YOU! so welcome ^.^

[mariasont]

That anon was living under a rock because your smut fics (all of your fics tbh!) I reread wayyy to many times, lol. But if you’re taking smut requests, I’d love to see more bimbo!reader and Hotch! I can’t get enough.

I’ll take anything!! But more specifically, their first time, all of that built up tension (that you write so perfectly!) finally breaks!

Anyways, I never send in requests but I saw a window of opportunity and had to take it, haha.

Third Date Rule - A.H

summary: the third date proves to be worth the wait when you and hotch experience your first time together. pairings: aaron hotchner x bimbo!assistant!reader warnings: 18+ MDNI, sexy time, fingering, oral fem receiving, p in v, they did not in fact wrap it before tapping it and it's not really discussed so yeah idk about that one, aftercare wc: 7.7k

This was so overdue.

Technically, it's only been three dates. Technically.

But if you count all the years you'd known him, the months spent daydreaming about this moment, the weeks of waiting while he played the world's longest game of restraint, then really, you should have had him naked ages ago.

And if Aaron (which still feels like a thrill to say — Aaron — because you're dating now and you can freely call him that) wasn't so stubborn and noble and insufferably gentlemanly, you would have.

But tonight was finally the night. The third date. The sacred, hallowed, much-debated, universally accepted gateway to getting into the sheets. And yes, okay, maybe you barely survived the wait without jumping his bones, but that's hardly relevant now. The point is, you did it.

And now you're in his lap, his tie wound tight around your fingers, his tongue deep in your mouth, and gods, if this night didn't end with him inside you, you might actually die. 

Like, literally. Heart failure. Sudden death.

This was premeditated. At least, for you. You moisturized like your life depended on it, doused yourself in perfume that could be classified as a controlled substance, and selected a bra that made your tits look so insane, it might actually be illegal in some states.

And then you spent an embarrassing amount of time picking the perfect dress that says oh, I'm classy, but also please take me home and rip this off with your teeth.

You pull away, just enough to see him. To take in the slow bloom of pink trailing from his cheeks to the tips of his ears, the way his pupils are so wide they’ve all but erased the brown of his eyes. And his lips — swollen and red from kissing you — part like he was debating how bad it would be to drag you right back in. You wouldn’t mind.

“Aaron,” you sigh, fingers burying into his hair, marveling at how absurdly soft it is, how freely he lets you have this piece of him. “We should go to bed.”

For a second, he locks up. Not hesitation but calibration, a body processing desire so sharp it might break him. You feel it in the way his chest expands, in the quiet exhale through his nose.

"This wasn't my plan for the night," he murmurs, voice softer now, not strained, but steeped in something much gentler. Something careful. "I wasn't —," He shakes his head, like the whole concept doesn’t sit right in his mouth. "I don't want you to think this is just —,"

"Sex?"

You can see the way he wants to argue, like he wants to carve the word out of the air and replace it with something that means more.

"Yes."

You can’t stop the stupid, lovestruck smile pulling at your lips. Maybe it’s the wine from dinner finally working its magic. (It’s not.) Maybe it’s the way he’s looking at you, all serious and earnest, like you’re the only thing in existence, and if he blinks, you might vanish. (It definitely is.)

A laugh bubbles up, light and giddy, body not knowing what to do with all this adoration. You lean in, pressing a kiss to his jaw, just to see if he’ll let you. (He does.)

“Are you serious? If you just wanted sex, you wouldn’t have spent actual years pretending my very dedicated, very expertly executed attempts to seduce you weren’t happening.”

His brow arches, but you see it for what it is — a stall. “Expertly, huh?”

"Remember that heatwave last summer? When I just had to eat a popsicle at my desk every afternoon?"

His eyes darken like the memory is playing in high definition behind his eyes.

"I remember."

"Do you?" Your fingers slip beneath his color. “Because —” You tilt your head. “I always seemed to finish them standing in front of your office —"

You don't even get to finish your sentence. 

One second, you’re speaking, the next, you’re airborne. Lifted clean off the couch, legs locking around his waist automatically, arms thrown around his shoulders like you planned this all along.

You didn’t, but you wish you had. 

Not that it matters, because he’s already moving, already walking straight to the bedroom.

You bury your smile against his jaw, letting your breath tickle against the shell of his ear as another giggle slips out. It couldn’t be helped.

"I really hope you know," you whisper, “that I am, like, stupidly excited for this. Like, counting down the days excited.”

Aaron sets you down on the mattress gently, but his body doesn’t follow right away, hovering over you.

"You're not making this easy for me."

You ignore him because you’re much more distracted by how insanely soft his sheets are. That was your first thought when your back hits the mattress, hair fanning across the pillows.

For a fleeting second, you wonder if he’ll catch the scent of your perfume tomorrow. If he’ll notice the ghost of you when he lays down alone.

Your second was that this is so not the time nor place to get emotional. 

But this is his space. His bed. His room.

It’s tidy, but somehow not sterile, everything having its place, but not afraid to be used. A book sits on the nightstand, a book mark sticking out mid-thought. A photo frame faces the bed, though from this angle you struggle to see what’s inside.

There’s his suit jacket from yesterday, draped over the back of a chair, a little rumpled. 

And maybe it's silly, but you feel weirdly honored to be here.

You should probably be processing this moment, what it means to be here, with him, like this. Instead, you take a second to admire the view.

The lamp softens the sharp lines of his face, making him look almost gentle — which is funny, considering how you hoped to be thoroughly destroyed by him.

Something expands inside you, stretching against the walls of your chest, something too big, something that terrifies you.

So you do what you do best. You deflect.

“I can’t believe I’m about to sleep with my boss.”

He doesn’t even try to hide his exasperation, his forehead dropping into the crook of your neck. “Sweetheart—,”

"What?" You giggle, letting your fingers slide through his hair, letting your nails rake lightly over his scalp. "It's true."

His sigh is nothing short of pained, but then he kisses your cheek anyway, then your jaw, then the corner of your mouth. You were starting to feel like each was a thinly veiled attempt to tame you.

"Please don't phrase it like that."

"Yes, Mr. Hotchner." 

Every self-satisfied thought evaporates the moment he kisses you – really kisses you.

It’s not just a meeting of lips but a focused intensity, tongue sweeping inside your mouth and suddenly nothing before this mattered, because clearly, clearly, every kiss you’ve ever had was just practice for this one. 

Your body responds before your mind can catch up, spine arching and he doesn’t stop you, just kisses you with a hunger that makes teasing obsolete, that makes breathing secondary to the way he’s taking from you, giving to you, all at once.

His lips wander, dragging across your jaw like he’s leaving invisible ink behind, pressing something permanent into your skin.

You hope you’ll wake up tomorrow and still feel him there.

Your hands move to the nape of his neck, drawn by craving, by the need circling inside you like a ribbon of fire.

It stretches outward, licking at your skin, threading through your veins. His hands hold you still, spanning over your rib. His breath fans over your pulse, and you swear he can feel how fast it’s racing.

You should be gloating right now. This is, after all, exactly what you wanted, what you worked for. A biting remark sits on the top of your tongue, but then his mouth moves, and he finds it.

That wicked, traitorous little dip beneath your jaw that turns your entire brain into pink, glittering static. He pauses, listening, feeling, before sealing his mouth over it again, tongue dragging over the sensitive skin like he’s testing a theory that he already knows the answer to.

Your fingers clench in his hair, a startled sound choking in your throat before you can stop it. And then, the bastard laughs. Not sweet, not kind, but low and sharp and smug because he knows exactly what he’s done. 

You had the upper hand. Past tense.

"There it is," he murmurs, pressing another kiss there, his tongue flattening over it just to make you squirm. "You want to know how I figured this out?"

You hum, or try to. But it’s pathetic because you’re barely conscious, every cell fried to uselessness by his mouth.

He mimics you, just to be an ass about it, mocking the dazed little sound like he hasn’t just reduced you to it. "You always reached for it when I looked at you too long."

Your mouth opens. Closes.

"Or," he continues, "when I stood too close to you at the coffee machine. You'd fidget, tuck your hair behind your ear like you weren't thinking about it." His exhale burns against your pulse. "Cute."

You gasp, a little offended, mostly turned on. "Oh, wow. Profiling me? At work? That's, like, wildly unethical."

"Didn't need to," he murmurs. "You were practically begging me to figure you out."

His mouth is perfect in the way lightning is perfect – striking, searing, and completely out of your control. It’s perfect enough that you can pretend not to hear him.

He sucks, slow and hard enough to tear a sound from your lips before you even know it’s there, something that feels like vulnerability in its purest form. Something you would never willingly give him.

His laugh is quiet, wrecking, as he pulls back, lips slick with your skin. "That good?"

His mouth makes quick work, over your collarbone, down, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses, down, branding every inch of skin he can reach. 

He stops at the neckline of your dress, and suddenly, you can't think about anything except how it's still on.

You want to strip it off, want to offer yourself up as a willing sacrifice, but you’re well aware that if you try, if you even reach, he’ll stop you. Or worse, he'll make you wait. He'll slow you down, draw it out just to watch you squirm because patience is his weapon of choice, because he lives for making you suffer.

His teeth graze the swell of your breast, just enough to sting, and whatever fragile grip you had on yourself disintegrates on impact. Your hands fumble blindly for his face, fingers shaking, needing to see his eyes.

"Please, Aaron.” It’s an exhale, a prayer. “Need you."

You see the ripple of tension along his throat. And for one tiny, blinding second you think this is when he finally snaps, abandons his tolerance and just takes you.

"You don't know how long I've wanted you like this," he rumbles. "I'm going to take my time."

You whine, frustration bleeding from your fingertips where they clutch his shoulders, fingers digging in like you can physically push him into moving faster.

He does not move faster. 

His hands slide up to the straps of your dress, as he drags it down with all the urgency of a leisurely Sunday stroll. 

Your mind is halfway through an exceptionally justified complaint about how slow he is moving when he folds the dress.

Folds it.

Sets it aside. Doesn't toss it.

And that may be the hottest thing he's ever done.

Because you know he knows. He’s always known. Known that your things aren’t just things — that your dresses, your heels, your overpriced lip glosses aren’t frivolous, aren’t some shallow indulgence, but tiny, curated pieces of you.

He has listened to you decide between two pairs of shoes that are, for all intent and purposes, identical. He knows jasmine is mysterious and vanilla is flirty, knows that you’ll debate your right to own the same three shades of pink. 

And instead of dismissing it, instead of rolling his eyes (though he does that too), he folds your dress. As if it matters.

You stare at him, somewhere between melting and spontaneous combustion, and he simply raises a brow. “Something wrong?”

"No." You shake your head for emphasis, voice a little too weak to get the point across. "Just thinking I might have to marry you."

His hands settle at your waist, fingers tracing over the pink lace like he’s trying to process it, like if he touches it enough times, it’ll confirm that this is actually happening and not some cruel illusion. His thumb brushes the scalloped edge, breathing shallow. You were pretty sure he’s currently having a full-scale existential meltdown over lingerie.

"Agreed," he murmurs, distracted, hooded eyes still glued to your chest. "I think the courthouse opens at eight."

Your giggle stutters, hiccups right out of you, because his hands are suddenly everywhere, roaming with no clear plan, just a man in crisis over how much of you he wants to touch first. His palms skate over your stomach, down your thighs, up over your breasts.

"So, this is all I had to do to convince you to do what I want?"

His mouth follows, retracting the path of his hands, rewriting, reworking, perfecting – because apparently, the first time wasn’t good enough, wasn’t thorough enough. 

"You think this is what did it for me?" His voice is hushed. "You could've walked into my office six months ago and told me to get on one knee.” A kiss, open-mouthed, starving, just below your navel. “I would've done it."

Six months ago. You don't know if you believed that.

Except now you're spiraling, backtracking, rewinding, piecing together little details like some lovesick conspiracy theorist with red string and a bulletin board. Every interaction, every loaded glance, every time he let you get away with high-level flirtation without so much as a blink. You thought you were testing him, but what if he was never fighting at all?

And before you can even recover from that, before you can file an official grievance about why no one told you sooner, his hands squeeze at your thighs, his mouth so close to exactly where you need him, and his voice —

"You're so beautiful."

His nose presses into the damp center of your panties, and your hands fly to his hair so fast it’s practically reflex, breath stalling in your chest like your body forgot how to function for a second. 

This is everything. What you've wanted, dreamed of, written in the margins of notebooks (hypothetically, of course).

It should be perfect, but suddenly, it isn't.

Uncertainty slips between the cracks, heat turning into something less solid. You don’t have time to find it, to name it, because he’s already there, already sensing it, already fixing it before you even know what’s wrong.

"Hey." His voice hooks into you, gently reeling you back from wherever your brain was about to go. "We don't have to do anything you're not ready for."

"No, I—," The words come out far too fast and desperate, and you can't decipher why it's so hard to say. "I do want to. Obviously." The nervous laugh that follows is definitely not your usual flirty confidence. "Have you met yourself? Because if you haven't, I would love to introduce you. Tall, devastatingly handsome — you'd love him."

His move curves, but his eyes stay patient and focused, giving you a second to breathe.

"It's just..." Another pause, another frustrated sigh. "I haven't been with anyone in a while."

"That's okay, we can take it slow." He moves so that he's hovering above you again, brushing a strand of hair out of your face, his smile just amused enough to leave you flustered. "How long?"

"May."

"May?"

"Yeah, like, May. Three years ago."

Aaron just stares at you, processing. You can see the gears turning, the little mental loading wheel spinning, his expression caught between stunned and deeply interested.

His fingers creep up, sliding under your ribs, just close enough to the heavy swell of your tits to remind you exactly where you are. What he was doing to you before you so rudely derailed this into actual conversation.

"Really?"

You pinch his arm. "Hey! That is not an absurd amount of time."

"No. I know. I didn’t say that," he says quickly. "I'm just... surprised."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

His lips part and he immediately shakes his head, exhaling like he's physically trying to dispel what just ran through your mind, knowing exactly where your thoughts were.

"I just mean — I don't know how every man you meet doesn't immediately worship the ground you walk on."

"Oh, well, they do." You smile. "But I was only ever planning on letting one of them take me to bed."

You reach for his dress shirt buttons, tugging insistently, but your hands refuse to cooperate, not properly communicating with your brain.

It's his fault, you decide.

He looks too good, and it was extremely hard to focus on anything but that.

You have no idea how you survived dinner. Or the car ride home. Or even the eternity it took to get past the door, because that was definitely a struggle considering your mouth was all over his, tasting the whiskey he’d barely touched, before he could even get the key in the lock.

You spent all night picturing this, the way his hands would feel in you, the way his mouth would taste, the way his suit would look crumpled on the floor.

Which, in hindsight, probably meant you were a pretty terrible dinner guest. Nodding, smiling, pretending to listen, all while barely holding back the need to ride him in public.

Aaron laughs, clearly entertained by your struggle, and then, because he’s nothing if not arrogant, he starts undoing the buttons one-handed, to be a show-off.

It’s rude, really. Because now all you can do is watch, helpless as he peels himself open to reveal golden skin, dark hair dusting over firm pecs, trailing lower, disappearing beneath his belt. 

Your manicured fingers glide over the broad expanse of his shoulders, pushing his shirt away like uncovering some lost Renaissance painting that scholars would kill to get their hands on — something that should be in a temperature-controlled glass case, not just here, sprawled above you like he belongs to you. Which, he does, because he’s just letting you do this, letting you look. And you look. He is art. No, better than art. Art is stationary, lifeless, some brushstroke interpretation of what beauty should be. But this, him, he is warmth and breath and muscle.

Museums wish they had something this valuable. They’d burn down in despair if they knew he existed just for you.

"May," he muses, letting the word roll off his tongue, turning it over in his mind. "That's an oddly specific answer."

You make a vague sound of agreement, mostly just to acknowledge that yes, technically, he did say words, but you’re too busy to actually care. Too busy with spreading your hands over the planes of his chest, with grabbing at his belt.

"You were hired in May three years ago."

Your hands freeze. 

"That's... um weird." A slow blink. "Weird that you know that. Weirder that you noticed."

You work his belt loose, tugging it free. It’s meant to be a distraction, a well-placed touch to shift his focus from his revelation.

But then your plan backfires spectacularly because he’s hard, thick, unreasonably big and suddenly your fingers feel useless.

Aaron makes a sound — half a hiss, half a laugh — and his hands snap to your wrist, catching you before you can explore further, like he knew you were going to do that. "It’s okay, honey."

"I—I don't—," You blink up at him, floundering, desperately trying to sound casual. "That's, uh, I don't know what that's supposed to mean."

Aaron’s smirk deepens, his grip on you slackening just enough to trick you into thinking he’s going to be nice.

But then his other hand moves, slipping between your bodies, sliding beneath the heat trapped between your thighs, finding the neediest part of you, and pressing.

Your whole body jerks, a startled gasp catching in your throat as sensation flares — hot, sharp, mercilessly good.

His fingers start to move, rubbing tight circles against you. Your hands cling, one locked onto his bare shoulders, the other pressing against his dick, desperate to make him feel even a fraction of what he's doing to you.

It earns you a groan, low and gritty, hips twitching against your palm, his breath is hot against your lips, his mouth hovering just barely out of reach.

"I won't tease," he promises, but the way he bites at your bottom lip feels like a lie. His tongue is quick to follow, flicking over the welt he’s just left, soothing the burn before sealing it with a kiss, just this side of messy. “Three years… that’s a long time.” His lips skim yours again. “For both of us.”

A pleased sound bubbles up from your throat, slipping between his lips, that makes it obnoxiously clear just how much you love those words. That is a sentence you’d like embroidered on a pillow. Maybe cross-stitched into a nice, elegant frame for your future shared bedroom. 

"Oh," you sigh, a smile stretching against his lips. "I really, really, like knowing that. That's, like, incredible news."

Your brows scrunch, and you pull back just an inch. 

"Just to be clear, though, you do mean in a wow, you've ruined me for other women way, and not in a I've been to busy for a sex life way, right? Because those are two different things, and I need to know which one we're working with here—"

Aaron huffs a laugh and instead of answering with words, his hands slip into your panties, fingers finding your clit without prelude. Skin to skin now, no fabric, no flimsy barrier. Just touch.

His fingers dip lower, dragging through the slick, indecent in how easily he moves through the mess of you. He makes a noise — nearly a groan, mostly a hum of appreciation, of possession — before he spreads it, smearing your own arousal over your clit, rolling circles.

"Oh, wow, sweetheart."

Your thighs fall open like you have no say in it — because you don’t, because every instinct in you is reaching for him, needing it like a fix.

And maybe, maybe that should be embarrassing — the obvious, shameless way you seek him out — but it’s a gorgeous kind of humiliation, a flush that spreads lower.

"Well," you gasp, chest rising in stuttering little pants. "Y—you kept me waiting forever."

Aaron hushes you with a soft tsk, his fingers pressing, stroking, coaxing you into sweet, mindless submission. Every movement feels preordained, like he already knows your body, like he’s a man who’s spent years thinking about this.

"I know, sweetheart," he soothes, murmuring it against the fragile skin beneath your ear, punctuating it with a kiss. "But I think I'm making up for lost time pretty well."

"I guess," you manage. "Th—that's acceptable."

Aaron chuckles, the vibration traveling straight into your skin. His lips descend, an idolization thing, but it’s the kind of devotion that sets you on fire.

His hands spread over your thighs, parting them gently.

Your underwear drags down, slipping over your thighs, grazing the curve of your knees, and then off. And suddenly, there's nothing separating you from his eyes, from the way the air licks over you, cool against the sticky heat between your thighs.

His lips part like he wasn't expecting to fall apart so easily. Like he thought he'd have more time, more control. And the power in it, the sheer, intoxicating power of knowing he's just as affected as you are, that this is breaking him open, makes your skin fizz, burn, ache for him even more.

If someone had told you a year ago that Aaron Hotchner, mister all-business-all-the-time, would be between your legs, staring at you like he's never seen anything more perfect, you would have said something nonsensical. Something about fate. Or destiny.

And you would have been right. Because you always knew this was a definite.

"Oh, honey.... You're gorgeous," It's almost a whisper, like the words were dragged out of him against his will, stolen straight from his lungs the second his eyes landed on you. His gaze drinks you in, head tilting, lips parting, tongue skating over the swell of his bottom lip. “I knew you would be, but…”

A sharp, sizzling spark races up your spine, white-hot and unbearable, but when it should tip over into relief, it withers into frustration. The kind that makes your body revolt against the absence of touch. Your hips buck, thighs squeezing as if you can somehow force the friction you’re being deprived of.

"Give me a second, baby," he teases, caressing his nose along the inside of your thigh. "Just wanna look at you."

His mouth moves in decadent passes, open-mouthed kisses pressed into your inner thigh.

Another kiss. Then another. So close.

Then he detours. Veers off, pressing his lips into the dip of your hip instead, dragging his tongue along something that is not your clit.

"So perfect."

His fingers prod through your folds, parting you, fingertips wading through the slickness pooling at your entrance. The sound that spills from him is sinful.

All of your muscles coiling tight, every inch of you scorching with unmet need and just when you think you're going to have to beg him, just when the words start to form —

He gives in. 

His tongue is there first, dragging a flat, broad stripe through your center, licking over every hypersensitive inch of you before looking up at you through hooded eyes. You swear you nearly come from the sight alone.

"Knew you'd be sweet."

Aaron doesn't waste another second, burying himself in you, mouth moving like he's been ravenous for this. 

His grip is firm as he spreads you wider, keeping you at his mercy. His lips wrap around your clit for a split second before he moves again, tasing, licking, humming, lapping up everything you're giving him.

It's messy. Wet. Dripping. His mouth moves as he tries to wreck himself on you. Each second convincing you that he wouldn’t mind suffocating here if it meant another taste.

His nose nudges against you, the angle so cruelly perfect it sends another violent tremor through your body, legs jumping against his shoulders. Your fingers grasp blindly for purchase, gripping the sheets, tangling in his hair, at anything you can reach. 

"That's it, sweetheart," he murmurs into you, words muffled by your pussy. "Let me hear you."

"Oh — " The sound falls from your lips, your eyes squeezing shut like you can block out the overwhelming pleasure if you just try hard enough.  "Oh, that's — "

Your hips stutter, thighs tightening around his face.

Aaron chuckles darkly, and you feel it more than you hear it, the sound pulsing through your core.

You’re not sure you have a body anymore, not sure you exist outside of this moment. You’re just sensation, just trembling atoms held together only by his hands, his breath, his voice. There’s no past or future – just now, just him.

If this is what it means to transcend, to be unraveled and rewritten in the same breath, then let it consume you whole. You could die like this, and it would be the kindest death you could ever ask for.

A single finger ghosts over your entrance, teasing but never quite committing. He dips in, just the barest of intrusion, and you shudder, clenching around nothing because it’s gone just as fast. 

He waits, just long enough to hear the next breathy fussing before finally spearing back in. Your eyes flutter shut, breath breaking apart in little puffs.

The sounds coming from your cunt should embarrass you, sticky, so shockingly loud that if your brain was working, you’d be mortified. But it’s not working. Not even a little. 

His hand flattens over your stomach and suddenly the pressure doubles, triples.

"Tell me, baby," he murmurs, "feels good, doesn't it?"

"Yes, yes, oh my gods, Aaron, I—"

Your normal senses have left the building. Packed its bags, hit the road, abandoned you to whatever dark magic this is. Because this —this isn’t how your body works. This isn’t how guys work. You don’t come from this. 

But here you are, hurtling toward it at full speed and all because he decided you would.

It’s happening too fast, the pressure stacking. Your thighs shake open, stomach clenching so hard it aches. Your mind is lagging behind, still reeling, still trying to rationalize but it doesn’t matter because your body has already made its choice, has already given in, has already decided this is happening, whether you’re ready for it or not.

"Aaron, I think—,"

Aaron just groans, finishing your sentence for you, lapping up your confession with his tongue,

"I know, baby." Hot air blows against your swollen clit. "Let me feel it."

It crashes over you, back bowing off the bed. Your body splinters apart, thighs trembling so hard you couldn’t stop them if you tried. The edges of your vision smear into nothing as the pleasure consumes everything in its path. 

His mouth stays on you, tongue and fingers pushing you through the aftershocks until you’re clawing at the sheets, until that pleasure tilts so far into oversensitivity that makes you unaware if you’re pulling him closer or pushing him away.

Your limbs feel like liquid, consolidating into every inch of your body, melting into the mattress as Aaron moves to be face to face with you.

He's looking at you like he's the only thing keeping you tethered to this planet, and maybe he is, because when his lips get close enough, you tug him the rest of the way down, crashing your mouth into his in a way that's all sloppy desperation.

You can taste yourself on him, can feel the way he groans into it when you sigh against his mouth, all soft and dreamy and drunk on gratification. 

When you pull back, your fingers card through his hair, fixing nothing but feeling everything.

"Oh my gosh," you gasp, dissolving into giggles, toes curling as you flop back against the pillows. "I knew you'd be good at that, obviously, but I wasn't expecting all that. Like wow, you should get a certificate of excellence or something."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," you sigh dramatically, "Or like, a trophy, a raise, a sash that says best head giver in gold letters—," You pause for a breath, sucking in air like you just realized how winded you are.

"— and I mean, I've never come like that before. So. You should probably put that on your résumé."

When Aaron presses against you, you feel every inch of him. Thick and unfortunately still restrained. His slacks are a cruel barrier, the rough drag of the fabric catching your clit in a way that rips a whimper straight from your throat.

His teeth scrape along your jaw, then he's mouthing at your neck, sucking, teasing, marking you.

"Firstly," he murmurs. "I hate the idea of anyone else touching you."

An involuntary shiver rolls through you.

"And secondly," he continues, "the fact that they didn't even know how."

Your hands are frantic as they fly to his waistband, fumbling a bit, the last hindrance between you offensive in its existence. 

"Well, yeah," you sigh, looking up at him through fluttering lashes, glossy lips parted just for him. "I mean, you're literally the only one who's ever known what to do with me. That has to mean something, right? Like, cosmic destiny or whatever."

Aaron shoves his pants and briefs off, barely sparing them a second thought, and then he's back, fitted between your thighs.

"You already know the answer to that." His lips brush your temple. "I'm the only one who knows how to handle you. And I plan on proving it."

"Yeah, okay," you say, squirming beneath him. "Not gonna argue when that sounds like the best idea ever."

You've seen a lot of versions of Aaron. You've seen work Aaron, serious and bossy, looking at crime scenes like he can hear the evidence whispering just to him. You've seen grumpy Aaron, glaring over his coffee when you talk too much at morning briefings (but you know he likes it, he just won't say). You've seen soft Aaron, the one who lets you steal his jacket even though you definitely don't need it.

But you've never seen this Aaron. This post-kissing-you Aaron. Lips slick, still damp with you, evidence of where he’s been, what he’s done.

His eyes flick to yours, and there’s no shame, no rush to wipe it away. If anything, he tilts his head, letting you see it from a better angle.

"You're so handsome, Aaron." Your voice trembles. You don't even know if you said it out loud or just thought it so hard he must have heard it anyway.

"And you,” he murmurs, tracing his thumb over your cheek, “are so damn sweet, honey."

You beam at that, overwhelmed, so unbelievably happy that your thoughts are practically spilling out faster than you can catch them.

"Okay so I just need to say — this is so exciting, like, you do realize I've had a crush on you for years, right? And now this is actually happening, and that's just — wow."

You suck in a sharp breath, nails dragging over the thick muscles of his arms, across his shoulders.

"I mean, it's us, Aaron. Can you believe that? Like, I feel like this has been building for so long and now I'm just — gods, you're so hot, this is actually distracting me. I can't even finish my own thought —,"

You laugh, because you already feel so full of him and he isn't even inside you yet.

"And I know you're being all careful and slow because you're sweet and romantic and, like, the most perfect man alive, but also —,"

You grind up, chasing friction, his cock sliding just right over your clit. Your breath stutters, hands fisting at the nape of his neck as you try to remember what you were saying.

" — I'm literally at your mercy right now, so you should probably take advantage of that before I —,"

"You talk so much, baby."

And then he shuts you up. Hard.

His mouth rams into yours, ingesting the comment, the breath, everything.

He doesn't rush. 

The head of his cock nudges at your entrance before he finally, slowly, pushes inside.

It knocks the breath from your lungs. Your mouth parts against his, lips catching on his as a little sigh slips out. Your nails dig into his shoulders, helpless against the way he's opening you up. 

He stills, a sharp, fractured inhale slicing through the air, fingers digging into your hips — hard. He is struggling. You can feel it. The way his cock twitches inside you, like his body is screaming at him to move.

"I-I'm good." Your laugh wobbles, catches at the edges, barely disguising how badly you want him to believe you. "You can keep going."

"You're tensing because it's been a while." You don't mean to, but your body reacts before your brain can tell it not to, stiffening. Stupid, stupid. His exhale is shaky, and his lips press against your cheek. "I know that. I expected that."

You swallow, but it doesn't help.

"I also know that you think if I notice, I'll stop." His forehead rests against yours. "But I need you to hear me, baby. I'm not stopping."

His lips graze yours.

"I'm going to work you through this. Just let me in, princess."

And the second you do, the second you finally give in —

He groans, pushing deeper, stretching you completely, filling you to the hilt. 

"There we go," he breathes, wrecked with praise. His hand presses to your lower belly, feeling how deep he is, how well you take him. "That's my good girl."

Your head tilts back, lips parting, body doing the melty thing that feels really, really nice but also really, really dangerous because you swear you're seconds away from levitating straight out of your own skin.

"Okay, so I did think this would feel good —," Your fingers twitch against his chest, nails raking lightly over sweat-damp skin as another sharp moan tumbles free. "— but, um, wow, this is like — this is so —,"

Your words taper off, get lost somewhere between your psyche and your mouth, because oh. Oh, wow. He's so deep, so heavy inside you, pressing into places you didn't even know existed.

"Go on, baby," he murmurs, a smirk plastered across handsome features as he dips his head. "You were saying?"

"You know," you gasp, words all flimsy and loose, like they've been shaken up inside you, "I kinda always wondered how big you were —"

Your breath hooks halfway through, hiccups on a moan, brain scrambling to keep up with your mouth, your mouth scrambling to keep up with — him.

"Not that I, um — I stared at your pants or anything —" Another sharp inhale, another desperate moan, your walls fluctuating and squeezing around something too thick. "I mean, I try not to because I'm a professional —"

An involuntary clench makes him curse, makes his fingers dip into your hips, makes his head plunge forward hard against your shoulder.

"Honey, shit—,"

Your lashes flutter. "What?"

"Sweetheart, if you keep squeezing me like that while you ramble about my cock, I'm not going to last."

Your mouth clicks shut promptly.

"That's what I thought."

Hotch rocks his hips, just once, a sharp gasp fissuring from your lips like you weren't expecting it. 

"Jesus, sweetheart. You're trembling." He cups your cheek, his thumb skimming over your bottom lip, eyes dark and aflame. "Does it feel that good?"

You nod, and he hums, dragging his cock almost all the way out before pushing back in. 

His hand drags down your waist, spans over your belly, fingers pressing like he's charting the way he fits inside you.

"I used to tell myself I wouldn't do this," he admits. "That I wouldn't touch you. Wouldn't ruin you like this."

Your head lolls back, eyes fluttering, lips parted prettily, gasping as he rocks into you again, and again, and again. You shake your head, or at least, you think you do.

"You don't —" You try to shape words, but they liquefy on your tongue. "Don't ruin me, Aaron, you — oh, you make me —"

Hotch's throat bobs, his pupils blown.

"You make me so, so good, so soft, so perfect."

His hand cups your jaw. "You're already all of those things, sweetheart."

"Not before you," you sigh. "I've been waiting so long, Aaron, so, so long —"

"I know, baby," he groans. "I know."

His hand veers between your bodies, his fingers finding the swollen, neglected bundle of nerves.

“Aaron — oh, wait, wait, wait —,” Your hands shoot up to his shoulders. “I don’t know if I can, I mean, I can, but it’s just —,”

His cock throbs inside you, his rhythm stuttering for half a second before he finds it again, harder this time, his fingers matching the pace.

“Too much?”

“Yes, no, kind of? I don’t know, I can’t—,” You choke on your own breath as another thrust knocks every last rumination from your head. “I can’t think.”

“Good.” His forehead presses against yours, his lips parting against your mouth, panting, his control slipping. “I don’t want you thinking. Just feel me, sweetheart. Feel what I’m doing to you.”

Your body is shaking, shaking so hard that you don’t even know if you’re moving or if he’s just pushing you through it. 

“I know, baby. But you can take it, can’t you?”

“Y-Yeah,” you stutter, body twitching. 

“That’s my girl,” he praises, groaning as he grinds into you, stretching it. “One more, honey. You can give me one more.”

It hits you slowly, unwinding through your organs like smelted honey.

“Oh, oh —,” Your breath falters, mind going blank, the pleasure overwhelming every nerve in your body until you can’t do anything but let it consume you.

“Christ,” he groans, feeling you clench around him so tight it nearly undoes him.

You barely register the way you’re gasping, twitching, babbling out breathless little moans, vision blurring, and for a second you think you might black out.

“That’s it, princess,” he rasps, fucking you through it the reverberations. “So, so good for me.”

His pace turns shallow, sharp, chasing the tight, perfect squeezing of you still thrashing around him.

“You’re so tight, honey,” he grits, hands bruising your hips, your breath still catching from your own orgasm.

You’re too gone to respond, too wrung out to do anything but whimper as he takes you, using your body to pull himself over the edge.

He groans, low and deep, his fingers tangling in your hair, his mouth ghosting over your cheek as he finally breaks.

A shudder, a muttered curse, his body jerking, hips slamming into yours as he spills inside you.

He doesn’t mean to collapse, you know that, because even as his body gives out, his arms brace, still trying to be careful, even now. You want to cling to him, lock your legs around his waist, but you barely remember how to move, so you just let out a sleepy sound, nuzzling blindly at his throat. 

He murmurs something low, something that sounds like praise, maybe worship.

His lips press to the side of your face, half-gone and still recovering, and then his muscles tense, trying to lift himself off you.

Your arms wind around his neck before he can get too far. 

“Sweetheart,” he rasps, “I’m crushing you.”

“Don’t care,” you mumble, voice a little hoarse. “Feels nice.”

“You did so good.”

When he finally pulls out, you feel the loss and everything that comes with it, his release sticky and warm beneath your thighs. 

Aaron disappears into the bathroom, and you barely have time to miss him before he’s back with a warm cloth in hand.

You giggle, squirming before he even touches you, already restless, and the second he presses the cloth to your inner thighs, you jerk, laughing helplessly.

“Oh, wait —,”

Aaron sighs, one hand pressing against your hip to keep you still. “Sweetheart. You have to let me clean you up”

“But it tickles—,”

He smirks and continues his work. “How do you feel?”

“Like I saw god actually,” you ramble, kicking your feet against the sheets. “Or, like, like, if I had to describe it, I’d say I transcended reality for a little bit —,”

Aaron just chuckles, pressing a kiss to your knee as he finishes cleaning you up. Each swipe reminds you that your legs might not be on speaking terms with you tomorrow.

When he’s done his mouth finds yours again. It’s easy to kiss him. If it were physically possible to stay attached to him, twenty-four hours a day, you’d gladly test the theory.

“Worth the wait,” he breathes into your mouth.

“Well, yeah,” you murmur, smirking up at him. “I figured it would be for you.”

He laughs.

“Yeah, baby, you were good,” he mutters, kissing right over your stuttering pulse. “You were so good.” Another kiss. “So good I’m already thinking about the next time.”

Your heart hasn’t even slowed down, and you’re already thinking about the next time. Already plotting, already ready to drag him back down and see just how quickly that next time could turn into right now. But before you can so much as tug at him — Aaron is rolling out of bed, pulling on his pants, disappearing into the kitchen.

You mean to protest, to demand why he left you alone in a post-bliss haze, but then he’s back, pressing a glass of water into your hand, watching you drink it like it’s his personal responsibility.

Then comes food, something light and something he feeds you between kisses, between lazy murmurs about nothing. 

At some point, the blankets are back over you, his lips pressing against your forehead, his voice saying something about getting some sleep before you got any ideas, before pulling you against him.

You hum, content and drowsy, shifting a little, rolling over to get more comfortable —

And then your eyes land on that photo frame from earlier. You had a clear view of it now.

It was you.

It takes you a second to place it, but once you do, you almost laugh. You know this photo — because Garcia took it. She printed it out months ago, probably as some ridiculous gag, and stuck it to Aaron’s office wall with a bright sticky note that read your favorite obviously. You’d rolled your eyes at the time, called it workplace favoritism, but he’d never taken it down. 

And now, somehow, it’s framed. On his nightstand, like he’s been looking at you every night for —

You don’t finish the thought.

Instead, you just smile, huge and uncontrollable.

He doesn’t say anything.

And you don’t need him to.

Because you already know.

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[caramelcoloredkiss]

hello! i saw ur post and im excited to read ur works so i decided to give u a request! hope u dont mind :3

m!reader who is really slim, not to the point he's unhealthy but just think of him having every girl's dream body, and then there's m!reader's bf who wants to see m!reader under all that baggy clothing but doesn't want to be too pushy so he waits until they finally decide to make love and the moment m!reader's bf sees such a heavenly sight, all he wants to mark him inside out!! kinks r up to u but i do would request creampie :3

First request from our lovely anon! Your wish is my command <3

"𝐻𝑜𝓁𝒹 𝓂𝑒 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓂𝑒𝒶𝓃 𝒾𝓉 ٭"

[OC!Malcom x Sub!Male reader]

"You were always avoiding the topic of sex when it came to your boyfriend, but being so stressed over the course of your semester. You just needed something to relieve stress. Luckily your boyfriend is just so happy to give it to you.

Contains: 18+ , sweet -> smutty, body worship, size difference, creampie, praise, insecure+anxiety filled!reader

Let me know if you have any feed back or criticism! Or just how you feel about this~

───────────────────────────

If there were a man that knew how to make you feel loved, it was your boyfriend.

Malcom was infatuated by your very existance. The way you laughed, spoke, and moved— by God it was like you put a curse on him. The smell of your cologne and shampoo had filled his senses; he had always held you close like it was his last.

You knew his love was bigger than anything else, but it always caught you off guard whenever he said it so casually. How were you able to get your hands in a man that had the biggest heart in the world? You weren't so sure.

"It's so unfair!"

You had felt yourself flinch from the sudden declaration; it was your friend, who had been laying on the carpeted ground of the living room in your apartment. She had began to talk about her exe's while you both worked on a document for your college assignment, honestly if you didn't know any better— she probably only came here to vent about more of her failed relationships.

"You seriously wouldn't believe it! The fucking asshole had the audacity to comment about my sex life! Like— if you want pussy that badly go to a prostitute! Or all the other fucking girls who you keep switching between every week!"

She huffed, pressing her face on the pillow she had taken from the sofa to muffle her uncontrollable yelling. Sofie had always been a bit easily agitated, but today was her last straw apparently.

"Why'd you even date him?"

You asked, pausing your typing on your laptop to lean back on the sofa while she rolled around on the floor, kicking her legs in the air. Your friend let out a sigh and took the pillow off her face, she looked extremely tired, did the situation really bother her that much?

"Look man.. He had good dick! But the asshole had something worth bragging and decided it was his whole personality! He was pretty big too so—"

Too much details!

"Okay stop! I don't wanna hear the details of you sex with him."

You shudder at the very thought of it, this girl was shameless, but she was your bestfriend so you couldn't complain about your choices.

"Whateverrr—"

Sofie sat up from the floor and stood up, heading towards your kitchen— your semi-kitchen anyways. She grabbed the caramel pudding that was stashed underneath, it was still so weird how she could just find the snacks Malcom buys you.

" anyways I probably shouldn't complain to you, not when your boyfriend was sent by God apparently. Seriously! He keeps buying you shit, my boyfriends couldn't even buy me flowers!"

"It's because he's nice to me, besides I buy him just as much the amount as he does for me."

Sofie teasingly rolled her eyes and peeled the packaging seal of the pudding, grabbing a spoon to eat.

"Mhm sure. Oh yeah— he dicked you down yet?"

You coughed out loud, choking in your own saliva; caught off guard by her words. Did this girl just wear no filter whenever you were around? Usually she was more shy with people.

"𝘚𝘰𝘧𝘪𝘦! Why are you so sex craved!?—"

"I am not! I just haven't heard much from you about yours, is he that bad?—"

"—well I wouldn't know! "

You both paused, sitting in silence. You didn't mean to say that—it was true but it didn't have to be said!

Closing your laptop, you put it besides you, theirs no way you could work under these way too personal questions.

"Oh, really? I heard Malcolm was pretty good. Did he not want to? Kinda fucked up if so." Sofie said, scooping a spoonful of pudding in the cup to shove in her mouth. Walking back to you to sit on the couch.

You shook your head, it wasn't like he didn't want to have sex with you. It was the fact that you were too scared to even show your body to him, you were slim, yeah it was almost every girls ideal body type— but you didn't even know if it was 𝘩𝘪𝘴. You were already in disbelief by the fact that he even reciprocated feelings for you, sex was the last thing that came into your mind.

But it didn't mean you could avoid the image of his muscular arms caging you while you layed helpless at his mercy, not mentioning the fact that he constantly walked around shirtless in your apartment— You fought your urges every day at that point.

"Well if not, I say you should, we already finished our exams you might as well get some relaxation in your life before our semester is over— we only have to submit a few of our projects left anyways."

You felt your cheeks burn, it was ridiculous. The thought of finally making love to him made you feel completely weak, you weren't even sure if he wanted to have sex with you.

"—He's probably been waiting for you to give permission or something."

You could only hope she was right.

This is embarrassing.

You layed on your bed for what felt like hours, waiting for him.

"Why is he taking so long? Ugh, I might throw up."

Sitting up, you moved from your bed to open your bed side cabinet— you had bought some lube and condoms from the store just a bit earlier, having to go to the counter to purchase the said items made you want to curl up into a ball, for fucks sakes—

Of course the cashier wasn't the only one to witness you buy them!

You were an adult.

You weren't supposed to be ashamed for buying them, or even about sex in general! But you were a virgin, someone who had stayed far away from any form of sexual intimacy for the sake of your own dignity— and now you were offering it to 𝘩𝘪𝘮.

"Calm down, [Name]. If he doesn't want to that's fine, you can just cope with it and move on!"

You felt yourself shaking, dammit you felt pathetic. It wasn't your fault your mom wanted to keep you safe! Maybe this was a bad idea, if he didn't say anything then that probably meant he—

You felt a sudden pressure wrap around your waist, the figure burying it's nose at the crook of you neck.

"Hi baby.. I missed you.."

You made a quick reaction and closed your cabinet, praying he hadn't just seen what you prepared.

"M-Malcom! Hi— did your practice go well?"

Turning your body around to look at him, lifting his face off your neck—you gently caressed his face with incredible amounts of affection. While he had determinely locked his arms around your waist, seemingly needy for your touch.

"It was fine.. Took too long, it was a pain in the ass.. "

You nodded, as he leaned his face against your hand. Malcom had always been a bit clingy when he was exhausted— desperate to touch you and to feel his cold hands on your warm skin.

Malcom was beautiful, he had bronze skin that developed from all the times he bathed underneath the sun, and green eyes that just lit up every time he had something say. His hair was flawless, his sister had always taken care of it; dark brown and with a few strands of his hair framing his face— not to mention the mole underneath his lips. [Name] was desperate to see what else is underneath just his beauty, what would he look like when they were indulging in sinful acts, what would he whisper, what would he do.

—You wanted to know...

But, he looked so tired. Probably desperate to just lay in bed and cuddle, we're you really gonna be selfish enough to take that away from him? You didn't want that, so maybe it was alright to wait a bit longer.

"[Name], I heard from Sofie you wanted to talk to me about something.. "

Malcom whispered, pressing his lips against the palm of your hand while he looked down at you with half lidded eyes, not bothering to break eye contact.

Ah, so Sofie had been out to get you.

"Its— not important, you're probably exhausted right? Let's just go to bed—"

As you were about to pull away from his hold, he tightens his arms. Damn his muscular body!

Malcom was determined to get your words out of you, a tired Malcom wasn't easy to deal with.

"You know I don't like you lying to me, spit it out, hm?"

He kept his body firm and pressed you against his chest, he smelt good, he probably showered before coming here.

"I just— it's nothing."

Malcom sighed, giving you one last look of dissatisfaction. He let's go of your hug, which made you whine a bit, his body was warm! Before sitting down at the edge of your bed, pulling you by your arm to fall on his lap. Fuck, this wasn't the best position for someone who had just been craving to get fucked by the man in front of him. Your face was getting warmer and warmer each time he looked at you, this was gonna be hard.

"Please baby? I just wanna know what's botherin' you.. That's all."

He looked a bit sad, wrapping his arms around you waist once more to pull you closer to him, with your legs in between his hips. This man was seriously not helping you.

You let out a sigh, finally giving up on holding your ground. It wasn't like it was that strong anyways.

"I-Its just that, I noticed how we were both a bit stressed out during the semester.. And it made me think, we hadn't really done much to relieve ourselves... So I thought.. Maybe you wanted to.. "

"Make love?"

You blinked, his eyes were soft, but they looked crazed— like he had been waiting so long for this very moment. It honestly made you feel a bit nervous, you weren't prepared for the reaction he would give.

"Ah— yeah, I wanna make love to you, please.. I wanna feel you." You could die from over heating.

But that seemed to be the words he needed to hear, his lips pulling up to a soft smile.

"You could've just said so, I've been wanting for you.."

Before you could respond, he took your lips.

You held onto his bicep to avoid collapsing into his arms, reciprocating the heated kiss. Your abdomen felt like it was burning, just as you were desperately trying to taste every inch of his mouth. His tongue was dominating, sucking onto yours as your salivas was mixed with the messy kiss, occasional gasps and moans leaving your lips.

"Been waiting..so long— fuck."

"ah.. haa..Malcom—"

He pulled away, before returning for another serving, you could feel your head spin a bit. This much more intense your previous make out sessions.

You pull away this time, the string of saliva showing the previous connection of your lips. The illuminating lamp at the top of your cabinet was the only thing that lit up your otherwise pitch dark room. It has how you could see the look of hunger Malcom gave you, he didn't move his face any farther from just an inch, you could feel his hot breath hit your face. He pressed his lips on your right cheek, giving it a wet kiss before lowering his attention to you other half.

"You're so responsive.. [Name], strip for me, yeah? ."

"I-"

You couldn't believe this, when did Malcom become so blunt.

Despite your thoughts, you grabbed the hem of your sweatshirt, it was pretty big compared to you. If anything all of your clothes were to big for you, hiding your body unintentionally. So when you had pulled it off, Malcom stared. He looked so deeply enamored by how your body was made— how well it was made for him.

"You look so beautiful.. Such a pretty body, been hiding their away from for too long haven't you? [Name]."

He connected his lips to your neck, suckling at your skin as he licked and nipped the same spot, stopping and moving to the next. You let out small moans, which made you bite your lip to silence it, but Malcom didn't seem to appreciate it— pulling his lips away from your awfully sensitive skin.

"Don't do that, I wanna hear all you pretty sounds, I want everyone to know how good you feel.. "

You could only reluctantly nod, and let your whined moans strain— your throat from how intensely Malcom was sucking at your skin.

He lowered his attention each time he successful left a mark, using his calloused hands to rub the side of you waist, lowering his hand to squeeze your ass, which made you bite back a squeal.

"You're so cute [Name], wanna see all of you okay?"

You could only nod again, as he gently pulled you shorts down along with you briefs. Showing the obvious erection that had built up throughout the whole thing.

"Such a cute cock.. "

"H-Hey, stop saying embarrassing things.. "

Malcom let out a chuckle, as he kissed your jaw, letting your clothes fall on the floor. He lifts you up and lays your back on the bed as gently as he could, he supports himself on his knees while pulling his shirt off, throwing it carelessly on the floor along with the others.

"You are so fucking beautiful— [Name]"

He leans down to kiss your stomach, going back up to kiss you cheek. Why was he just so loving?

𝘖𝘩 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵.

"I-I bought lube, it's in the cabinet, s-so it'll be easier to..you know."

Malcom sat back up and reached his hand to slide open the cabinet.

"Came prepared huh, baby. Want we to stretch you out?"

"Y-Yeah.."

Malcom smiles, grabbing the tube of lube and squeezing a generous amount on his hand, spreading it throughout his fingers.

"Gonna slide it in okay?"

"O-okay"

He leans back down to hold you and just as he promised, he slid one of his finger in—fuck his finger was bigger than you thought.

"Hm.. You tried stretch yourself out.."

You nodded, burrying your face in his shoulder while he pumped his finger in and out of your hole.

"M' fingers weren't—ah!— e-enough.."

"You did good, I'll do the rest.."

You gasped and wrapped you hands around his torso, your nails piercing at his back, but he didn't seem to mind, only inserting a second finger in to thrust in your hole. The cold lube and his thick fingers were going to kill you, this was too much of a combination.

Malcom was a lot bigger than you thought, he was practically hiding your body from just how broad his shoulders were, not to mention the tent in his sweatpants weren't going unnoticed by just how— big it was..

"Aah—! f-fuck Mal— why are your fingers so big!?"

You screamed, feeling practically all three of his finger simultaneously out thrusting in and out of your hole. This was unfair, you were going to cum untouched at this point!

"You're just small, baby. S'not my fault you're so reactive.." He grinned, his canines displaying. This bastard!

"You—ahh!— wha—"

He hit your spot, and he didn't stop—curling his fingers to press your prostate, which just made you cry out a moan, your toes curling from the unexpected pleasure. This was too much.

He kept going, pumping his fingers and putting pressure on your prostate.

"M-Mal I'm gonna!—"

You came, squirts of white sticky cum came out the tip of your cock, you were holding on for so long. But Malcom looked satisfied, his smile never faltering as he kissed your tear filled eyes, licking away the salty water.

"You did so well baby, m' gonna fill you up now alright?—you look so pretty while cumming."

He pulled his fingers out of your hole, much to your disappointment. Malcom slid his sweatpants off along with his boxers, pumping his cock a few times before grabbing a pack of condom in your cabinet.

He was big, it was obvious, you knew it was going to be possible— but seeing it is leaving you speeches.

"Like what you see? It's all yours honey."

Malcom tears the condom with his teeth, it was hot. You weren't even going to lie about that, but seeing how he was rolling the condom on his cock made you feel dissapointed— you wanted to feel everything, his cock and his cum. You wanted to know how much he could shove inside you before it was too much.

"Ah... C-Can you not wear the condom?"

He looked back with a bit of confusion.

"Hm? Didn't you but this..?"

"Y-Yeah but, i— I want you to fill me."

Something seemed to have snapped inside of Malcom, he let out a small chuckle and dove back to your lips, giving it a rushed kiss.

"I'll fill you to the brim, don't worry baby.. "

He pulls the condom out his cock, throwing it the the side in favor of lining his leaking tip at your gaping hole. Malcom grabbed your thighs and pushed your knees to your chest, letting your cock lay pathetically on your stomach. You sucked in a deep breath as he slowly pushed his cock in.

You let out a shrilled moan, throwing your head back against the sheets of the bed while Malcom had leaned to connect your lips to his, trying to distract you from the hissing pain that was your asshole.

"Relax baby, it'll be in soon.. "

He kept kissing your lips, as you had wrapped your arms round his shoulders, clawing at his back. You would feel bad if it weren't for the incredible feeling of his cock filling your body, it was big—so big.

After a few minutes, you could Malcom's movements stop.

"It's in— m'gonna move now, alright baby?"

"haa—o-okay.."

Malcom's thrust were slow at first, which made you gasp and moan whenever he penetrated in. After a while his pace began quicker, making his cock go deeper and deeper in you.

"S-Shit, you're tight— fuck, you feel heavenly."

You could only cry out, as his cock moved deeper in, feeling every push that rush all the way to your throat. Both of you sweating, panting, and moaning about how good it felt.

His eyes glued onto yours, never breaking eye contact, his hair sticking slightly to his face as he caged you beneath his arms, this was like a fantasy. His cock was moving in and out as he whispered praises to you.

"You're so beautiful, fuck."

And—

"C-can't believe—shit— you were hiding such a sexy body away from me, hun. Not gonna stop until your filled and full, alright?—"

This bastard, acting like he could just say shit like that without making your heart drum. Malcom had kept thrusting his hips, chasing his climax just as much you craved to be stuffed full of his cum.

After a few more thrusting he came, strings of his thick warm cum filling you— to the point where it leaked out of you. But Malcom kept this thrusting, shoving his cum inside whilst latching his lips into yours.

Along with his cum, you came with him, your cum spraying pathetically on your stomach as it went limp.

And finally— he stops, using his cock to plug his cum inside, preventing it to spill out of you. You were full, the feeling of the warm liquid sitting inside your hole as his cock remained inside, you would die from this if you could.

You were both left panting, trying to catch your breath before he grins back down at you.

"How about another round, baby?"

You sipped the mug of coffee that your boyfriend had left you, even leaving a note as a good morning. He had only left a bit ago but he was planning to stay inside the dorm with you to have a date night. You couldn't wait.

A sudden ringing interrupted your thoughts, you checked to see your phone— it was Sofie.

"I should probably thank her.. "

You answered the call and pressed your phone to your ear.

"Yo, [Name]! Hopefully your fuck session went well, I heard it all the way next door! "

"Sofie I'm going to fucking kill you."

✩꙳I hope you enjoyed that! I had never wrote sex scenes before so I hope I did well~

-> Feel free to request more! Be as detailed as you'd like.

[coquettepascal]

texas sweet

summary: joel is your friendly neighborhood dad of the year, so why is his driveway empty on father's day? better yet, why do you feel the need to make up for everyone elses absence?

tags: 18+, smut, handjob, desc of joel mastubrating, a "massage", neighbor!joel x f!reader, massages, general cheesiness, soft!joel, pathetic!joel, almost(?) sub!joel, reader gets blueballed (sorry), biting, joel whimpering, joel being a proud girl dad, no-outbreak, ellie and sarah exist, tommy is mentioned(!!), joel is a southern gentleman, mention of reader having parents, no desc of reader but she can fit between joel and the couch, dilf!joel (yum)

-> part. ii here!

a/n: my first joel fic ever... i would like to thank every person who has written no-outbreak!joel or pre-outbreak!joel. i freaked it.

texas sweet masterlist and my masterlist

(4.9k, not beta read.)

Moving to Texas was not the plan, or even the “blessing” your mother claimed it would be. Being the one who took over your grandparents home after they moved to a seniors facility? Fantastic! Amazing, even. Leaving your job, friends, and boyfriend, back home? Horrible. Heart wrenching and annoying. 

Austin, for the most part, was lonely. Long distance didn’t end up working between you and your boyfriend, your friends just got busier with their jobs, and it wasn’t like your parents could just drive 14 hours to see you every weekend. Co-workers were nice, but honestly who really wants to hang out with people you already spend 40 hours a week with? Maybe you were jaded, or picky, which was what your mother also claimed, or maybe your whole life was uprooted for what felt like no reason.

What you weren’t picky about, was the view from your bedroom window. You’re not a peeping tom, or a perv, but it isn’t your fault that your dilf-y next door neighbor is so easy on the eyes.

No, moving to Austin was not a blessing, but Joel Miller was.

Joel was the neighborhood guy. Need an oil change? Joel. Need your fence fixed? Joel. Block party? Joel’s yard. It’s like he doesn’t know how to say no to anybody, that southern politeness deeper than the drawl that lies in his voice. When you had first moved here he had helped you move your couch through the door, all smiles and polite nods. He barely introduced himself before he was asking if you needed any help, and he had called you “young lady,” which made you giggle. Such a giving man, but of course he was. A single father to two daughters? “No” wasn't in his vocabulary.

Sometimes, you think if your dad was as good a father as Joel Miller was, maybe you wouldn’t be fiending after him with such ferocity. Watching him with his two girls, Sarah and Ellie, was something that tugged your heartstrings no matter what. Sarah wasn’t around a lot anymore, apparently she went away to a fancy college. You had helped her pack all her stuff into Joel’s truck, but quickly went inside when you saw him getting misty eyed, you didn't want to embarrass the poor guy. Ellie is younger than Sarah and still lives at home. Honestly, you didn’t know much about her apart from the fact that she was adopted and that she’s in high school. She’s always happy to chat, but she’s also always going somewhere, which leaves Joel lonely sometimes. 

Joel seems better suited for loneliness than you are though. His brother Tommy comes around pretty often, though they seem fairly opposite. Tommy truly is sweet, has always chatted with you during block parties (even if it may be for nefarious reasons when he’s had too many drinks,) but he looks like… a fuckboy. Without fail, every time he rolls up to Joel’s house, he’s blasting some shitty new country music and wearing Pit Viper sunglasses as he carefully parks his spotless truck. Despite their differences though, they get along just as well. Your summer evenings are often interrupted by the sound of their laughs and the crisp sound of the two cracking open some cold ones. 

So why is it that when Father’s day rolls around, Joel’s driveway is empty?

You aren’t watching on purpose, you just happen to glance over that way a lot. The only action you see from his house is Ellie leaving for her friend's house sometime after noon, like usual on a Sunday. No signs of Sarah or Tommy. Part of you figured that maybe Sarah would make the lengthy drive down from her school, or maybe that Tommy would show up at some point, but nobody does. 

‘Not creepy,’ you assure yourself as you go upstairs to peer through your bedroom window to see if anyone is there. You could totally look through the kitchen window that directly faces his backyard, but you fear the day he’s looking right back at you. 

Looking outside, you see nothing. Joel’s grey-blue truck sits unmoved in the driveway, his plants are watered though so you guess he came outside at some point. The thought makes you feel a bit sad, the image of Joel and his soft eyes watering the plants, whistling to himself and trying to tell himself it doesn’t matter that nobody came. He probably really doesn’t care at all, a lot of men aren’t very sentimental or emotional about days like this, but you care.

He’s a good man, a good father, and a good neighbor. Seeing him be underappreciated on what is basically his day is ticking you off for some stupid reason. When 3pm rolls around you decide that you have to do something for Joel, it feels wrong not to. 

Which is how you end up in line for the register at Home Depot. You sat in the parking lot for 10 minutes racking your brain, trying to think of things that guys like, but came up with nothing. Joel is a contractor, so he’ll probably find some use out of a 50 dollar Home Depot gift card, but it still feels too impersonal. Joel literally fixed your toilet when a date you took home broke the handle off the tank mid-vomit. He’s too nice to just hand a stupid gift card with “Happy Father’s day” scrawled across the mini paper envelope. He deserves something thoughtful, something gentler than a gift card for (probably) his job. 

…Which is how you end up waiting in line for the register at the supermarket. You have a bouquet of flowers in your hand, with a Home Depot gift card shoved in your jacket pocket. It feels utterly ridiculous to give Joel Miller flowers, to pick out which colours you think he’d like and get the florist to wrap them up neatly with a bow, but you have a good reason. At some point in the past week you had seen a post about how a lot of men never receive flowers. It resurfaced in your head as you picked your brain again, making you wonder if Joel had ever received flowers. You know that he was married once, but that was when Sarah was little, it’d probably been 10 or even 15 years since he had any gestures like that made for him.

Not that this was for romance reasons. It was for father’s-appreciation-day reasons. Of course.

Maybe you shouldn’t be so invested in your neighbors emotions and life, but it’s too late now. You carefully pack away the flowers in the back seat of your car, snuggling the gift card into the ribbon that holds the flowers together. 

—

And if you thought that standing in line at Home Depot, or at the supermarket was bad, it’s so much worse trying to work up the courage to knock on Joel’s front door. You can’t figure out how to hold this bouquet of flowers behind your back without dropping them, so you just awkwardly knock on his door with one hand, flowers in the other. At least the gift card is managing to stay in place where you tucked it, but you wish you told the florist not to write his name in cursive.

Your repeating thoughts of “Is this weird? Am I weird?” are interrupted when he opens the door.

Joel looks… normal. He doesn’t look sad like you thought he might, if anything he looks more confused at you being there. His brown hair is tousled slightly and he’s wearing pajama pants, even though he smells fresh. Joel’s eyes meet yours and he tilts his head quietly, as if waiting for you to go on, but what do you even say? Oh shit that’s right–

“Happy father’s day,” your voice comes out shyly. You shove the flowers at him a little abruptly and he blinks in surprise, accepting them. It’s awkward for a second, the way his eyebrows shoot up as he notices the cursive lettering of his name written on the envelope.

“These’re for me, darlin’?” He asks curiously, still looking over the flowers.

A stammering of “um” and “yeah” leave your mouth pretty quickly and he smiles. You’re pretty sure he says thank you, but you just kind of stare at him awkwardly. A beat passes between the two of you as he admires the gift. “You uh– You don’t think of me as your dad, do you?” Joel asks. Oh fuck. You hadn’t thought about the fact that maybe that was what he would take away from this. All of your thoughts had been consumed by worries that he’d think you were trying to hit on him, but here he was thinking that you thought of him as a father figure. Which you didn’t. Your dad is fine, no need to replace him, at least not at this point. 

“No, no. Oh my god– Sorry,” You choke out, half laughing. It’s a quiet moment on the porch for a second, just the two of you standing there. Maybe you should explain your thought process.

“It’s just that you’re a dad and like– not to sound like a weirdo freak but nobody’s been at your house all day and it made me sad for you. Not that I pity you but,” your voice trails off as you fear you’ve made this worse. Joel seems a bit surprised at this, mouth opening slightly but then transitioning to a soft smile.

“And what if I told you that I wanted everyone t’leave me alone today?” He asks you slyly. And oh god, that is so much worse than him mistaking this gesture for flirting or pity. You never would have thought that maybe the guy who does everything for everyone probably just wants to be left the hell alone for a gift. Your heart drops in your chest, taking all the blood in your face with it. Embarrassment floods you with a force you didn’t realize possible, stuttered apologies leaving your lips as fast as you can. Joel shakes his head, laughing quietly as you sputter “sorry” repeatedly, like a broken sprinkler.

“I’m jokin’, sweetheart. I appreciate this,” he says. The crows' feet by his eyes shouldn’t be as charming as they are, but combined with that rumbling laugh and smile… he could get away with anything. He plucks the Home Depot gift card from the ribbon and huffs a laugh, like he’s impressed.

Well that’s… something? It made him smile right? Maybe feeling bad for Joel was better than feeling stupid in front of him. You step back, towards the stairs of his porch, but he shakes his head. “You were really this worried?” He asks, admiring the flowers. That makes your heart bloom in your chest, seeing how much he really liked this. Joel didn’t seem much like a flower guy, but you saw the way he kept his yard neat, with tulips in the spring and his lawn trimmed squarely. Shyly, you nod in response to his question. It feels silly to worry for him like this, you don’t know if he considers you a friend the way he is in your head.

“S’awful sweet,” he tells you. Something about his presence is so big, a balance of hospitality and intimidation all at once. Maybe it’s his big stature, broad shoulders and thick arms, a body built for work. Or his voice, the strong timbre of it, humbled in southern twang. Joel is a force of warmth, a heat that can’t be contained. His heart shines through his golden skin, forcing whoever he looks at to have a spotlight. That’s where the intimidation lies, in how he makes you feel like there’s a halo over your head, all his attention right there. 

He’s so hot you don’t even want him to look at you.

But there he is anyways, smiling as he admires the gift again, dorkily leaning in to dramatically huff the flowers. His mouth is moving but you're deafened by the sensation of a blush on your face. You thought it was just a silly little crush, because who wouldn’t find Joel attractive. He’s handsome, hard working, and just an all around traditional man. But this attraction… It's like your crush on him has given you tinnitus. His lips are moving and you aren’t registering the words. Wait shit, he’s speaking–

“Darlin’?” Joel calls. He looks at you, head tilted, and still fucking smiling. The way his eyes glimmer, the crows feet that squeeze them into a smile… Why is it so hard to hear him?

“I asked if you wanted to come in,” he repeats. 

—

You’ve never been inside Joel’s house, but you’d never thought about it either. Being in it, now, it all makes sense. Photos of his daughters are framed everywhere, their achievements plastered on the walls in shines of silver and gold. It’s hard not to imagine Joel hunched over his kitchen counter, tediously cutting pictures out to place them in frames. He was only an idea before, an idea of a man, and now he has become one wordlessly. All it took was stepping inside his house, smelling him everywhere. Life dances in the jackets that are tossed over dining room chairs, the toolbelt dumped by the shoe rack at the door. The picture of Joel you held in your mind begins to come alive, the movements in the details of his life stealing your breath. He is more than a good man, he is a great one.

And now, you have to strike up a conversation with him.

Joel grunts as he sits down on the couch beside you, placing two glasses of water down. He places his glass in front of the can of beer sitting on a coaster, distorting the label to nothing but warped blue and red. Is he hiding that he was drinking? Why is that cute? 

A pause hushes both of you as Joel gets comfortable, sitting down. He’s paused a show, but it just looks like it was whatever movie was playing on the local TV channel. 

“You must be so proud of them,” you say, eyes glazing over the pictures of Sarah and Ellie. You can tell exactly which photos were taken with a camera and which were taken with his phone. One picture of Ellie, maybe when she was 13 or 14, is from her soccer tournament. She’s smiling, holding up a ribbon for MVP, and Joel’s thumb is in the bottom corner. It’s strange to realize that Joel has basically been a father twice over, but also admirable. 

He talks for a little while, rambling about Sarah and her time up at college, and also how Ellie has been doing better in school this year. You always had a feeling Ellie was a bit feistier than Sarah was, but to hear how proud Joel is of her anyways makes your heart flutter. His love for them was so unconditional, so why weren’t they here today? You ask him, a half smile crossing his lips as he hears your question.

“Sarah called me ‘round lunchtime, one of them video calls. Had lunch with my girl and got to catch up with her. She’s so damn busy, y’know that? Always studying and,” he catches his breath, realizing he’s blabbing again. A reddish tone creeps up his neck in embarrassment.

“Point is, she called. Was nice of her, I miss her lots,” He finishes quietly.

Your eyebrow raises. He didn’t mention Ellie. Joel huffs.

“I’m 99% sure she’s over at Dina’s making me a gift, but it’s fine that she forgot. I’ve been on her ass about homework, fair’s fair.”

He looks cute when he’s begrudging, one side of his mouth sliding to the side so part of his cheek puffs over it. You nod, making a comment in response. The conversation is so smooth you forget what you’re saying as soon as you’re laughing. 

This is easier than you thought it would be. Joel’s always been friendly, obviously, but you just assumed he would be more closed off than this. Even if it’s just rambling about his daughters, or Tommy, or the jobs he’s been managing and how annoying his clients are, it’s something more. Something more than the passing glances and small conversation you’ve had before.

You talk a bit about your own life, how tough the move to Texas was, how lonely it can be. Joel doesn’t seem as receptive to this, but there’s an understanding in his eyes that you can feel. He’s a tough clam to slide your knife into, and you doubt you’ll feel his tongue today. The eager blabber he has for his family and career doesn’t extend to himself, and it seems you’ve hit a wall with him. Or maybe you’ve hit too close to home. “Sorry,” you say, feeling a little weird. 

This whole day has felt like you’re pulling against a lead Joel wasn’t even holding in the first place, like you’re always doing too much. But just like the rest of the day, he isn’t holding the rope around your neck. He’s surging forward with reassurances blooming out of his mouth, Texas sweet to the bone. 

He shakes his head, telling you that it’s fine, he gets it. A joke about being a single father, a smile directed at you, consoling. Vaporub for your congested anxieties.

“I’m sorry darlin,” Joel starts, and fuck is he sending you home? Is that your cue to leave? You did too much, he was just being nice.

“-- I didn’t even offer you water when you came in. D’you need somethin’ to drink?” He asks.

God, doesn’t he get tired of being this nice? Your neighbors warned you that he was a grump when you first moved here, dirty liars. 

“Oh, sure, uh. Water would be good, thanks,” you reply.

You’re only half paying attention to the grunt he lets out when he gets up the first time, your eyes busying themselves with the way his cotton tee stretches across the muscled planes of his back. But, after he hands you the glass of water and groans when he sinks back into the couch, you notice. 

You down the glass like you’re parched, but really your mouth just needs to be full right now. The sound of his groans are bouncing in your ear canals as your neck flushes red with each gulp of water. If he notices, he doesn’t say anything.

“Bad back?” You ask after you catch your breath. 

He hums in response, talking about how it comes with the job he has. “All that lifting in my early years…” as if he’s a thousand years old. Joel mentions that he’s been to the chiropractor a few times, thanks to Sarah’s begging and pleading.

“I don’t know, I think it’s gimmicky. They get you on the table and the guy feelin’ you up acts like he’s Christ himself,” Joel says, rolling his eyes. 

The idea of Joel, shirtless and face down, grumbling as some guy works his hands over his skin. The idea of Joel groaning in relief as someone else works those knots out, God you wish you were a chiropractor, you wish you could put your hands all over him.

Greed hardens over your mind like a shell, and the words tumble out of your mouth before you can stop them.

“I could– I could help, maybe. My dad used to have a pretty bad back and I kinda figured out how to work knots out.”

Joel’s eyes widen, looking over to you with mild interest. For the first time today, around Joel, you don’t feel like you’ve overstepped. In fact he looks interested in this offer. A beat passes between the two of you, hesitation caught in his throat it seems.

It’s probably super fucked up in his head, his younger neighbor coming over and offering to rub him down. But your mind is still greedy, coated in thoughts of his skin under your palms, and that southern rumble that’s given you dilf earworms.

He looks like he’s about to say no when you speak again.

“You don’t even have to lay down, or take your shirt off. Could just lift it up,” you offer. 

Joel still looks like he’s going to say no, the left side of his mouth raising to make up some reason. You can’t let him, not when you’ve been this ballsy. Walking out of here now would make this infinitely more awkward.

“It’s your day, Joel,” you supply him with a reason to say yes. The reason might be silly, might be a last minute add-on to his father’s day, but who cares.

Apparently not Joel, since he pulls his shirt up to his shoulders, the fabric scrunching around his broad frame.

—

You feel a little stupid, slotted behind Joel on the couch. The two of you are basically shoved up against one another, Joel wriggling to give you access to his lower back. He hasn’t said anything yet, no reassurance that this backrub is any good. You think you’re doing well, you feel the knots loosening. It might be better this way, him not making noise. The groan you heard earlier was more than enough to push you into a frenzy.

Your hands work further down, where his waist begins to pull in. Looking closer you can see where the softness of his tummy is, a fatherly badge of honor. Continuing your movements, you gently press your thumbs into the flesh there, and earn yourself Joel’s first noise.

Not a grunt, groan, complaint, or cuss. A whimper.

Your voice clashes with his, both of you talking over each other accidentally.

“Are you okay–” you ask as his voice flounders again, a “Darlin--” leaving him out of his own volition.

Pulling your hands away you begin to pull his shirt back down his back, mortified. How could you claim you were good at this and then hurt his back more? Joel’s been through enough today.

“Please don’t stop,” Joel’s voice grabs your brain again, forcing your focus.

He’s sliding his shirt up again, just by rolling his shoulders as he hunches over, waiting for you to continue. His face is in his hands, and his ears are pink. It’s the first time he’s asked you for anything tonight, you can’t refuse him. 

Placing your hands back where they were, you begin to massage again. It seems like his lower back is the main problem, with the way he’s grunting into his palms. As your hands work away the aches he begins to swear to himself. 

“Fuck,” he grunts as your thumbs dig deep, soothing a pain he hasn’t felt eased in years. 

This is good. Pride spreads in your chest, knowing he feels better. Your hands work away, and you get laser focused on untangling these massive knots in his back. Eventually you break your focus, switching to softer rubs and small scratches up and down his back.

Tearing your eyes away from his skin, you realize the throw pillow that was beside you earlier is gone. The yellow corner of the cushion peeks at you from where you saw Joel’s belly earlier, over his lap. A thick forearm is crushing it into himself there, the veins in his neck pulsing. 

Flames lick up your face, onto the tips of your ears and down your neck, heating your spine. Is he aroused right now? “Joel?” You ask quietly. 

He shakes his head, voice tight.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Just– it just feels nice,” he admits.

Your hands pause. Okay, so he’s admitted he’s hard. What do you do now? Keep rubbing his back and blueball the poor guy? On Father's day? That seems mean, and awkward. Everything about this is awkward though, so it couldn’t really get worse.

“I could… I could help it feel better,” you offer meekly.

You’re not scared of a dick. You aren’t. Your voice is quiet because it seems like he is horribly ashamed of this, probably feeling guilty.

Joel rubs a hand over his face.

“You don’t have to, you can just go,” he says, but his voice betrays him. Need is sewn in his tone, a desperation.

Part of you wonders how long it’s been since someone touched him like this as you reach around, palming the front of his jeans. The hiss he lets out tells you it’s been awhile. How wrong that is, an attractive man like Joel being forced to get his own rocks off.

Getting the button and fly of his jeans down is difficult when you can’t see, even worse when your brain is making up images of Joel masturbating. He’s so shy when he’s being touched, does he bite his sheets? Bite his other fist in the shower? Poor boy, he deserves this. 

His hips lift off the couch to help you shove his jeans and briefs down. Joel’s bare ass slides against you and he cringes. “Is it okay if you don’t look?” He asks. 

You hate that he seems so insecure, but you’re not going to push him. Nodding into his skin, you press your face to his back, resting your cheek near the blade of his shoulder. He’s heavy in your palm, warm skin with veins your fingers can trace over.

Telling him that he’s big feels redundant, you’re sure he knows that about himself. Neither of you seem very sure about what you’re doing, the shuddering breaths from his chest matching your hesitant grasp around his cock. 

“Are you okay?” You ask again.

Joel nods into his hand, asking you to please touch him. 

Admittedly, it’s a dry hand job, but Joel doesn’t seem to mind. The flick of your wrist is fluid, even if your arm is cramping from being wrapped around him. Joel lets out these little noises, grunts and whines. His hand is covering his eyes while the other one rests lightly on your forearm, like he wants to know that you’re still there.

Need is exuding from him, making his desperation take over his need to really give a shit about how submissive he might be appearing. He shudders particularly hard as you squeeze on the upstroke, voice choking.

“Shit– shit, please,” he gasps, “please can I spit in your hand?” 

It’s a little surprising, but again, you can’t refuse him. You say “yeah” into his skin, closing your eyes as you feel him spit into your hand. It’s filthy, his saliva on you as he guides your hand to jerk him off. Joel uses your palm to slick the head of his dick, teasing himself on your skin.

It’s the first time you’ve seen him be selfish all day. Part of you wants to call him a good boy, but part of you also knows this might not be normal for Joel. Hell, this isn’t normal for you either. 

Instead, you ask him if it’s good. A rasped “yes,” emanates from him between a low groan and a curse. Your head lifts from his back as he begins to shudder, his orgasm creeping closer. Listening to him is so good, you’re a mess between your legs, where your core nudges his ass.

Without a thought, you sink your teeth into the meat between his shoulder and his neck. Not enough pressure to bruise or hurt, just to let him know you’re there. There was no intention to push him over the edge, but your little bite does. A guttural groan is forced out of him as he comes into your hand, stringing sticky between your fingers. 

“Fuck– fuck I’m sorry, oh my god,” he pants, shivering. 

Your head is shaking again, reassuring him that it was okay, that he’s okay. 

“It’ll wash off,” you joke, feeling the stick of him on you. 

—

Joel does help you wash it off, once he’s done redressing. He’s clingy though, arms around your waist and chin hooked over your shoulder as you wash your hands in his kitchen sink. He’s definitely sleepy, eyes blinking slowly when you peek at him while you dry your hands.

You step close to him, your damp hands meeting his dry ones. The awkward spirit of the evening has been killed off, his shyness melted away.

“Usually I’d offer to return the favor but… I have to pick up Ellie from her friend’s house now. I’m really sorry, darlin’,” he admits.

Shaking your head, you push away the negative feeling that surfaces. How are you supposed to go back to being neighbors after that? But also, what did you really expect?

Joel leads you to the door, legs a bit shakey. A smug feeling joins the negative ones in your chest at that, but it’s not enough. 

“I really do apologize,” Joel says again, “but this just gives me an opportunity to see you again. If you’d like, obviously. I think I owe ya dinner.” 

And there he is, not holding your lead but reassuring your heart. He wants to see you again.

Your eyes meet his in the dim light of the hallway, catching those sweet eyes in your own. He looks so hopeful, so apologetic too.

“I’d like that, but you don’t owe me anything. It’s Father’s day,” you point out. 

Joel rolls his eyes. This Father’s day excuse is a little overused between the two of you now, but it’s still cute to him since you’re the one saying it. He opens the door for you, slipping his own boots on and grabbing his keys.

“Fine,” Joel says, “but when Pretty Neighbor day rolls around, you let me know.

[specialgradefckr]

a thought.

satoru gojo doesn't belong to you. he doesn't even belong to himself.

he's a weapon, a tool, a teacher and guardian - he doesn't have time to be yours, even if he wanted to.

but this one could.

he looks good, for having been grown in a test tube for twenty months.

a clone. your very own personal satoru gojo. just for you and no one else.

he's born in the lab, a fully grown adult, and you teach him everything he needs to know about life.

when he's hungry, you feed him.

when he's cold, you hold him.

when he's bored, you entertain him.

when he's sad, you delight him.

for this satoru gojo, the world begins and ends with you.

he's never known life outside the private lab beneath your home. after weeks of good behavior, you let him sleep with you in your room.

he never says no. doesn't know what it is. you've never told him no (granted, his requests are always vague, and you fulfill them however you please), so it doesn't exist in his mind.

so when you teach him how to make you feel good - guide him to his knees, between your legs, holding his face against your cunt - this satoru gojo learns eagerly, with all the unrestrained passion and dedicated of a virgin with his longtime crutch.

the first words you taught him to say were "i love you", after all.

at first, he was sort of like a parrot - repeating after you, confused, hesitant forming words.

but quickly enough, his true nature shone through. even with a limited vocabulary, he would tease - "those are called glasses." "glasses?" "yes - satoru! give them back!" - and his appetite for mischief and self-satisfaction were ever-present.

but even with his nature, there was always nurture to gently adjust him.

you'd leave him alone for hours without explanation, even when he could grasp language enough to understand one. always returning with a treat, with a smile and a kiss.

there was food for him when you were gone, and water. but it's bland, unappetizing stuff. he is satoru, after all. still craving sweets.

you were the only person he's ever interacted with. the only person he ever will.

your presence meant food, companionship, entertainment. your absence meant loneliness, boredom, hunger.

you are everything good in his life. you gave him this life. it's only right that he spends it with you.

it's not that satoru minds, after all. he seems to love eating you out, training session after training session leading him to slide to his knees beside you more often than not. bright blue eyes twinkling up at you while he paws at your waistband.

and you're not a selfish lover, not by any means. once you've conditioned him to only cum when you're present, you're very generous with his orgasms.

it took a while. a specialized device - unremovable cockring - and some porn left around for him to peruse curiously.

but soon enough, you'd caught him, red-faced and stressed, unable to find his release. diligently, over many weeks, you'd taught his body that the only real pleasure was you. your touch, your voice, your love.

this is your satoru gojo. he shouldn't want anything but you. he shouldn't get off to anything but you.

you are his sun and stars, his planet, his gravity holding him to earth, the air he breathes, the life that sustains him, his whole universe.

it's all worth it, to come back to him after an outing. bright-faced and smiling and trembling just a little bit in relief.

when he holds you at night extra tightly, like he's terrified you'll slip out of his arms while he sleeps.

it's intoxicating. euphoric.

you try not to leave too often. but absence makes the heart grow fonder. can't have him taking you for granted.

in fact, that's the only punishment that ever seems to work on him, when he's acting out, and a stern correction doesn't do it.

it's not often, but sometimes he'd whine incessantly about getting his way, as if what he wanted mattered. as if you didn't love him more than anything already. as if you didn't go out of your way to give him everything, including his own life.

maybe he wanted to have sex that day, instead of just masturbating for you. maybe he was getting bored of eating you out for hours. maybe he just wanted to hurry up and cum.

all of these were normal, expected ways for satoru gojo to behave at first. but you'd trained them out of him.

if he was so bored, if he didn't like what you wanted, then he could stay here by himself.

you'd leave discreetly, distracting him with an instruction or an excuse about getting something. and then you'd turn off the breaker so the lights in the basement were out.

and then you'd go. spend hours away from home.

every time you spent a different amount of time away. letting him stew in it. letting him wait for you. wait, and wonder if you were really coming back this time.

it was painful. you didn't create him just to neglect him like this.

but it needs to be done. he had to understand that being without you is utter, abject misery.

this had the side effect of turning him into a clingy menace. which was terribly endearing - he always wanted to have a hand on you, or to sit next to you, or to be touching you somehow.

those beautiful eyes nervously glancing at you every now and then - it's the prettiest thing you've ever seen.

with him clinging to you, of course, you have to adjust his punishments. if a training session isn't going well, you slip something into his next meal.

when he awakens, he's tied up. all alone in a well-lit, padded room.

by the time you open the door, he's teary-eyed, nose red from sniffling, throat sore from screaming. he leans into your fingers in his hair, closing his eyes, shuddering and sighing in utter bliss.

satoru always behaves better after that. you tell him, calmly, what you hope he'll improve on, and he always does. your clever boy.

your perfect boy. your satoru gojo, homemade, hand-raised, yours and yours alone. happy to be yours.

he's improved so much. he really is nearly perfect.

affectionate - almost overbearingly so, but that suits you. he's attentive, so well in tune with your moods. satoru really is so very observant when he wants to be.

he can make you cum in under thirty seconds - there's your quick learner! you feel like a proud teacher, sometimes.

and he loves you. of course he loves you. you make him feel good, you kiss him goodnight, you always make sure he knows exactly how happy he makes you.

he's not unlike a pet who loves you unconditionally and wants to be with you constantly. a particularly clever pet, even, who sometimes gets... ideas.

what you're working on now is a complicated case. satoru's a healthy young man, and he spends all his time with you, who he's attracted to - so he gets erections fairly often.

your conditioning has led him to expect sexual activity... well, relatively frequently. after all, he can't cum on his own. it doesn't help that he always wants to be touching you, next to you, holding you.

the task now is for him to become aroused only when you are aroused. it'll take time - and patience - and lots and lots of punishments. but smaller ones, easier ones.

you're content with this. perfection is a state of mind, after all. there will always be something to improve on.

if you don't have anything to punish him for, satoru might start to think he's perfect. he might realize that you won't stop loving him, for any reason. he might get sloppy.

what if he thinks he can leave?

it's something that keeps you up at night, sometimes. you try not to let it, really. satoru never falls asleep first. you've never seen him sleep at all outside your arms, actually.

you're particularly tired, this night, though.

satoru's been so good lately, so you'd rewarded him with a new, special experience; making food together.

it had been utterly delightful, so domestic and causal, full of laughter and taste-tests and troubled recipe lookups. Is that what being a couple was supposed to be like?

you think you could get used to that.

you try to say something, but your mouth is especially dry. satoru, the darling creature that he is, has water at the ready for you.

the thanks, too, can't come out of your mouth. your vision is darkening...

"sorry," his lovely voice hums distantly, "not sure about the dosage. i know i'm larger than you, so it should be a bit less..."

the words stand out to you. dosage. a bit less.

but very soon, your world goes dark, and all you hear before that is -

"you're never leaving me again."

[4chensungs]

don’t kiss and tell

brothers best friend!jisung x fem. reader

after the incident of your brother finding out you hooked up with one of his friends, you promised to yourself to never look out for him anymore. but who says he’ll give up on you that easily?

wc. 2.8k

warnings. smut (mdni), jisung is down bad, body worship like crazy in here, tit sucking, fingering, ass slapping, unprotected sex

part 1 for context here <3

IT HAS BEEN one whole month since you last talked to jisung. one month since you saw him probably for the last time in a hot minute.

the last few weeks have been extremely unusual; you keep questioning yourself how was he doing, if he's even ever going to appear at your house again to hang out with you brother, like he always did. he's probably not.

and fuck jaemin, fuck him for screwing your bond with him. it's useless, pure jealousy and he's so stupid!, stupid for being this mad with one if his best friends of years, simply because he thinks you're still a child.

on the other hand, jisung is being not so subtle in the way he still wants you. he keeps liking the pics you post on your instagram stories, sometimes even replying to them. and it's the sad fact you're not giving him a single reply.

his mind wanders to the thought of you being already completely over him, wanting to distance yourself fully right now, thanks to your brother.

but your heart knows that's not what you want, and it keeps giving you a warning that the next time that you see him, these feelings will come back stronger than ever.

you miss him. so bad, thinking about him makes you sick.

you're laying in bed, scrolling quietly through your phone when the damn notification appears. why does he keep trying? you sigh out loud.

the__and.y liked your stories.

you ran your hands through your hair, turning off your phone to stare at the ceiling to collect your breath. you can't, your brother is still furious with both of you.

jisung ♡: why do u keep ignoring me in every existing social media

is he really going to do this? at this late at night?

jisung ♡: i miss you

you kept reading his messages and not replying. you didn't contact him for a month.

maybe, just maybe, things may have gotten lighter with jaemin. perhaps he's not really remembering this whole thing, yeah?

you: i'm sorry jisung

you: idk if this is right i really don't know

you: im confused

you turn off your phone again while waiting for his reply. let's give it a try.

jisung ♡: why wouldn't it be right

jisung ♡: jaemin can't control your life, you can do whatever you want

hm.

you: i felt bad that day and he's still so mad with you

you: idc if he's mad with me, he's my brother at the end of the day

you: i worry about you and how hes fucked up your friendship

jisung ♡: baby you know what's fucked up

jisung ♡: you trying to convince yourself that you don't want this because of him

jisung ♡: say to my face that you don't want it

you want this so fucking bad. to be in his arms again, and the thrill of being with him behind closed doors. god, that's all you want in every way.

you: ji

you: i want to see you

jisung ♡: that's right

jisung ♡: i've waited for this princess

jisung ♡: waited so long

you: i need you

you: i don't care anymore

you really don't give a fuck - your brother can hold his protectiveness instinct for himself, he actually can. you can't control what your heart aims for.

and it screams for park jisung.

"you can't ignore him forever, you know that?"

"who says I'm ignoring him? I texted him yesterday saying he should come this weekend." jaemin huffed, acting oblivious to the fact that the only reason why he invited jisung over was because of the boys' annual end of year party.

chenle deadpans at him with his stare, letting out a chuckle, "if you didn't invite him I would've done it myself." he paused, turning his head to look at the man, "that would be bullshit."

bullshit. jaemin swore he almost threw chenle out of the car in the harshest way possible - clicking his tongue in pure annoyance, "yeah, it was just fine when he fucked my sister behind my back."

"i'm pretty sure they did not fuck."

if you didn't then why were you both half naked. in his car. at your backyard?

"i'm telling you, I saw it. she was literally on top of him and she was fucking moaning his name, chenle. that's fucking wrong." your brother spat while still not looking at his friend - eyes focused on the road.

chenle keeps going, "cut this off, jaem. you can't see her as a baby anymore. let her live."

jisung is indeed coming to your house again - sooner than you thought. but it did take some days for you to find out, tho. you brother wasn't the one who told you.

in the same day, the last messages jisung sent you before you went to sleep.

jisung ♡: dress up prettily for me tomorrow

jisung ♡: will you?

you: what??

you: you're coming???

jisung ♡: jaemin told me to go and yeah i didn't expect it as well

jisung ♡: dreaming of you again

jisung ♡: kissing your sweet lips holding you so close to me

jisung ♡: it'll be all mine princess

you: go to sleep ji

you: silly

jisung ♡: i'll show you what's silly tomorrow

—

the sound of the boys laughing and loud pitching talking in the living room did quite mess with your head, anticipating the moment when he comes. it's crazy how you got so dolled up for him only, he's the reason why you're even going out of your room this night.

if it wasn't for jisung, you'd probably just greet the guys and come back to your own quiet place, drowning in your thoughts, alone. just like you always used to do before he appeared in your life.

a knock was heard on your door just right after you finished your makeup. unexpectedly, you meet a very tipsy jaemin.

"what the fuck is this outfit?" he spats, crossing his arms in front of his chest - his body unbalanced. for a split second, you closed your eyes and thanked all the existing Gods under your breath. he's drunk.

you smiled, "felt pretty today. you smell like beer, don't talk to me."

"hey, hey, hey." he grabbed your arm before you could close the door and kick him out, "come say hello to my friends. don't be rude."

you fixed your hair and outfit and went to the living room, being find with chenle, jeno and donghyuck's figures sat around the big table, nestled with all the different kinds of drinks and alcohol.

your breath hitched when jisung was nowhere to be found.

after greeting the guys, you decided to wait in your room - not sure on how, or when will jisung get there and you'll finally get to release all of your wants. show him how much you miss him and vice versa.

not much time had passed before another knock was heard on your door. you were sprawled on bed, dim lighting decorating the ambient.

"come in."

you said that because you thought it was your brother. jisung carefully opened the door, eyes peeking first to check on you.

that scene truly felt like a movie. you slowly got up, a smile starting to pop up in your lips as you walked to him.

your voice trembling, "hi, ji."

you opened the door fully for him to enter your space, he wasted no time to step in and pull you into a hug.

a mess was happening in your head, so ridiculously dizzy from him - the masculine smell of his cologne filling your nostrils, his hands holding your body flush to him while yours gripped his black t shirt, so simple and casual but yet made him look so attractive.

or maybe that’s just because you miss him a lot.

jisung leaned away from your embrace, gently taking your hair out of your face while holding eye contact - hands flew to your hips.

"you look gorgeous. more than ever."

your arms secured their hold around his neck, feeling your cheeks burning red from his words, "just for you." you announced.

he nodded, "all for me."

you both smiled like two idiots in love as he leaned down to kiss you, mouths melting so sweet at first - tongues brushing here and there, hums being heard throughout the kiss, "so pretty in this dress." he mumbles in between.

his back hits the door as he closes it, left hand leaving your hips for a mere second just to lock it.  making absolute sure that no one will be able to interrupt.

jisung grabs a hold of your thighs to help you walk further into your room, so familiar to him.

all the times you've sneaked out, when jisung slept by and left jaemin's room in the middle of the night when he was in a deep sleep. all behind his back with so much carefulness.

when he lays you down he's quick to trail his wet kisses down to your neck, firm hands caressing your whole body, going up and down in motions.

you arch into him, playing with his black hair strands as his face rests on your chest, meanwhile his lips keeps smooching your hot skin.

you sigh in contentment, knees pressing together - trying to give him a sign that you're needy, so painfully needy for him.

"jisung i want- mhhm" your words get cut off by your own whine when his hand grabs the top of your dress to pull it down, hanging it just below your bra.

"don't want to take your dress off.. youre looking too beautiful like this." his deep voice quietly said.

you smile at his sweet comment, holding back all your whines combined with the feeling of his fingers messing with the lace of your white bra, throwing your head back with no shame when he pulls the fabric down to expose your breasts, still not taking it off your body.

"so pretty, princess. i could admire you all day."

cool air is fast to hit but it's soon replaced by jisung's hot mouth, circling your breast with his tongue, hand massaging the other while his mouth does wonders on your soft flesh.

when he reaches for your nipple you whine even louder, his saliva pooling and soaking your whole breast when he sucks it into his warm hot mouth, humming nonstop.

"you're crazy ji-jisung."

"should i stop?" he teases, leaning his mouth away from your nipple and replacing it with his finger, rubbing it.

"no for fucks sake.. but I'm trying so hard to keep quiet." your voice trembled slightly.

jisung looks at you then laughs, “they’re so wasted right now, no one’s conscious in that room, love.”

you pout at him, he softly traces your bottom lip with his thumb before kissing you again, “I promise you, it’s okay. but I need you to tell me it’s okay with you.”

his soft and caring voice did turn you on even more, it shouldn’t, but it made you wetter. eyes holding so much love and appreciation looking at yours - “I want this. I want you, ji.”

jisung smiles one more time, giving you a nod and resumed his work, mumbling a deep “fuck” under his breath when he tested the waters, hand went under your dress to feel your core.

he pulled the ends of your dress up to your stomach, your thighs ridiculously pressed together. you should be ashamed of how wet you were, but you’re not, not even a single bit.

he gives your thighs a caress, “let me spread them, hm?”

your breath hitches when he brings your knees to your chest, spreading you all open and full for him. jisung mentally coos at the scene in front of him.

just like your bra, white lace panties with a wet dark patch decorated in the middle, like a gift for him. it drove him crazy.

“did you miss me that much, princess?” you can only moan as response when he touches the wet patch with his finger before pulling the lace to the side, holding it in place with one finger, while his middle finger travels up and down your cunt.

wet, so fucking wet, “fuck. love, i might cum just by looking at this.” he cursed and cursed again, eyes wide open and looking straight at your puffy displayed cunt, so wet just for him. he knew that and so did you.

“oh fuck baby i can’t-“ jisung’s fingers spread you open to admire you better - in love, genuinely in love with how your pretty pussy shines for him, glistening and begging to suck him in.

he leans down fast enough to give your clit a quick kiss, “can’t stop thinking about how beautiful she is.” still caressing your core.

you moan his name desperately at his nasty but sweet comment, tons of whines and “jisung” ‘s leaving your mouth.

“ji please. want your fingers.” you manage to say.

“of course, gotta prep my beautiful girl.” he smiles, an expert finger circling your clit before diving down into your entrance. covered with slick, your cunt invites him just as soon.

experienced fingers pumping in and out continuously, you whine with your eyes closed at the sound of wetness.

jisung’s in complete awe, stoping his staring at your hole to kiss your face, first at the corner of your mouth, then at your lips, shutting your whines off.

“you’re perfect.” he leans away to say.

nothing’s more perfect in this world than the sensation of his long and thick fingers inside you, scissoring you and reaching the deepest and most sensitive spots ever. you’ll say that to him later.

you try to smile but you soon harshly bite your lip when he curled his two fingers inside, you yelped, “jisung! oh my god-“

he kisses you again, and again, until he’s satisfied and thinks you’re ready to take him. jisung’s fingers leave you empty, and you let out a cry - his eyes make their way to between your legs to see how you’re pulsating.

“never seen my princess this wet..” deep cocky voice says.

you reach out to take off your dress, “i’ve missed you.”

when your dress was discarded to the floor, he was quick to unbutton his jeans as they went to the same destination of your clothes.

you could see his erection through his boxers, and as much as you want to such him off right now, you’re needing him inside. now.

your panties were about to be discarded before jisung grabbed your hand and shook his head, “want them on, baby. s’ pretty. keep the bra too.”

knowing how he likes it with you, you turned around and pinned your front to the bed, arching your back and your ass in the air.

“fuck, just like that.” he pumps his cock at first, cooing you while you wait for him.

jisung’s hands flew to your back to arch it even more, then to hold your hips. he rubs the head of his dick on your entrance, how your pussy almost sucks him in just from the rubbing.

when he enters you, you let out a little too loud moan. hands clutching the sheets and tears filling your eyes.

he’s completely focused on how you keep clenching around him - the amusing view of your cunt sucking him all the way in, then out again.

your hips were pressed to his shaft, feeling him so fucking deep into your womb.

jisung coos again, “you don’t know how I’ve been dying for this.” he slaps your ass.

“jisung! jisung fuck, jisung.” you whine like a baby, lost in the pleasure. ass stinging from his big hand slap and cunt begging to be filled until you get sore.

“my love.” another slap, “fucking made just for me.”

his cock is so big and it leaves you like a babbling mess, so big that it almost hurts from how good it is, hits you in all places.

you both were getting closer, his thrusts started to get sloppier and messier, slower as he pulled away to release at your back.

your own release dripped down your pussy and thighs, while his hot cum painted your back down to your ass cheeks. what a scene.

“want them all to see this mess.. jaemin needs to see how you’re good to me.“ he admires the sight of your cunt clenching and unclenching around absolutely nothing but the air, “can’t believe you’re mine and no one can ever change that.”

you tiredly laid back on your back again, trying to fix your hair. jisung’s sweaty body joined you after tossing the dirty sheets aside, he breathes heavy, but still with that cute smile on his lips.

“do you think they heard something?.” you look up at him, voice low.

jisung thinks for a second, furrowing his brows, “i honestly don’t think so, baby. but you need to change these sheets..”

“of course i will, ji.” you laughed fondly. there’s still some questions hanging in the air, with what face will he come back to the boys?

“and if they ask you where were you this whole time and what were you doing…?”

“then i’ll just say that i was fucking the prettiest girl in the family and i don’t regret it.”

—

© 4chensungs

[onlymexsarah]

Burning Flames IIX || Eris Vanserra

Pairing: Eris Vanserra x Archeron!reader Summary: Since you became High Fae there were only two things that scared you: your deadly power and your attraction toward the male you should hate most after Tamlin, Eris Vanserra. Warnings: ANGST, mention of death, language and my english :) A/n: And she is not death! I'm talking both about me and the reader, lmao. I'm sorry for the waiting, god knows how this month had been full for me, but don't worry, even if it will take me months to finish this fic I will! I have everything planned out and I won't leave you unsatisfied🫶🏻 Let me know if you liked this chapter, what you think of the fic so far and if you want to be added at the taglist ;) Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3- Chapter 4- Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7

You were nothing and you were everything. You were drowing and you were flying. Everything felt infinite and yet so small. Darkness filled you, but a bright light seduced you to follow it.

Stay.

A voice as familiar as your soul filled the infinite, little space around your entire existence.

Come back to me.

Home. The voice was home and you had been wandering what felt like forever looking for it.

Stay a little longer. Fight to live, please.

Home was calling for you. It was guiding you away from that bright, warm light.

Please, Little Flame. Don't leave me.

Your existence smiled, and then you launched yourself toward it. You wanted to go home. There were so many things you still had to do that you remember no one of them. You could see it now, the golden string leading you home. You grabbed onto it and hold it tight. Gold erupted around you, warm hugged you, and then your entire existence burned.

***

Your niece was the most beatiful creature you had ever seen. Currently sleeping in your arms you got lost observing how the beauty of both Rhysand and Feyre had crafted that tiny, little, breathtaking child.

You had asked Rhys how to hold him without hurting his wings at least a dozen of times. They were so fragile and thin that you were afraid they could get broken even with a wrong look.

"You had wasted money on that crib, Rhys." Mor softly said, not wanting to wake up Nyx. "He'll always sleep in someone's arms."

You wanted to speak in, to joke too, but your sore throat didn't allow you. It turned out that while Eris had tried to hold back from killing you, his fire had burned part of your vocal cords, and Madja had forbidden you from speaking for at least a week.

"Poor boy," Madja had said. "he must have suffered an atrocious pain to fight the Crown and not kill you."

"He is going to be a heartbreaker with those eyes." You joked in your head, knowing that only Rhys could hear you.

The male laughed while he poured a glass of wine to Mor. "Just like his father."

You rolled your eyes playfully as Cassian entered in the living room with a serious look on his face. He approached Rhys while giving you and Mor a quick smile. "I'm going to visit Eris."

Your eyes snapped on him, your whole body going rigid. Eris. Only the name sent shivers all over your body. You hadn't seen him since you blacked out in his arms, after you stupidly, recklessy, kissed him.

The heat that rose on your face was enough to make you look away, toward Nyx in your arms, hoping that your hair hid your blush.

You had tried not to think about him in those last days. Not to think about how he had kissed you back. How soft his lips were. How he tasted of honey, making you wonder if he tasted like that down-"You should go too, Y/n."

Rhys' voice snapped you out from your unholy, undecent, inappropriate thoughts. You watched him visibly confused, knowing there was no point in hiding that you were absolutely not listening.

"Eris had arrived at Hewn City this morning under my request." He informed you while his violet eyes seemed to look like through your soul. "I think your presence might be...welcomed. You saved his life after all."

You really hoped not to have flinched at his words, knowing that Mor was right beside him, looking at you curiously. Gods, what did she think of you? Saving the life of the male she hated. What would she think if she find out what you really think of him?

"If you think so." Your voice was barely a whisper, knowing that their fae's ears would catch it up.

The truth was that you had been dying to see him again. When you had woken up in Azriel's arms you had barely had the time to breath again that Feyre had started her labour. There had been no time to ask about what had happened, and when the baby was born Azriel informed you that Eris had gone back to his court, not remembering much about what had happened.

"I'll take him." Mor said standing up from the couch and gently taking Nyx from your arms and giving you a warm smile. "Be careful."

You gave her a nod before taking Cassian's arm and let him winnow you inside the Hewn City, right outside a poolished, black door. You guessed was Eris' suite, and the confirmation came when an angry Keir rushed out of it.

Mor's father stopped on his feet as soon as he saw you two, and gave you in particular a sneer. "If you take away some of her clothes he might be tell you something."

You had barely widened your eyes when he stormed away, probably sensing the death glare that Cassian was giving him now. You wondered if now that he was a fresh, mated male he felt more eager to tear apart other males, but you guessed that Keir didn't want to know the answer.

"Let's get this over." Cassian's breathed as he opened the door and entered before you, shielding you with his wings as he always did.

You thought you were past the point where they would still think that Eris was a danger to you, but after what happened with Briallyn you couldn't blame them. Mor had told you that Azriel had found you nearly dead in Eris' arms and, her words not yours, Gods knew what he would have done to you if Azriel hadn't arrived.

Jokes on you, you really hoped that Azriel hadn't seen how you had tried to save yourself. Not that the shadowsinger would ever let anything slip from his mouth, but still it would be...what? Mortifying? Yes, mortifying that you didn't feel ashamed at all.

Eris was reading a book by the roaring fire, an ankle crossed over a knee, as if his presence there were nothing unusual. As if he hadn’t been kidnapped, enchanted, and manipulated by a vengeful queen and a death-lord. As if you hadn't shagged him until blacking out.

Cassian shut the door behind you, and Eris lifted his amber eyes, meeting yours. Did he remeber? How much? Did he want to kill you for what you did? Would he start laughing and mocking you?

His gaze lowered to your neck where you knew you had a nice, red necklace made of burned flesh and purple bruises where his hand had choked you. You saw his jaw clenching and his posture stiffining as he looked back at Cassian. "I can't stay long."

His whole body and tone screamed that he didn't want to be there, and by the way he had stiffened as soon as he saw you, you were perfectly sure to be the reason why.

"Good." Cassian said dropping into the seat opposite him, trying to make room for you on the loveseat without succeding.

You gave him a smile, shaking your head to say that it didn't matter as you sat on its armrest. You saw Eris studying your interaction carefully as he closed the book in his hands. His eyes fixated on you, his amber eyes scorcing your soul with the intensity of his gaze, then they fell on your lips.

You ashamely shivered as his eyes seemed to relive the kiss you had shared. Mother...he remeber, you thought feeling a hint of heat appearing on your cheeks. Then, his hand tightened around his book as his eyes met your again. "You cannot speak."

It was a statement. Not a question. He was not thinking about your kiss, he was noticing how you still hadn't opened your mouth to speak. You were about to do so when Cassian spoke before you.

"You gave her quite the necklace, you prick." Cassian sneered, suddenly in a mood. Your gaze snapped on him, burning him with your eyes as he kept looking at the prince. "Her lungs and vocal cords were all burned."

You cleared your throat, preparing yourself for the pain that was going to come. "I can speak, you overprotective asshole." Your eyes immediately stung with tears as you felt sharp rocks rubbing the inside of your throat. You hated how your voice sounded rough, low and weak. "I was just advised not to."

You could have sworn Eris flinched as soon as he heard you speak. Eris Vanserra, heir to the Autumn Court, flinched at the sound of your voice. You weren't sure if you should get offended or feel touched.

"Don't worry, nothing permanent." You gave him a smile as you whispered, the only way to not ending up crying for the pain. "I'm fine."

Something shifted in his face. The worry, the hesitation were gone. If it hadn't been for his red hair you would have mistaken him for someone of the Winter Court. His face was a mask of pure coldness, his eyes, where flames usually danced, were now unmoving.

"I suppose you want to know what I told Briallyn." Eris said Cassian, as if the conversion you had never happened.

“Rhys already looked into your mind. Turns out, you didn’t know much.” Cassian gave the male a slashing grin.

You froze on your seat. Did Rhys saw the kiss? Was this the reason why he had watched you carefully those days? Why he wanted you to go and see Eris?

Eris rolled his eyes, not touched at all by the violetion of privacy. "So why am I here?"

Something was off with him, and it was not only his behaviour toward you. He seemed to not care about that conversation at all, he seemed like he wanted to do anything rather than talking about that.

"We wanted to know what you told Beron. Since you're sitting here, in one piece, I'm assuming he doesn't know about our involvement in your rescue." Cassian said, and your head snapped toward the Illyrian male.

That was not the reason why you were there. You had just wanted to know if Eris was alright. You were smart enough to trust that he obviously wouldn't have told Beron anything important, but for Cassian to imply just that was insulting.

"Oh, he knows that you...assisted me." the mocking in his tone, the hint of a smirk on his lips, were a relief compared to the emptiness you had seen in his eyes while Briallyn controlled him. "Always mix truth and lies, General. Didn't those warrior-brute teach you about how to withstand an enemy's torture?"

His words hadn't time to register in your head as Cassian spoke. "Beron tortured you?"

You watched Cassian confused. Why was he implying that? You knew that Beron was a monster, but Eris was his son. He would have probably tortured whoever he thought responsible for his kidnapping.

"Who cares what my father does to me?" Your eyes snapped to Eris as he stood up, tucking his book under an arm. No. You were undertanding wrong. "He believed my story about the shadowsinger's spies informing him that a valuable asset had been kidnapped by Briallyn, and that you lot were disgusted to arrive and find it was me, rather than someone from the Summer or Winter Courts or whoever stoops to associate with you."

The more he talked the more you felt sick. Beron had tortured him. Beron had tortured him. Beron had tortured him.

Beron.

Had.

Tortured.

Eris.

While you were uncoscious. While you were celebrating Nyx's born. While you were resting and healing and laughing, Eris was being tortured by his own father.

Tortured.

Did you even understand the meaning of that word? Could you even imagine what Beron actually did? To Eris. To your Eris.

Cassian was talking, Eris was answering, but you hear none of that. Blood was pounding in your ears. Fire was running in your veins. Red was filling your vision.

You wanted to scream. You wanted to burn. You wanted to leash out your fire and let it find Beron. Let it burn him and the entire castle. Anger. Anger was all you knew. Anger was all you had ever known.

You saw Eris wincing as he moved. Were he still hurt? Did he not get to a healer?

Beron had tortured him. How dared him touching what was yours? How dared him hurting what gave you happiness?

You will kill him. You will find Beron and kill him. You will burn his flesh piece after piece. You would let Eris' hounds eat him alive. Then you will heal him completely and start again. And again. And again. You will keep doing it until you crashed his brain. Until he wouldn't know what to beg for.

Fire. You would use the very thing Beron thought he controlled. You would shape it as his biggest nightmare and use it against him.

"Y/n." Were those voices? "Stop." Were those hands on your shoulders?

You were an arrow aimed straight, and the target was inside the Forest House in the Autumn Court. You would find him and stop him existence.

Look at me.

The words vibrated in your soul as amber filled your vision. Those were eyes you were staring into. Amber eyes. Beautiful, enchanting, living amber eyes.

Stay with me. Focus on me.

Eris' voice filled you whole, and then you realized that it was Eris standing in front of you. His hands had been the ones holding you. His eyes had been the ones you had been staring to.

He was speaking to you, but not really. His lips weren't moving, his breathing didn't shift.

Breath for me, Little Flame.

Little Flame. You recognized that name. It was Eris' name. It was your name. You blinked once. Twice. You took a better look at his face and knew that you would kill everyone who hurt him.

Smoke rose from his tailored shirt, and you needed another blink to notice the flames circling the both of you, making the world outside disappear. Making you two disappear from the world.

Gods. It was your flames that were slightly burning his shirt, and with a panicked wave you pushed the fire walls two feet more away from you. Since when you had that control? Since you don't want to hurt him.

"Your shirt." you whispered as the pain in your throat brought you completed back to the real world. "I burned it."

"Your neck." he replied so softly that you barely heard him. "I burned it."

His hands winced on your shoulders, and you felt his need to both push away and hold you tighter at the same time. He closed his eyes, breathing deeply, and as he leaned closer you let your foreheads meet in the middle.

Your hands were shivering, begging you to seek revenge. You gripped his shirt's collar, inhaling the scent of him. Honey, burned wood, cinnamon, cedar. It felt like the home you had always dreamed about.

"I'm going to kill him." You didn't recognize your own voice when you spoke. It was the voice of death. You watched as Eris opened his eyes and met yours. "I'm going to make him suffer and then kill him."

Something shifted in his eyes. Something you couldn't decipher. Something cold and yet warm. Something dangerous but soft. He was having an internal battle, his hands were slowly letting you go and you didn't want it.

"Let me heal you." You whispered, hoping to smooth the anger inside you.

"Make the fire disappear." it was his only response as he took a step back, leaving you confused and lost. "Now."

You had to blink twice because you almost didn't recognize the male in front of you. His voice had turned cold, he had straightened his posture and his eyes were nothing but demanding.

You gulped as you started to call the fire back into you. Suddenly you realized you were still standing in the suit inside the Hewn City. A confused, worried Cassian was looking at the two of you from a spot beside the window.

When did you move from the couch?

But you didn't look at the Illyrian male. You didn't look at the burned forniture that needed to be replaced, or at the smoke that rose from it. Your eyes stayed on Eris, pinning him with your stare.

"Let me heal you." You whispered again, testing the air between your bodies.

He clenched his jaw, his hands fixed in two fits at his side, as if he was preparing phisically for what come next. "Take your pity and leave."

***

He saw your eyes widening. He saw your breathing catching and your eyebrows furrowing, as if you tried to understand what he had said. You were taken back, you tried to mutter words but with your burned neck nothing came out.

Good. Lets be quick.

He had to strike before it was too late, and he did. He had come too close to you. He had come too close to killing you. And he needed to put distance between the two of you again. He didn't need you to hate his father, he needed you to hate him. He needed you to hate him as much as he hated himself for what he did to you.

"It's not pity." you sounded almost insulted by his implication. "You're hurt, I can heal you."

But why would he deserve to be healed by you when you couldn't heal yourself from what he did? He deserved nothing. Nothing. Not to be healed. Not to be cared for. Not you.

"Don't bother to do something I wouldn't." he saw the physical punch his words gave you. He saw the lies he said placing roots inside you.

Gods, he could be so cruel when he wanted. He knew exactly how to hurt people without touching them, and he was doing it to the last person who deserved it.

He had been so close to killing you. He had seen the life leaving your eyes, and he couldn't have done nothing to stop it. To stop him. The Gods had played a sick joke on him. The very right moment he had got close to you, when he had started to believe that he might become someone worthy of you, they had reminded him the danger he was to you. They had reminded him that you would never be safe beside him. Too many enemies. Too much of his father's blood run into his veins. And he would have cut them open if it meant he could spill all of it away and replace it with something else.

The worst, most terrifying thing was not how he felt about you, he was too gone to be ever saved from it, but it was that you cared for him. In his way to get to know you, you had started to care for him, and where did it bring you? Right into death's hands. His hands.

You had kissed him to save him. You had kissed the very lips that were now spilling hurtful words to you. You had kissed him and let him take all your air to save him.

He couldn't let you be so reckless. Not for him. Not when he just found out that the universe must have born from one of your kisses, because nothing could ever feel as godly as your lips on his.

"I thought..." you gasped as you tried to speak throught the pain he could clearly see. "I thought we were..."

Dangerous were the words that could follow. But he needed to hear them. He needed to hear them in order to destroy them.

"What?" It was easy using his mockying voice. It was easy protecting you from him. "What did you think we were?"

He saw in your eyes you were searching for the right word. He dreaded you would find it. Not now. You couldn't know now. Because if you did, he wasn't sure he would control himself and go away.

"Friends..." your voice was broken, but not from the pain of your throat. "I thought we were friends."

Friends.

After five hundreds years of living on that earth Eris finally understood the meaning of the word 'devastated'. He felt devastated. His soul was being ripped apart and he was the one doing it.

You had considered him a friend.

Nothing could ever compare to it. Not mates. Not partners. Not family.

Friends.

Something you choose to be. Something you work hard to be. Something that in his world had never existed. Had someone ever considered him a friend? Had he ever considered someone a friend?

He would endure the horrors on his life another thousands times if it meant being worthy of being your friend. Worthy of being called such. Worthy of your trust, and not because a bond told you so but because you had decided it on your own.

And you did. You had actually choosen to give him your trust, to call him your friend. And now he was breaking it. Stripping himself from the honor of that word.

He laughed. At you. At himself. At the Mother for having given him something so perfect while he would never be able to have it. He laughed because he felt he would cry otherwise. He laughed because he wanted nothing more than kneel in front of you and beg for forgiveness.

"I don't need your pathetic excuse of a friendship. I need your power." Never in his life had words left such a bitter taste in his mouth. "Do something useful and keep training it."

He didn't need the bond to know how much his words hurt you, because you were letting him see everything on your beautiful face. You were letting him see how he was breaking the trust you had in him piece after piece.

You gulped, and he traced every movements with his eyes, wondering if this would be the last time he saw you for a very long time.

He saw in you eyes that you wanted to say something, but he guessed you decided that he was not worth the pain in your throat, and he surely was not.

He watched as you silently walked out of the suit, unaware that you were taking away a piece of his heart with you. A piece he had willingly, stupidly gave you.

He watched as the door closed behind you, as the silence that followed filled his ears. As the damage he had done took form in the emptiness he felt inside him.

“You know, Eris,” Cassian said, a hand wrapping around the doorknob ready to follow you. “I think you might be a decent male, deep down, trapped in a terrible situation.”

Eris scoffed, hating the pity look that the General was giving him. Cassian out of everyone should hate him. Both for what he presumely did to Mor and for what he just saw.

"You should be happy your little 'sister' won't speak with a monster like me ever again." If with you every word had been strecthed, with Cassian was easy. A dance they had been doing for centuries. "A pity you are mated to her twin. I heard Illyrians have the habits of fucking their sisters."

Cassian studied the burned furniture around them, the only proof of the rage you had felt. The only proof that something glimmering gold tied Eris to you.

“I grew up surrounded by monsters. I’ve spent my existence fighting them. And I see you, Eris. You’re not one of them. Not even close. I think you might even be a good male.” Cassian opened the door, turning from Eris’s curled lip. “You’re just too much of a coward to act like one.”

FInally the Illyrian walked away, giving Eris the pleasure of the solitude. Alone he couldn't hurt anyone but himself. Alone no one could hurt him but himself.

He winnowed right back in his bedroom back at the secret cottage he owned deep in the forest of the Autumn Court, close to the border of Winter. Everything was still, unmoving. He had not been able to go there for over two months.

Every window was rightfully closed, every fire out, and in the darkness of the house he could not bring himself to regret what he had done. Memories of your lifeless body hunted his mind, because you had died.

He had never noticed how a second was long, and he had not been prepared when for twenty-three long seconds your heart had stopped beating. For twenty-three long seconds his life had lost any meaning. For twenty-three long seconds he had wished to be dead.

Eris had grabbed into the bond, he had grabbed it with teeth and claws, and had begged you to stay while Azriel had held him down with his shadows and Cassian tried to reanimate you. He had yelled at you to come back. He had show you the image of the cottage, of the Autumn's forest around it, of his hounds peacefully sleeping in the grass. He had promised you to show you all of it if you came back.

You could not breath, he had realized while Cassian tried to make your heart beat again. You could not breath for the damaged he had caused you. So Eris had grabbed a hold on your power too, he had found the last strike of flames left in you and healed you from the inside. It had not been much, but it had been enough to allow the air to enter in you again.

You had died for twenty-three seconds.

Eris could live without a mate. He had done it for five hundreds years. He had never wanted one. Never needed one. But it had been in the brightness of the day, as the sunlight hit the falling leaves of the trees, as the sounds of his hounds running through the forest filled his ears, that he realized he could not live without you.

A/N: I do have a question: The Eris in your head has long or short hair? I was talking about it with a new dear friend of mine and I am curious about your opinions!

taglist: @adventure-awaits13 @blueeclipsepaperstudent @huffleruffplant @azysmate @bia-wayne-west @babypeapoddd @lady-targaryens-world@sourapplex @ghostwritermia @asteria33 @pinklemonade34 @tell-me-a-poem @speedypersonawhispers @historygeekqueen @webvics@paliketerson @lizzytish82 @tincanhat @marrass @acourtofmoonlightandstars @yasmin-oviedo @ghostwritermia @marly500@kabekusa @gamarancianne @butterfix @itsxchar6 @iowaladynerd @that-girl-reading @kitsunetori @rcarbo1 @username199945 @giana1508 @homeslices @yasmin-oviedo @impossibelle @iambored24601 @elisabethch82 @herondale-lightworm @garricktavisfanclub@imma-too-many-fandoms @celestialgilb @wandas-dream @virtualcherryblossomwhispers @courtofjade @azzydaddy @saamaanthaa5sos @lomahdu

[seungkwanniee]

pairings : boyfriend!seventeen x gn!reader

warnings : mention of food , being lefted out , some cursing

genre : fluff , angsty (w/ happy ending)

synopsis : when they get jealous because you have a close bond with another member

an : last post went so well, im so happy yall liked it 😭

〔masterlist〕

SCOUPS 』

he is the typs to get sooo jealous

so, when you go visit them at the dance pratice room and the frist one that you hug it's not him but Dino, he is already sulking

he looks at you quickly messing with Dino hair while he waits you to notice his presence too with arm folded

"yah~, what are you doing"

he needs to speak for himself when you're taking your sweet time with the maknae you seem to love more than him

you don't even need to turn around to know that his lips are pouted because of how his words are sounding

(I have in mind that one video of Scoups sulking bc the members didn't wished him hb at midnight lol)

but deep down he is smiling because he loves the way you are so close with is friends

JEONGHAN 』

on the spot, he doesn't say anything

he would just sit on the couch with arm folded while he side eye you and Seungkwan cooking something in the kitchen

but don't ever think you will get away with that

he start to ignores your calls from the kitchen when you finally decided to give him attention too but, oh right now it's too late

he will not eat the food you prepared

or to tease you, he will eat it just to compliments Seungkwan skills

he would be a tease and ignores you until you are on your knees asking for forgiveness

this is the Jeonghan effect

he isn't even that jealous, he just wanted to tease you because you made him bored

JOSHUA 』

boi is so jealous be he will not show it

he looks at you and Jeonghan having an animated conversation about an anime he doesn't even know the existence

he feels a litte left out :(

he eat his meal in silence with a long face but when you turn to see what he is doing he will just go with his ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ face

but under the table he's clenching his fists

when Jeonghan is gone, he would be still upset and from his mouth wasn't escaping a single word

and even when you ask him what's wronf, he would come up with some excuses that you, ofcurse, don't take

he is hugging you after he found the courage to say he didn't liked your behavior

JUN 』

he looks around confused with his mouth slightly open

why his s.o. is sitting beside Minghao and not him, their boyfriend?

jun is absent the whole hangout because his mind is flying too far and thousand scenarios are going through it

he looks at your direction maybe too much, you two aren't even interacting but still

you feel his eyes on you and notice his frown expression

when you sit beside him, he feels like a kid that just got the toy of his dream

his eyes are sparkling

and when you say you got his jealousy, he will not admit it in words but his blushed cheeks will

HOSHI 』

don't mess with him when he is jealous/angry

yk that one video of him being angry with the members? yeah, well he is exactly like this

he is going insane the moment he see how you and woozi are sharing the same meal

you ofcurse asked him frist, but when he rejected you didn't thought there was something bad on asking him instead

when hoshi stands up and slams on the floor his seat, everyone turn and look at him shocked

you rarely see him angry, thats why you didn't though about your action twice. You really thought he wouldn't mind

after he forgived you and letted you promise you wouldn't do it again, like kids do, he would still pouts a little for the whole week

WONWOO 』

he is also so silent about it, but his expression every now and then shows perfectly how he is feeling

his golden retriver bsf is always so happy and close with you, but today he was doing a little too much

or maybe he was being more sensitive today

but in anycase, it was Mingyu fault

he is sorry for you that you have to listen all his yapping about everything (he is just mad jealous)

but you enjoy all his yapping too, you two are basically gossipping togheter

and that is tesing his patience because today you two were supposted to read that one book he wanted to read with you for so long

"how much this is going to last?"

he tries to ask with a soft tone, but he is so annoyed that he can't hide it

at the end, you ends Mingyu never ending yap and lay on your boyfriend lap reading that unfamous book

WOOZI 』

for once he is feeling a little more clingy today but his plans are all ruined guess because of who?

Hoshi was in his studio right when you arrived to visit him

you didn't done that much to greet Woozi as you know he doesn't like kissing or stuff like that in front of people

but what you don't know is that he would kiss you right in front of Hoshi because today he is so needy

he tries to give the third wheel boy some suggesting, but he is not leaving as he is too immersed in the silly compositions on Woozi's computer

just to add fuel you sit beside him watching how he is messing on the computer being so invested in this project

you two were laughing uncontrollably at the shit he was making

but when woozi calls you aside and tells you to find a way to get hoshi out of the studio, you get the clingy mood he is in today and practically kick him out

you are excused tho, when you'll find Woozi in a clingy mood again

DOKYEOM 』

he is OFFENDED and ofcurse his iconic pout is here

why his scoups hyung was wrapping your shoulder with his arms?

he knows you two have a close bond since you are childhood friends, but still...

leave him, he is jealous anyway for some reasons

what he didn't know is that you two were intentionally teasing him, but he doesn't notice the looks you were give him as he is now too busy at acting upset

you just wanted to see his cute pout and his nochalant act he builds everytime

"dokyeom-ah, you okay?" Jeonghan love to tease, so he jumps in

"yeah, why I wouldn't" said with a pout still on his lips

liar

MINGYU 』

a pouted and clingy dog, he isn't even mad he would be just sad

he watches how Wonwoo touches your fingers while he is trying to teach you how to play

at frist, he didn't even notice it as he was too invested on what was playing on his phone

but when he raises his head once again and finally realize how Wonwoo's hands were touching yours, he is pouting for sure

he puts away his phone and now his eyes are glued to you two

he decided to mark his territory and clinges by your side, his arm wrappped around your waist and his head layed on your shoulder

"i'll teach her" Mingyu says with his upset voice

"you don't even know how to hold a controller, Mingyu" roasted as always

MINGHAO 』

why the fuck another man is messing with his beloved

he is going crazy when he noticed how Jun is trying to make you laugh so hard, and it makes him even more angry how you laugh at every single joke

c'mon, he is way more funnier you don't need another man doing his job

he never walked to your side faster

he is acting all nochalant with his annoyed smirk writted on his face

his arm wrapped around your waist while Jun is just too involved into the story to notice the annoyance in Hao's face

"Jun, don't you think you are yapping nonstop?" he is sassy bitch

Minghao laughs a little when Jun make a shocked face, just now getting that he was being jealous

now all your attention is his

SEUNGKWAN 』

he is jealous as fuck and he isn't afraid to show it

because what do you mean Vernon growned the habit to touch ears like him and now he was doing it on you

only him, your boyfriend, can do it to you

since Vernon it's a pretty cold person, that means you two have a really really close bond like siblings, but he is still jealous

he was side eyeing Vernon that at frist didn't even noticed

but when Seungkwan come behind him and grab his hand he goes like "oh"

Vernon would be so embarassed and Seungkwan just laughs at him

now he is messing with you ears, leave them alone please

VERNON 』

he is disconnected but even when he notice something a little strage, he is nonchalant

he sees how dokyeom acts around you, but he is a sun everytime and everywhere so he doesn't mind at all

but today was a bit different, he wasn't nonchalant like the other times because you two had an argoument right before coming to dk's house

so you are basically ignoring him all the time, not giving him a look

at this point he got that you are teasing him, clinging more than the usual to dokeyeom

and when he was sick and tired of that stupid act, he suddently grabs your wrist and brought you to the other room

refuses to let you go, not until you promise him to stop with that act

DINO 』

his confused and frowned face goes hard

why his hyung was acting like that all of the sudden?

it was usual hanging out around the boys too and he is aware that you are pretty close with Joshua but not that much

but by looking at your face, he is guessing that you are confused too

he is like "hyung, what are you doing?"

at this point, the evil twins can't hold in anymore and they brust into laughter

seeing their youngest one standing up for theirself it seems too hilarious

and since you are their maknae s.o., they are bulling you too

[suliigwp]

FLUENT IN LOVE

PART TWO OF - GAME OF HEARTS

Charles Leclerc x reader

SULI:part two! Everything that is written like this is a flashback, soft-broken Charles I'm a whore for, this is so much better than the last one guys what even was that, this still feels rushed though sorry🙏 Tumblr is a bitch I can't write in pace it's glitching so much

warnings: swearing, suggestive content, smoking, vomiting, google translate french

It’s been three weeks.

Three weeks since Charles told her to leave.

Three weeks since she walked out of his life with red-rimmed eyes and trembling hands.

Three weeks since the weight of her absence started pressing into his every day like a bruise he can’t stop touching.

She took her stuff. Left the key in the plant pot like he asked. Didn’t fight him after that call.

But Charles sees her everywhere.

In the empty space on his bathroom counter. In the way his closet suddenly has room. In the silence of his flat, no music humming in the background, no soft laugh when he says something sarcastic under his breath.

He keeps checking her socials.

Every night.

She’s quiet. Too quiet. Which only makes it worse. He tells no one that he misses her. Except Carlos, who caught him staring at her contact one night.

"You're gonna call her?" His teammate asked.

Charles didn't know how to answer, he wanted to call, yell, scream, ask for answers, why she did it, why she didn't tell him if it started to become real. He's still staring at her contact, her name put between red hearts and a picture of her laughing, he can still hear it.

He turns off his phone and straightens up on the couch.

"I can't."

Carlos placed a hand on his shoulder, giving him a firm squeeze.

"Don't carry this weight alone man,"

He continued to talk, but Charles could not hear him. No one understood. No one. He lived her, fuck he loved her so much, it feels like a giant put has opened up in his heart and he can't understand what he can do to close it up.

...

She was going to tell him. She swore to herself she would. The plan was set. Dinner at his. Soft music. Wine. She even practiced the words in the mirror. But then that friend—the one who knew—came up to her at the worst possible moment. Cornered her.

Told her she was pathetic for dragging it out. Called her a coward. Told her Charles deserved better.

And she agreed. She left shaking, nails dug into her palms.

By the time she got to his place, something inside her had already cracked.

He opened the door with that stupid, soft smile.

“Hey. You okay?”

She didn’t answer. She just kissed his neck. Tugged him back inside.

Her hands were frantic. Her eyes didn’t meet his.

She was angry—at herself, at the world, at the truth—and he thought maybe she just needed closeness. Comfort.

So he let it happen.

He let her push him back onto the bed. Let her tear at his shirt like she was trying to erase the guilt with her fingertips.

But something felt off.

She didn’t kiss him.

Not once.

She kissed his jaw. His throat. His chest. But never his lips.

And God—he needed her lips.

He cupped her face, breathless beneath her, voice trembling. “Please. I… I can’t finish if you don’t kiss me.”

She froze above him. He looked at her like she was his whole world. She looked back at him like she wasn’t worthy of even existing in it.

Because in her mind, his mouth was sacred. And hers had lied. Had deceived him. So she couldn’t do it.

But he begged again. Whispered her name. Pulled her down and kissed her first.

And it broke her.

The kiss was soft. Desperate. Tears ran down her face without warning, salty between their mouths.

He tasted them. He stilled. He pulled away, face twisted in concern, still inside her.

“Are you crying?”

She shook her head and kissed him harder. Don’t ask, don’t stop, don’t think— She needed to lose herself. To drown in him.

He didn’t question it again. He just held her, kissed her, murmured how much he loved her against her throat. And the whole time, her heart was screaming:

You shouldn’t.

You shouldn’t.

You shouldn’t.

He woke up slowly.

It was early. The Monaco light filtered in pale through the curtains, casting soft gold over her bare back.

She was lying on her side, facing away from him, breathing shallow.

Still. Too still.

“…Bébé?”

No response. He scooted closer, pressing his chest to her spine, arm around her waist.

She tensed—just for a second—but he felt it.

He kissed her shoulder anyway. Gentle.

Worshipping.

Because last night had been... strange. Raw.

Almost desperate.

She’d touched him like she was running out of time. Like she was trying to burn the memory of him into her skin.

And she cried. She said she wasn’t. Lied to his face with her tears still on his mouth.

But he didn’t press. Didn’t want to ruin whatever that moment had been for her.

Still, something about it sat wrong in his chest.

She hadn't kissed him until he begged. And even then—it felt like her lips were saying goodbye.

She stirred beside him now, turning slightly, eyes cracked open but avoiding his.

“You okay?” He whispered out gently.

“Yeah. Just tired.”

Her voice was hoarse. Her hand found his on her stomach and held it there, like she was afraid to let it go.

He smiled. Kissed her temple. “You were… intense last night.”

That made her stiffen again. Just barely. “Not that I’m complaining. I just… you didn’t kiss me. At first. Felt like you were mad at me.”

She laughed—dry, hollow. “Mad at myself, maybe.”

“For what?” His brows furrow.

She didn’t answer. Instead, she turned to face him and kissed his chin, then buried her face in his chest like a child hiding from a storm.

He held her closer. Still, that tiny voice in his head whispered:

“Something’s wrong.”

But he told himself it was nothing. Told himself she was just tired, or overwhelmed, or in her feelings the way people sometimes get when things get serious. And it was serious. At least for him.

So he whispered against her hair. “Don’t scare me like that again, okay? I don’t like seeing you cry.”

She nodded against him.

...

It’s the kind of night Monaco loves—luxury dressed up as elegance. The chandelier lights are low and golden, glinting off champagne flutes and glossy red nails. The rooftop venue overlooks the bay, the air scented faintly with salt, gardenias, and too much cologne. Laughter floats through the air like smoke—empty and practiced.

Charles hates these events. He’s here out of obligation—shake hands, smile, maybe charm a few sponsors. He hasn’t touched his drink. His tie feels too tight. He hasn’t slept well in weeks.

He’s talking to someone—he doesn’t remember who. A sponsor’s son, maybe. Or a PR exec. The words are just noise until the room tilts.

She walks in.

It’s not dramatic. She isn’t announced, she doesn’t do anything to draw attention. But he feels her before he sees her. The same way a storm shifts the air before the first drop hits the ground.

His eyes find her without meaning to.

She’s in a black dress—long, sleek, elegant. It dips low in the back, her hair swept into something soft and understated, the way he used to like it. A glass is placed in her hand and she accepts it with a nod, her posture straight, face unreadable. She glows in this space—like she belongs here. But Charles knows better. She hated these kinds of nights.

She hasn’t seen him yet. Or maybe she has and she’s pretending not to. He couldn’t blame her.

Still, he can’t look away.

He feels everything all at once—grief, longing, fury at himself, at her. That echoing ache that’s lived in his chest since the night it ended.

Then it happens—her eyes shift.

They land on him like a gut-punch. He goes still.

Her expression doesn’t change at first. She’s still mid-conversation with someone else, still holding her drink just so. But Charles sees it. The small freeze. The tension in her shoulders. Her mouth parts, breath catching almost imperceptibly.

He’s sure he looks worse. The bruises under his eyes feel obvious. He’s thinner. Worn around the edges. He told himself he’d be fine. He isn’t.

Neither of them moves.

The world blurs around them—flashes of jewelry, crystal, conversation. He only sees her. And her eyes, wide and flickering with something he can’t place. Hope? Regret? Wreckage?

Then, after an eternal moment, she looks away.

It’s the smallest thing. But it slices through him like glass.

She doesn’t turn around and run. She doesn’t come toward him. She simply tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, turns back to her conversation, and pretends like nothing happened.

He wants to go to her. He wants to demand to know why she left. To tell her he’s still not over her, that she ruined every night since. That he still sleeps on the side of the bed he left for her.

Instead, he just breathes.

Because this is what they are now—strangers with too much history and not enough words.

She doesn’t hear him come out at first. She’s lighting a cigarette with trembling fingers on the balcony, trying to pretend she hasn’t been watching him the whole night from across the room.

But then the sliding door creaks. And there he is.

Charles.

His jaw is clenched, his eyes a mess of unshed tears and something deeper—something darker. Rage. Hurt. Betrayal that’s been brewing and boiling and eating away at his insides.

She opens her mouth—she doesn’t know what to say, but she knows she has to say something.

He cuts her off.

“You played me.”

The words slice.

She exhales slowly, not facing him yet. “It didn’t mean anything. Not the—”

“Don’t,” he spits. “Don’t you dare stand there and try to tell me it didn’t mean anything.”

“I meant the bet, Charles,” she turns now, voice sharper. “I didn’t expect you to be who you are. I didn’t expect to feel anything.”

“And that makes it better?” His voice cracks halfway through. “That you accidentally fell for me while I was just a fucking joke?”

She swallows. “You weren’t a joke.”

He laughs. Bitter, broken. “You told people it would be fun to see if you could get me to fall for you. You sat there and smiled while your friend watched us like it was a fucking experiment.”

Tears prick her eyes, but his are already falling. He swipes at them roughly like they offend him. His chest heaves.

“You kissed me like it meant something,” he whispers, then louder—accusing, “You looked at me like I was safe.”

“I didn’t mean to—”

“You don’t get to say that!” he explodes, voice ragged now, the tears coming faster. “You don’t get to mean it after. You don’t get to break me and then realize you care.”

She’s shaking now. “Charles—”

His hand goes to his mouth, trembling, and then to his chest like he can’t breathe properly. He turns, paces once, twice—he looks like he’s drowning. And then—

He bends over the railing, retching.

She stumbles forward instinctively, but stops herself. He wouldn’t want her touching him now.

When he straightens again, he wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand, face pale, tears still falling silently down flushed cheeks.

“I hate that it still hurts,” he says hoarsely. “I hate that even after everything, I’d still take your calls. Still look for your face in every fucking crowd.”

She tries to speak, but he lifts a hand—don’t. He can’t take more.

“You ruined me,” he whispers.

Then he walks past her. Not a glance. Not this time.

The door shuts softly behind him, but the echo is brutal.

He doesn't even remember how he got to the car. Just the numbness in his hands, the taste of bile in his throat, and the way the world blurred behind a haze of tears as he yanked the door open.

The engine growls to life, but it’s the only thing steady in him. His foot slams the pedal harder than it should—he just needs to move. Needs to get the hell away from her, from the balcony, from the smell of her perfume clinging to his jacket. He drives like he's trying to outrun the sound of her voice in his head, but it’s no use. Every stoplight is an echo. Every turn, a memory.

You kissed me like it meant something.

It did. That’s what’s killing him.

By the time he gets home, his vision is swimming. The second the front door closes behind him, he sinks to the floor, back against the wall. The silence is deafening—he’s breathing like he just ran a marathon, chest tight, shirt damp from tears and sweat and the fallout of everything he didn’t want to believe.

He claws at his collar like it’s choking him. Pulls his dress shirt off. Then sits there in the hallway, fingers laced into his hair, shaking.

He tries to breathe.

He lets out a sound—a choked sob, more raw and broken than anything he's ever let himself feel.

He trusted her.

He fucking loved her.

It had been a quiet evening, the kind where the light outside stretched gold across the countertops and the windows were slightly cracked for the breeze. Charles had just arrived back in Monaco, sun-kissed and a little jet-lagged, but with this unmistakable lightness about him. He couldn’t stop smiling—not really. Not even when he tried.

His mother noticed, of course. She always did.

He was cutting tomatoes by the sink, sleeves rolled up, hair messy, when she leaned against the doorway with a knowing smile.

“You’re glowing.”

He glanced up. “Am I?”

She hummed. “You’ve been like this since you landed. Is there something you want to tell me?”

He shook his head, but that smile—that crooked, lopsided grin—betrayed him.

She narrowed her eyes. “Ah. There is someone.”

Charles laughed softly, cheeks going pink. “Maybe.”

“Well?” she asked, stepping into the kitchen. “Don’t keep me in suspense.”

He leaned back against the counter, towel in one hand. “She’s… not like anyone I’ve ever met.”

His mother raised her brows, amused. “That’s a big statement, Charles.”

He nodded slowly, smile softening. “She’s sharp. Sarcastic. So smart it’s scary sometimes. And she doesn’t care about any of this—racing, the attention. She sees through it all.”

His mother watched him quietly for a moment.

“I think she might be the one,” he said, barely above a whisper.

She blinked. “Already?”

Charles let out a shaky breath and nodded. “Yeah. She is.”

And the way he said it—so certain, so sure, like he'd finally found something that made sense in a world full of noise—made his mother’s chest ache a little.

She smiled gently, caressing her son's pinked cheek as he looks down at his shoes like a teenager .“Then don’t let her go.”

...

The door clicks softly behind him as Charles steps inside, wiping at his eyes quickly, trying to seem composed even though he knows he probably looks wrecked.

“Charles?” his mother calls from the kitchen, hearing the keys hit the bowl. “You’re here early. Weren't you supposed to come at six?"

He forces a breath and drags a hand through his hair, walking in to find her stirring a pot on the stove. The scent of garlic and tomato fills the room—warm, familiar, grounding.

“Yeah,” he says, voice hoarse. “Didn’t feel like staying out.”

She turns and studies him for a moment, eyes narrowing. “You’re pale.”

“I’m tired.”

“You’ve been crying.”

He exhales a dry laugh and looks away. “I’m fine, maman.”

She doesn't press, just nods once and gestures to the table. “Sit. Eat.”

He obeys, pulling out a chair as she sets a plate in front of him. The clink of cutlery fills the silence for a while, and he eats mechanically, like it’s the only thing tethering him to the moment.

And then, like a cruel trick from memory, she smiles softly and says, “How’s that girl you told me about? The one from London. The translator.”

His fork pauses halfway to his mouth. His chest tightens. He swallows hard.

His mother doesn’t notice his shift—just keeps talking as she pours him a glass of water. “You were so lit up about her. I haven’t seen you like that in a long time.”

He remembers it all too clearly now. Just a few months ago—walking into this kitchen, heart full, eyes bright, words tumbling out of him before she even asked. Telling his maman how smart she was. How she challenged him. How she kissed him like she meant it. How he thought—maybe—this was different.

He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes now, silently.

“Charles?” his mother says gently, sensing the change in the air.

He lowers his hands. “It’s… over.”

She sits down across from him quietly.

He laughs under his breath, bitter. “You’d think I’d know better.”

She says nothing for a moment. Then, very softly, “Did she hurt you?

He looks down at his plate. At the glass of water. Anywhere but at her.

“Yes.”

...

Charles had started to dream memories.

It's like his own consciousness was mocking him. He avoided sleeping in general.

It was late — almost midnight. He hadn’t expected anything. He told her not to plan a thing. That he just wanted to sleep through the day and forget he was another year older.

But when he stepped into his apartment after a long day at the factory, there it was — dim lighting, the scent of something warm in the kitchen, and her.

She had changed the sheets on his bed to the ones she knew he liked most — soft, clean cotton with that scent of lavender she always used. On the counter was a tiny, handmade cake, uneven and tilted to the side. The frosting looked like it had fought back.

But it wasn’t the cake that gutted him. It was the envelope resting beside it. Inside wasn’t just a card — it was a letter. A full letter, handwritten. Pages and pages.

About how proud she was of him. How she saw every moment he held himself together for everyone else. How she loved the way he looked when he was focused. How she noticed the small things — like how he tapped his fingers before a race, how he always remembered the names of every crew member.

How she hoped he’d let himself be soft that night. Let himself rest.

At the end of the letter, she wrote:

“You don’t need to be anything more than Charles tonight. Not the driver, not the name, not the pressure. Just you. And that’s enough. Happy birthday, my love.”

He had kissed her like he’d never get the chance again. That night, she’d curled up in his arms, her hand splayed over his ribs. He had whispered thank you into her neck over and over again until he fell asleep.

That kept him up all night, tears staining his pillows, facing away from her side of his bed.

...

Charles sat slouched on the floor of his apartment, back against the wall, hoodie bunched around his neck, eyes red and tired. There was a cup of untouched tea on the coffee table—long since cold—and a rain of unread messages on his phone. He hadn’t been to the gym. He hadn’t touched his sim. Just existing felt like more than enough.

Carlos walked in without knocking. He didn’t need to. He’d used the spare key Charles had given him over a year ago—the one meant for convenience, for late-night FIFA sessions or pre-race pasta dinners.

Now, it felt like a lifeline.

“You look like shit,” Carlos said plainly, tossing his bag onto the couch.

Charles didn’t answer. He didn’t need to.

Carlos sighed, ran a hand through his hair, and crouched in front of him. “Mate. You can’t keep doing this. You’re gonna end up in the hospital again.”

Charles blinked slowly. His voice was hoarse. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine. You haven’t eaten in what, two days? You haven’t left the house except to throw up in a carpark because someone played a song that reminded you of her.”

Charles flinched.

Carlos’ voice softened, but only slightly. “Look, I know it hurts. I know what she did was fucked up. But you have to get a grip. This… this isn’t healing. This is drowning.”

Charles’ fingers curled into the fabric of his hoodie. “You didn’t see her, Carlos. After everything, I still—” His voice cracked. “I still want to call her when something good happens.”

Carlos sat down beside him, shoulder to shoulder. “That’s normal. That’s human. But you don’t call someone who broke your heart for comfort. You don’t let someone like that take more from you than they already have.”

Silence.

“You’re getting sick over her, mate,” Carlos added, more gently now. “Every time something reminds you of her, you spiral. That’s not love anymore. That��s grief.”

Charles didn’t respond. His throat was tight.

Carlos nudged his arm. “I’m not saying forget her. But you need to fight for yourself now. She’s not coming to save you.”

Charles’s eyes brimmed with tears again—he tried to hold them back, jaw clenched—but a few slipped anyway. Carlos didn’t point it out. He just stayed there, steady and quiet, while Charles finally let himself fall apart for real.

Carlos is refusing to leave.

Charles had spent most of the day half-curled on the couch, TV on but silent, the volume a murmur beneath the weight in his chest. He hadn’t eaten. Barely moved. The phone sat face down on the table, vibrating now and then—mostly Carlos, once or twice Arthur. He didn’t check.

By the time Carlos let himself in using the spare key—unapologetic and determined—Charles looked up only briefly, hollow-eyed.

“I’m not going anywhere until you shower and come out,” Carlos said, arms crossed.

“I’m not in the mood.”

“You haven’t been in the mood for weeks,” Carlos shot back, softer than his words sounded. “Come on. Just a couple hours. We won’t go anywhere loud.”

Charles exhaled slowly, dragging a hand over his face. He didn’t agree, not out loud. But ten minutes later, he was in the shower, forehead pressed to the tile, breathing in steam and trying to remember what it was like to feel normal.

The bar wasn’t new. It was their usual place in Monaco—nothing flashy, dimly lit, tucked away near the marina. Comfortable. Familiar. The kind of place where no one asked questions and everyone knew to leave them alone.

Pierre was already there, arms thrown dramatically as he narrated something half-true and wildly exaggerated. Lando had flown in earlier and was leaned back in his chair, sipping a beer and grinning at Max, who looked like he’d been dragged out against his will but was now begrudgingly enjoying himself.

They cheered when Charles walked in.

He offered a smile, small and tired but real.

Carlos ordered for them. No alcohol for Charles—not tonight. Just water, a couple of snacks he wouldn’t touch. The others were careful, subtle in how they talked around her name, tiptoeing over the wreckage they all knew too well.

At one point, Pierre asked about the gym, and Charles shrugged. “Trying. Not sleeping much.”

Lando muttered something about melatonin. Max offered him some weird herbal remedy from Austria. They laughed when Charles made a face. The night moved slowly, gently.

But eventually… something loosened.

Charles played a game of pool. Let Pierre make fun of his form. He lost spectacularly and actually rolled his eyes when Carlos fist-pumped like he’d won a championship. The corners of his mouth tilted up more easily now.

They ordered food. He ate a little. Talked a little more.

When the group began to thin, people heading out in pairs, Charles wandered to the terrace alone. The air was crisp against his skin, the sea black and infinite just beyond the lights. His hands rested on the railing. He exhaled, chest rising and falling like maybe—for once—it wasn’t going to collapse under the pressure.

Carlos found him a few minutes later, wordless at first.

He handed Charles a bottle of water and leaned against the rail beside him. For a long moment, they just stood there, silence stretching comfortably between them.

And then:

“She still in your head?” Carlos asked, voice low.

Charles didn’t answer right away.

He didn’t need to.

“Yeah,” he said eventually. “Always."

Carlos nodded, like that was the answer he expected.

“You’ll be alright,” he said after a beat. “Even if it doesn’t feel like it now.”

Charles didn’t respond. His throat tightened again. But this time, he didn’t look away.

“I think she broke me,” he murmured. “Not just because of what she did. Because I actually thought she might be it.”

Carlos turned, really looking at him. “Then you’ll get there again. Not tonight, maybe not for a while. But you will.”

Charles swallowed. Nodded once, barely.

Carlos clinked their water bottles together. “To surviving.”

Charles gave a quiet laugh. “Barely.”

“But still.”

He didn’t feel whole yet—not even close—but in that moment, under the stars, with the sound of waves in the distance and friends nearby, Charles realized something: he was still here. Still showing up. Still breathing through it.

And maybe… that was enough for now.

...

It wasn’t grand.

She didn’t want it to be—not when it came to him. Not anymore.

After everything, she knew gestures and apologies wouldn’t be enough. Still, silence wasn’t either. So she sent something small. Meant it as a beginning. A first step.

It arrived at his Monaco apartment on a quiet afternoon. With a signature and a date - three months before it all fell apart. A writing—pencil on soft cream paper— It's in French. His heart banged against his chest...

"Je t’écris ces mots parce que c’est la seule chose que je sais encore faire sans te regarder et me briser.

Je ne sais pas quand tout a changé. Peut-être que c’était dans ta voiture quand tu m’as regardée comme si j’étais douce, alors que je me suis toujours vue comme dure. Peut-être que c’était quand tu m’as parlé de ta mère, de tes souvenirs, et que tu m’as laissé entrer dans des pièces de toi que personne ne voit.

Tu es devenu un refuge sans que je m’en rende compte. Tu es devenu une habitude. Un battement. Un silence dans le bruit.

Et je t’ai trahi.

Pas avec mes mains. Pas avec mon corps. Mais avec mon passé. Avec ma lâcheté. Avec quelque chose que j’aurais dû arrêter dès le premier instant. Mais je ne l’ai pas fait. Je t’ai regardé tomber, et j’ai laissé faire.

Et pourtant, je t’ai aimé.

D’une manière désordonnée. D’une manière abîmée. Mais réelle. Tellement réelle que j’en perds les mots.

Je ne t’écris pas pour que tu me pardonnes. Je t’écris parce que je t’aime assez pour vouloir que tu saches la vérité. Tu mérites de savoir. Tu mérites tout ce que je n’ai pas su te donne.

Tu m’as changée.

Tu as planté des fleurs dans un désert, et même si elles ne poussent plus, je te promets que le sol s’en souvient.

Je t’aime. C’est peut-être trop tard. Mais c’est vrai."

"I’m writing you this because it’s the only thing I still know how to do without looking at you and breaking.

I don’t know when everything changed. Maybe it was in your car, when you looked at me like I was soft—when I’ve only ever seen myself as sharp edges. Maybe it was when you spoke to me about your mother, your memories, and let me into parts of you no one ever sees.

You became a refuge before I even realized. You became a habit. A heartbeat. A silence in the noise.

And I betrayed you.

Not with my hands. Not with my body. But with my past. With my cowardice. With something I should’ve stopped from the very beginning. But I didn’t. I watched you fall, and I let it happen.

And still, I loved you.

In a messy way. In a broken way. But real. So real that I lose the words.

I’m not writing this to ask for your forgiveness. I’m writing it because I love you enough to want you to know the truth. You deserve to know. You deserve everything I didn’t know how to give you.

You changed me.

You planted flowers in a desert, and even if they don’t bloom anymore—I promise you, the soil remembers.

I love you. Maybe it’s too late. But it’s true."

He stared at the envelope for what felt like forever. The note resting on his kitchen counter. Motionless. His throat went dry.

Then the shaking started.

His fingers first. Then his knees. It built slowly, then all at once. He couldn’t breathe. His ribs were clenching, his mouth gone sour, chest caught somewhere between rage and grief.

He backed away from the table.

Then bolted.

He barely made it to the bathroom, his hands trembling so hard he fumbled with the door. His knees hit tile. He threw up hard, once, then again, breath ragged, forehead to cold porcelain.

The note still sat where he left it.

Untouched. Innocent. Soft.

But it split something inside him wide open.

Why now?

He wanted to scream it. To claw it out of his chest.

Why after all this time—why when he had tried to heal, when he had fought every instinct to miss her, when he had tried to stitch his life back together—did she come back now?

Because he knew her. Knew she wouldn’t do this lightly. Which meant she meant it. Meant everything.

And it still hurt like hell.

...

It had been a quiet week.

The kind where the air felt lighter, his appetite was back, and he didn’t wake up every morning with a dull ache in his chest.

He’d started sleeping through the night again, training properly, even cracking jokes during meetings. Everyone noticed it.

He wasn’t fully healed—maybe he never would be—but for the first time in a while, he felt like himself.

And with that came the question that had been simmering in the background. The one he kept trying to ignore.

What if she really meant it?

What if she’s changed?

What if I let her try?

He didn’t want to decide alone. Not this time. So he asked the people who knew him best.

Carlos was the first.

They were lounging on the balcony of Charles’ apartment after a gym session, watching the late Monaco sun blur into the sea.

They sat side by side in silence, the sea glittering in the distance. Charles sipped slowly from a glass of water, the cool breeze tugging at the collar of his shirt. His body was tired from the workout, but it was the kind of tired that felt good, like he’d earned it.

Carlos leaned back, squinting into the sun. “You’ve been quiet,” he said.

Charles hummed. “Just thinking.”

“About her?”

There was no point denying it. Charles gave a small nod. “Yeah.”

Carlos didn’t respond at first, just rubbed his jaw and sat with it. Then, “She texted you again?”

“She did. A few times. I didn’t reply. She called, too. I ignored it. But…” Charles paused, his thumb tracing the rim of his glass. “I saw her. Not long ago. We... I just... We talked...”

Carlos raised a brow. “And?”

“And I didn’t feel hate. I wanted to. But it was just… quiet. I don’t know what that means.”

Carlos sat forward, elbows on his knees. “Look, man. You loved her. Like, deeply. And she wrecked you. I won’t lie. I hated what she did to you. Watching you get sick again? Hearing your voice break when you said her name?”

Charles’s jaw clenched.

“But—” Carlos softened, “I’ve seen how you were with her. You let her in in a way you don’t let anyone in. She saw you. And part of me wonders if… maybe she’s the only one who really has.”

Charles didn’t speak. He didn’t have to.

“So if she’s really sorry—and I mean truly—then maybe it’s not about what she deserves. Maybe it’s about what you’re still willing to risk.”

Charles looked out at the horizon. “And if I get hurt again?”

Carlos shrugged. “Then I’ll be here. To drag your sorry ass back from rock bottom again. And I'll send Rebecca to take care of her.”

They shared a weak laugh. A real one.

Next was his little brother.

The kitchen smelled like basil and garlic. Arthur was chopping vegetables with dramatic flair while Charles stirred a pot.

“You’re cutting those like you’re in a cooking show,” Charles teased.

Arthur grinned. “I like a little drama.”

Charles smiled, but it faded after a beat.

Arthur noticed. “Okay. Spill.”

Charles took a deep breath, stirring slower. “Do you remember when I told you about her? Back when it first started?”

Arthur nodded. “You wouldn’t shut up about her. Even when you tried to play it cool, you were lit up, bro. It was annoying.”

“I think I’m still in love with her.”

Arthur dropped the knife.

“Still?! After everything?!”

“I know how it sounds,” Charles said quickly. “But she’s been trying to reach out. And I can’t stop thinking about her. Not like I used to. It’s different now. I don’t hate her. I just… miss her.”

Arthur stared at him. “You mean to tell me that after she lied to your face, made you sick with guilt and anger, you’re still thinking about taking her back?”

Charles exhaled, defeated. “I don’t know what I’m thinking. That’s why I’m asking.”

Arthur shook his head, but there was no malice in it. “I hated her for what she did to you. But I remember what you looked like when you were with her. You were whole. And not just happy—settled. Like you’d found what you’d been searching for.”

Charles’s throat tightened.

“So yeah,” Arthur said, lowering his voice, “if she’s really changed—if you believe that—then maybe she is worth the risk.”

Then came the hardest conversation.

His mother poured the tea delicately, her hands practiced. The scent of chamomile filled the room.

Charles watched her for a while before speaking.

“Maman,” he said softly.

“Yes, mon cœur?”

“Do you remember her?”

She looked up from her cup. “Of course I do.”

“I mean… really remember her? What she was like?”

His mother studied him carefully, then set her cup down. “I remember how she made you laugh. I remember you humming in the kitchen while waiting for her to wake up. You cooked for her, didn’t you?”

He smiled faintly. “She always burned her toast.”

“I remember,” his mother said, her voice warm, “that you looked at her like she hung the stars.”

Silence stretched between them for a moment.

“She hurt me, Maman,” Charles said quietly. “Badly. But… I keep thinking about her. About what we had. And I wonder if maybe it’s not over. If maybe I should let her explain.”

His mother reached across the table and took his hand.

“I am your mother. I watched you break, Charles. It killed me. But I also saw how deeply you loved. That kind of love doesn’t just disappear.”

He swallowed hard, blinking quickly.

“If she is sorry,” she said, voice soft and certain, “and if you still love her… then you must ask yourself not what she did—but who she is now. People grow. Sometimes pain is the soil.”

Charles looked down at their hands.

“She was the one, wasn’t she?” his mother whispered.

“Yeah,” Charles said. “She still is.”

“If she’s sorry,” his mother said gently, “and you still love her… then don’t let pride decide for you.”

...

He almost misses it.

It’s early evening, and he’s coming home from the track—exhausted, hoodie over his head, sunglasses on, trying to stay anonymous in his own city. The building concierge catches him just as he’s stepping into the elevator.

“Monsieur Leclerc—ah, excuse me, someone left this for you this morning.”

A flat envelope. Cream paper, his name handwritten in a familiar curve. No return address, but his stomach tightens. He doesn’t need one.

He takes it with trembling fingers.

Back in his apartment, he ignores it for hours. It sits on his kitchen counter like it’s ticking. He showers, changes, pours a glass of wine, tries not to look at it—but it calls to him.

Finally, at midnight, he opens it.

It’s a letter. Handwritten, multiple pages, in ink slightly smudged in places like maybe she cried while writing it. The top corner is folded neatly, just like she used to do when she left him notes.

"Charles,

I don’t know if you’ll read this. I don’t even know if I should be writing it. But I’ve been selfish for so long, and I think I owe you something real—not to win you back, not to fix what I broke, but because the silence between us is screaming and I can’t pretend anymore.

I loved you before I realized it. I think that’s why I ruined it—I didn’t know what to do with something so good. I let people in who had no business standing between us. I didn’t protect what we had. I let myself become someone who didn’t deserve you.

I think about the way you looked at me when you laughed. That soft kind of awe like I’d done something magic by just existing. I think about how warm your hands were. How you always let me sleep in on your side of the bed. How you used to trace letters on my back when I couldn’t fall asleep.

You were so good to me.

I broke that. I know I did. And I would undo it if I could. But since I can’t, I’ll say this:

I’m trying to be better. I’ve cut people out. I’m showing up for myself the way you used to show up for me. And I’m sorry. For all of it.

If this is the last thing I ever get to say to you, let it be this—

You were my favorite moment in the world. I hope someday you’ll think of me kindly, even if you never forgive me.

—Yours, Y/N"

He stares at the pages for a long time. Doesn’t move. Just breathes her words in like smoke.

And for the first time in weeks, maybe months, he sits down. Really sits.

His chest aches. He hates how her voice still sounds in his head, how real it feels. He hates that it’s easier to be angry than it is to miss her. But now—this?

This ruins that armor. Shatters it.

Because maybe she’s still selfish. Maybe it’s too late. Maybe trust isn’t something that can grow back.

But maybe…

Maybe if I let her...

He exhales sharply, like he’s been holding something in since the moment she left.

And he picks up the letter again.

The flat was quiet—too quiet.

Charles sat on the floor of his living room, legs bent, back against the couch. His head tilted back, resting against the cushion. A cup of tea he hadn’t touched sat lukewarm on the coffee table.

The letter she'd written sat beside it. Emotional in a way she never let herself be out loud.

He hadn’t touched it in two days.

His phone buzzed again—another message he wouldn't open.

He closed his eyes.

And then, her voice came back to him—not from the videos, not from the calls, but from that night. A quiet, fragile moment she’d let him into, months ago. Something he hadn’t thought about in a long time.

They had been lying in his bed, the soft glow of the lamp casting shadows across her bare shoulder as she stared up at the ceiling, one of his fingers drawing lazy shapes on her spine.

“Do you ever think people are just… broken in a way that can’t be fixed?” she had asked. Her voice had been steady. But something about how still she lay told him it cost her to ask it.

He remembered frowning, brushing her hair from her face. “I think people get hurt,” he’d said. “But I think most can heal.”

She turned her head just slightly toward him. “Even if they push people away? Even if they… test them on purpose?"

His hand paused on her back.

She took a breath. “When I was seventeen, I told someone something important. I trusted them. And they used it to humiliate me. Everything I had said. Twisted. Laughed at. My friends turned on me. My father didn’t believe me. And I learned really fast that opening your mouth is just an invitation to be gutted.”

He had gone still. She had never told him this.

“I stopped telling people anything after that,” she whispered. “Stopped trusting them. And then I met you. And I thought… maybe I can give him a little. Just enough. Maybe he’ll stay.”

He had held her tighter that night. Kissed her forehead. Told her she never had to give more than she wanted to.

Now, sitting in silence, the memory punched him in the chest.

He had forgotten. Or maybe he hadn’t let himself remember.

All this time, he’d been thinking about what she did—what she lied about, what she hid, the pain she caused. But now…

Maybe she had been testing him. Pushing, sabotaging, trying to see when he’d leave. Maybe she believed he would. That everyone eventually did.

And he had.

He’d walked away.

The air felt heavy now, pressing on his chest.

She had been fighting ghosts while he’d been demanding clarity. She had been trying to protect herself in the only way she knew how.

He pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes.

God. She really was terrified of love.

He reached for a pen.

...

He doesn't tell anyone about what he's about to do- maybe because he's terrified, or maybe he's not ready to face all the disappointed faces.

He starts it three times before he gets it right. Rips up the first two.

“I don’t know what this is supposed to be.

I’ve been angry. And hurt. But mostly I’ve just been missing you. Missing what it felt like when everything was easy between us. Before I started questioning every word you said, every smile, every memory.

I think I’m tired of punishing both of us.

I’m not saying I forgive you yet. I’m not saying I can forget what happened. But if you still feel what I feel — if even a part of you meant what you wrote — then maybe we don’t have to keep pretending this is over.

You know where to find me. I’ll wait. Once.”

He folds it, puts it in an envelope with her name on it.

He leaves it at the front desk of the building that is all too familiar.

Then he goes home, tosses his phone aside, and sits on the balcony. Waiting. Quietly, painfully, hoping.

She’s been quiet lately.

Not the kind of quiet that means peace — but the kind that stretches too long, echoes off the walls of her apartment. The kind of quiet that makes her hear things she’s trying to forget: his laugh, the way he used to knock gently before coming in, the rustle of his jacket as he draped it over her couch.

Since everything fell apart, she hasn’t been sleeping well. Or eating properly. She plays the piano sometimes, but even that feels hollow. Her days feel like waiting rooms.

That evening, she’s coming home later than usual. The sky is that dull gray that never quite becomes sunset. She’s tired. Her heels click up the steps to her apartment building, and she’s just nodding a tired hello to the man at the front desk when he calls out.

“Miss,” he says, holding up a plain envelope. “This was left for you earlier today. No return address.”

She frowns, hesitates. “Who left it?”

He shrugs. “Didn’t say. Just asked me to make sure it got to you.”

Something about the way it’s written — her name in that familiar, slanted handwriting — makes her heart jump.

She takes it with both hands, murmurs a thank you, and rides the elevator up with shaking fingers.

She doesn’t even make it inside.

Still standing outside her apartment door, she tears open the envelope. Her eyes scan the letter once, then again. Her breath catches.

She can barely read the last few lines through the tears stinging her lashes.

You know where to find me. I’ll wait. Once.

The letter crumples slightly in her hand as she grips it.

And then she runs.

Down the hall. Back into the elevator.

She doesn’t know what she’ll say. Doesn’t know how it will go.

But she knows exactly where he’ll be.

And for the first time in weeks, her heart is pounding for a different reason — hope.

She’s not thinking straight, not thinking at all.

She’s running through Monaco’s dusky streets in her flats, the same ones she changed into after work, clutching the letter like it might slip away if she lets go.

She knows where he’ll be. There’s only one place it could be — the little overlook at the top of the hill, the one that stares out over the marina, quiet and hidden. He took her there once, months ago, when the world felt weightless and full of maybe.

She takes the stairs two at a time, lungs burning. Her hair’s a mess. Her heart is a war drum in her chest.

The moment she rounds the last corner, she sees him.

Leaning against the railing, hands in his pockets, head down. Just… waiting. Like he said he would.

She stops, breath catching.

It’s only when he lifts his head — slowly, like he knew she’d be there, like he didn’t want to hope but did anyway — that she starts walking again.

Their eyes meet.

No words at first.

Just silence.

He blinks, jaw clenching, like he doesn’t quite believe she came. “I wasn’t sure you’d come.”

She walks straight into him. Doesn’t stop. Wraps her arms around his middle and buries her face in his chest.

“im so sorry” she says, her voice thick.

And he catches her like instinct — like he’d been hoping for it, like he needed to feel it to believe it. He exhales shakily, holding her like it’s the only thing keeping him grounded. “I’m still so mad,” he says softly, “but I still… God, I missed you.”

“I know,” she whispers. “I know. And I’m sorry. For real this time. No games, no lies. Just… me.”

His arms don’t just wrap around her — they clutch her. One arm around her shoulders, the other around her back, squeezing her like she might vanish again if he loosens his grip. His face tips down into her hair, and she can feel the tremble in his breath.

Eventually, he pulls back just enough to cup her face in both hands. His thumbs brush her cheeks, eyes scanning every part of her — the tremble in her mouth, the tears drying along her lashes, the desperate flicker behind her gaze.

Then his lips find hers — slow, aching, like he’s relearning the shape of her. The kiss is deep, full of everything they’ve been too scared to say. Her fingers tangle in his shirt. His arms wrap around her waist, pulling her flush against him like he can’t let her go — not again.

Like forgiveness might live somewhere between their mouths.

When they finally pull back, forehead to forehead, he whispers, “Don’t run from me again.”

She nods, breathless.

And high above the glowing marina, in the soft hush of Monaco night, something fragile begins to heal.

KEEPS GETTING BETTER incoming...

[callieisto]

☆ Kinktober Day 4: Aphrodisiac! ☆

(fem!reader)

Sam hated witches.

They were nearly impossible to deal with, mischievous, and most of the time, they had no real idea what they were getting themselves into. But the ones that did know were the ones Sam hated the most. Because they did stuff like this.

This older grandma-type had seen you and Sam when you came to interview her about some teenagers disappearing, and then claiming they spent three weeks in the woods as actual animals- squirrels and deer and rabbits. Due to what they claimed was a witch, and what the police claimed to be hallucinogenic mushrooms (or something.)

She decided you needed a little push in the right direction, and had drugged the two of you with an aphrodisiac in the tea she offered. Too bad the kids had managed to describe her only a few hours later. Dean had shot her in the head before she could really tell them what it did beyond the whole 'making you really horny' thing. The spell, drug, whatever it was, had taken its sweet time kicking in. He thought it would be okay. All three of you did.

A town over, after the burning and the burying and the ruining of spell ingredients, it had hit him in the car- and you moments later. He managed to tell Dean to pull into a motel and splurge for three rooms- because no way was he going to share with his brother, and no way was he going to share with you.

You were just- Well, you were... you were something to him, something sweet and perfect and entirely untouchable. Besides, even seeing you right now might cause his heart to burst, because you raise his resting heart rate by like twenty BPM just by existing around him, and he can already feel his heart thundering against his ribs. He's sweatier than he's ever been in his life, naked on the edge of his bed in the motel room with a hand around his dick.

He's trying to jerk off to this terrible cable porn, but he keeps imagining you between his legs, your eyes fluttering so pretty as you lick up the underside of his dick, over that vein at the tip that makes him shudder, and-

He cums with a little strangled gasp and a whimper, not expecting his release to creep up on him like that. He pants, eyeing the spot where the cum soaks into the rug. He thinks 'god, finally', because maybe that would make everything better.

But he's still hard as a rock. And his head is still foggy. And if he's hearing things right, there's a timid little knocking sound at his door, but that might also be a hallucination due to his brain leaking out of his ears. He's so hot. He feels like he's melting.

The knock comes again, louder this time. Sam clears his head enough to tug on his boxers as he stumbles towards the door, still a little shaky from his orgasm. He looks through the peephole, and...

Shit.

It's you.

He opens the door slightly. He just stares at you- you're wrapped in a bathrobe, you're squirming under his gaze, you're sweaty and you look weaker than he's ever seen you. You're so perfect. So beautiful.

"Hey," He croaks out, voice hoarse. "How are you holding up?"

He's never wanted to kiss you more in his entire life.

Instead, he opens the door all the way and ushers you inside. The idea of anyone else seeing you looking like this makes him feel an emotion he doesn't quite want to deal with, and the door closes and locks behind you. He offers you a weak little smile.

"It's, um, it's worse than I thought it would be." You manage, shrugging as you sit down on the edge of his bed. He winces internally when you cast your eyes towards the cum staining the carpet. You don't say anything.

"Yeah, it's... not great." He manages, running a hand through his hair. "I tried to do some research on it when we got here, but, uh..."

"You got too horny to think?" You offered, laughing weakly. Sam nodded with a breathless chuckle.

"Yeah, um- sorry about the porn. On the tv." He said awkwardly, moving to turn it off. "I thought it would help, but it really didn't."

"It's okay." You whispered, smiling as he turned to you. "I don't think there's really anything that could help."

"I can think of something." Sam says with a laugh, shaking his head.

"Yeah?" And you tilt your head and flutter your eyelashes. His mind goes blank, just a little. He swallows dryly.

"... Yeah."

Sam swears he has no idea what happened. It's like everything blurred together, and suddenly he was on top of you, kissing the air straight out of your lungs. And his body stopped hurting. And the fog cleared a little bit.

"Fuck," He rumbles against your lips. "Fuck, you taste so good."

You moan all sweet into his mouth and he gets dizzy, if he wasn't already hard, he would've been, because you're just so soft and so fucking wet-

He's rutting his cock against your pussy, and fumbling with the tie of your bathrobe. It falls away, and something cracks in his head because his tip catches at your entrance and the moan he lets out is guttural. He feels wild, he feels hungry, and he wants to fill you up with cum until it leaks out around him.

"Shh, shh," He hushes breathlessly, because you're mewling and it's so cute he might die. "Shh, I've got you, d-doesn't it feel better? You want me to make you feel better?"

You nod, lightly knocking your forehead against his, and he laughs softly. "Sam," you whine, and your hands come up to curl around the base of his neck. "Need you, please..."

"I'm here," He coos, sweet and soft. "I'm here, angel, I've got you." He pushes in, slowly, kissing all over your face as he does. Once he's settled, he takes a moment to pull back and drink you in. You're so pretty, so impossibly pretty, and softer than any girl he's ever been with before.

He thrusts, just a little, shallowly, and the noise you make is almost enough to have him cumming right then and there. He breathes out weakly, thumb sliding through your folds to find your clit. He fumbles, a little- sue him for being nervous- but finds it eventually, rubbing it slowly as he bottoms out in you over and over again.

You're whining, squirming, and- holy shit- you've cum already, just so sweet and sensitive for him, tensing and crying out and he has half a mind to thank the witch profusely because he never would've dared to touch you if this hadn't happened.

"You're so pretty." He breathes, and his voice breaks when he thrusts back in. He's trying so hard not to cum right then and there. "God, oh god, I want to fill you up so bad. Wanna see you dripping with it, oh god."

"Pleasepleaseplease," you beg. "Please, Sammy, want it, need it-" And with that, Sam's mind fucking shatters. He registers that he cums again, register that you cum again, and he's still fucking hungry, wants to stay like this forever.

He keeps going, working both of you through another orgasm, whimpering breathless little moans of your name, babbling about how good you feel, his head dropping into the curve where your neck meets your shoulder, and he whines like a dog.

The rest of the night is a blur. At some point, he thinks the aphrodisiac wears off, but his memory blots out a little ways before that. Waking up in the morning, he's still in bed, and you're tucked into his chest. His head is spinning. He sits up, and you mumble sleepily, and his heart clenches in his chest.

"Good morning." He whispers, kissing over your face. When he gets a little giggly smile from you, he smiles back.

And then he pulls out. A little flood of cum follows.

And Sam has officially been ruined, because he's going to have to ask Dean for Plan B and he's never going to live it down- but also, he's had you, he's never going to let you go, because you're just so perfect.

He'd endure a lifetime of teasing for you.

☆ taglist!

@adhd-introvert

[talaok]

Daddy knows best

Pairing: Step-dad!Joel Miller x Step-daughter!reader

Summary: Joel has given you homework, and although you've never watched porn, one particular thing you see does pique your interest (this is part of a series but can be read alone)

Warnings: step-incest, manipulation, straight-out lying, hence, dub-con, Perv Joel, predatory behavior, very very naive and innocent reader |Smut| fingering, squirting, anal play, one lil pussy slap, unprotected p in v sex, creampie, allusion to oral sex (m), he takes a pic, and LOADS of daddy-kink (Joel is also meaner in this one)

This is a dark fic, so please for the love of god read the warnings and just scroll if you don't like what you see.

a/n: I am a very sick individual. dont read this. honestly. just dont

Pt. 1 - Pt. 2 - Pt. 3 - Pt.4

"Hi daddy!" you smiled, shutting the door to your room to greet him at the entrance.

"hello sweetheart" he grinned at your excitement getting rid of his jacket and throwing it on the coat stand before his eyes traveled to you, and god was he thankful they did.

That tiny baby blue skirt he's bought you was a damn good investment, and your own touch of that little fucking white top was just as good.

There you were, on display for him, all for him... and you didn't even know.

"I like the outfit" he smirked, tilting his head to get a better look at your naked thighs, thighs he now knew from experience to be soft and just... perfect.

"thank you daddy" you giggled, smiling happily

"You know what you need to do sugar, go on" he gestured, his voice deep and almost strained at the thought of what was about to happen.

It had turned into a routine now, but his dick certainly never got used to it.

"of course" you nodded, obedient as ever, your hands going to the hem of your skirt and slowly, slowly bringing it up- up enough to show him your bare core.

Panties weren't allowed anymore.

He didn't know what it was, but there was just something about the fact that he had the power to make you do that, to make you show your whole naked pussy to him in the middle of the living room, in the way your eyes remained on him, patiently waiting for further instructions, pending from his every word, there was something about that that made him thank each existing god every single time.

He got his good look, and then with just a nod he'd made you cover yourself up again.

"good girl" he smiled, getting rid of his boots as you eagerly stalked closer to him.

"how's my favorite girl doing?" he asked, his voice sweet as he wrapped one arm around you, pushing you closer to him.

"good" you nodded "my exam went well today at school"

Your math exam, the same one he'd watched you study a whole week for, even "helping out" in his own way once or twice... a kiss down there for every right answer had become your new favorite study method.

"mhh, of course" he smirked, stroking your cheek "pretty and smart, now that's my girl"

You bit your lip at his words, that warm feeling traveling between your legs once again.

"a-and how did your day go?" you realized was your turn to ask once you got out of the trance his eyes made you spiral into every time.

"mh" he hummed, shutting his eyes for a moment as if to clear his mind of bad memories from his day "Not great sweetheart... but it would have been a hell of a lot worse if I didn't know I was getting you all to myself tonight"

Once again, heat shot to your cheeks at the flattery.

"you thought about me?"

"'f course I did" he spoke softly "couldn't stop thinkin' about all the ways I can help you out tonight"

"yeah?" your eyes widened, excitement piercing through your tone.

"oh yeah" he growled, kissing you as his hand squeezed one of your asscheeks.

You whimpered into his mouth, and he leaned away.

"did you do your homework sugar?"

"mh-mh" you nodded, "I didn't have a lot today, just English" 

A chuckle rumbled deep from his chest

He did that often, smiling and laughing at something you said, and each time, you were left confused as to why.

"not those homework, babygirl"

The sound of a choked "oh" came out of your mouth, and that smug, predatory smile he always seemed to have around you persisted on his lips.

"y-yes" you said finally "yes I-I was doing them now"

"yeah?" he grinned, his fingers on your ass trailing lower and lower... and then lower, until his digits connected with your pussy- your wet, drenched pussy.

"I can feel it" he chuckled, his fingers sliding into you for no more than a second, 

"daddy" you whimpered

"clean daddy's fingers" he shushed you, bringing the proof of your arousal to your lips, and watching you closely, as you obeyed his command.

It was salty, saltier than his come, you noticed, licking his fingers clean.

"you were in your room?" 

you nodded

"let's go then"

__ __ __

Your room was the same as always, pink everywhere, filling every inch of the space, your curtains were drawn, but some light still soaked through them, and the lamp on your bedside did the rest.

You walked before him, as he had instructed, and when you both entered, he closed the door behind you.

You were moving to the bed where you'd left your laptop, when Joel's voice stopped you.

"What's that shirt doing on the floor?"

"oh I must have left it there when I changed" you explained, crouching down to pick it up 

"not like that" He tutted "Bend down, keep your legs straight"

You frowned, but obeyed nonetheless, feeling cool air hit your core

"stay like that" 

"w-why?"

"'cause daddy's gotta take a picture," he said, pulling out his phone and doing just that, a damn good view in front of him.

"w-why are you always taking pictures?"

he rolled his eyes at your need to question him.

"cause they help me keep track of how healthy you are" he lied through his teeth, walking to you until he could place one of his hands on each of your asscheeks, stroking lazily.

"for example, right now your pussy's very healthy" he drawled, one hand leaving your ass to land a quick slap to your core.

You jolted forward, gasping at the feeling.

It stung, but it also felt kinda... good

He chuckled softly again

"got it?"

"y-yes daddy" you gulped, as he helped you get up, groaning lowly at the feeling of your ass meeting his hard cock.

he turned you around, moving some hair out of your face.

"take off your top"

You did.

"now your skirt"

Again, you did,

remaining completely naked before him.

"good girl" he breathed, his index fingers traveling from the valley of your breasts to your navel, his eyes following suit "Now show me what you found" he nodded to the computer,

He sat on the bed, back against the headboard, and then placed you onto his lap.

He smiled at what he saw on your laptop.

"I-I went to the site you told me" you breathed, your voice no more than a whisper.

"so what do you think of porn?" he smirked

"I-I" Although you were naked, it felt a thousand degrees in that room, and his hands stoking your thighs and your nipples certainly weren't helping "I like... some of it"

"Which ones?"

"the ones that don't feel f-fake" you swallowed thickly 

He just grinned

"and did you find a favorite one like I asked you?"

You bit your lip as you nodded, tapping on your computer to switch tabs

"this one"

It was an amateur one, not in hd, the camera not even straight, but the couple... you really liked them

"play it"

with a tap of your middle finger, soft moans started filling the room, as the man in the video started pleasuring the woman with his mouth, grabbing at every piece of her with his hands, as if he couldn't help it, as if he wanted to devour all of her.

You didn't even notice your hips starting to move on their own accord, trying to grind onto something- anything, as your thighs squeezed shut.

Joel chuckled behind you, his eyes not on the screen but on you.

"what do you like about it?" 

His lips met with your shoulder as his fingers pinched your nipple, and there was nothing that could have stopped the moan that escaped you from doing so.

"T-they just look so... happy" you whispered, trying not to cry because of how desperately needy you felt between your legs "so in love"

This time, Joel managed to bite down his laugh

"a-and I like-"

you stopped, too embarrassed all of a sudden

"what?"

"n-nothing"

Joel shook his head, his mouth to your ear

"You're drenching my pants, sweetheart, it ain't nothing"

You almost moaned at just the sound of how deep and hot his voice sounded

"I like that" you confessed, urging him to look at the screen

"you like that?"

he didn't even sound like himself anymore, just a wolf, a wolf holding a defenseless bunny.

"y-yes"

"you like that she's on top of him" he taunted, "that she's riding his cock" he murmured "'s that right darlin'?"

"y-yes daddy" you cried, turning your head to look at him, to beg at him "Please" you whimpered "please daddy do something"

It wasn't just heat now, it was burning flames of need pooling between your thighs.

"what about the other part of the homework?" he didn't mind your pleas

"I- I couldn't daddy" you whined, real tears now stinging your eyes "I couldn't do it, not without you daddy- please"

"aw baby" he cooed "my dumb little baby" fake concern filled his features "Show me what you were doing"

"no please daddy just- you do it"

You were going crazy, literally crazy because of how utterly desperate you were.

"stop whining and do as I say" he ordered, his voice colder "or I'm done helping you out"

As if, he laughed in his mind

You obeyed immediately.

You needed him to help you out, there was so much you still had to learn, and you couldn't possibly teach all that to yourself, you couldn't even masturbate for god's sake.

"lay on your back and show me" he said again, as he got up.

He closed your laptop and set in on the floor as you positioned yourself in front of him.

You slowly planted your feet onto the mattress, spreading your legs.

His ravenous gaze fixed on your core.

"go on"

So you did,

One of your trembling fingers traveled to your core, and slowly- oh so slowly- you pushed it inside of you, whimpering lightly.

He didn't say anything, and so you started moving it, trying to mimic what you've seen him so countless times now... and failing miserably.

"I-I can't" an unsatisfied whine fled your mouth

"'f course you can't, not like that" Joel smirked devilishly "Put another finger in"

"b-but"

"just do it"

You tried, you really tried... but you were so scared, it just felt like too much, like you couldn't handle all that

"I-It doesn't fit- it's too much" you cried "Please daddy help me- please please please"

God, but did you ever stop whining?

And so partially because he wanted you to stop, and partially because he just wanted to, he grabbed your waist, pulling you to the edge of the bed, and dropped to his knees.

"It doesn't fit?" he mocked, your fingers pulling out of you just in time for him to plunge two of his own in.

You gasped and moaned and cried all at once.

"Then how come this little pussy can take my whole cock?" he didn't even wait for you to adjust, to stop squirming, before his index finger thrust inside you "How come I can fit three of my fingers in here?"

Real tears fell from your eyes as you moaned and arched your back like a cat.

You tried shutting your legs, but he spread them apart mercilessly, gripping your thighs as his fingers thrust in and out of you at a scathing pace

He'd never been like this, so fast, so mean

You didn't know if you were breathing, you didn't know if you were alive, if you had fainted, you didn't know anything besides how good you were feeling, how much pleasure he was giving you after you'd been starved so long for it.

"is it too much now?" he mocked, watching you fall apart in front of him "because it looks like it ain't" he growled "it looks like i could fit all my fingers in here and it still wouldn't be enough"

You moaned, you moaned so loud your throat hurt.

"'s that what you want, you want to be completely filled like a little slut?"

slut

he'd never called you that- why did he call you that? Why did it make you clench around him? why why why-

"no please daddy" you moaned "'s too much"

"three fingers is enough for this little pussy?" he teased 

"yes daddy yes- I-"

It was like making a deal with the devil, if you weren't specific enough...

"what about this other pretty hole?" he smirked, his fingers slowing as two of his fingers from his left hand reached between your asscheeks, grazing your other hole 

"d-daddy" you just stuttered

"I think we need to start stretching this one darlin'"

You gasped, as he used your moisture to wet his middle finger and trailed downwards

"I- b-but daddy"

"daddy's gonna fuck it one of these days" he interrupted "and we don't want it to hurt do we?"

You tried to calm your breathing as you answered

"y-you mean you want t-to-"

He chuckled, his fingers pushing into your g-spot making your mind just a big dumb mess.

"I mean I'm gonna fuck your ass babygirl" he explained, his finger pushing more and more at the entrance "it's another lesson, you see" he murmured "but I need to prepare you for it- I need to stretch you out real good for my cock"

His cock. Inside there. How on Earth was that gonna happen?

"That's why you're gonna be good and let me put this finger in here" he emphasized his words by pushing slightly "aren't you sweetheart?"

"I-is it gonna hurt?"

"not if you relax" he cocked a brow "are you gonna relax for me?"

"y-yes" you surrendered "yes daddy"

And that was that.

He pushed his finger into you, slowly, even though there was nothing he would have liked more to just thrust it, and hear your shocked cry.

But the moan you let out- oh the moan you let out was worth every moment of his painful self control.

It wasn't particularly pleasant at first, but then... then it was like fire spread through you, and when the fingers in your pussy started moving faster it was like gasoline dunked onto the flames.

it didn't just feel good, it felt... new.

It felt like heaven and hell altogether, and then it felt like... it felt like you needed to pee.

"d-daddy!" you gasped, your hips grinding shamelessly onto him "daddy's not right- I-I"

tears rolled down your temples, and your belly twisted into knots as your walls tightened and tightened around him.

"Shhh" he shushed you "let go" he said, "let go darlin'"

And so you did.

A rainstorm of pleasure putting out all the fire inside you. Pure, divine bliss took over you as you looked at him, crying out and squirming uncontrollably, until it was all over... until you realized what had just happened.

Whatever that was

"o-oh my god" your eyes widened, taking in his drenched shirt, his wet mouth and chin which you didn't even notice he'd put on you as you soaked him to get a taste "I-I'm so sorry daddy- I- I don't know what-"

He was on you before you could blink.

"sorry?" he laughed "what are you sorry about?"

"I-I-"

"you squirted" he grinned "ain't there nothin' wrong with that... the opposite actually"

"S-squirted?"

"that's right"

"and you're not mad?"

"why would I be mad?" he asked, amusement and thrill glossing his eyes "It's just like when daddy comes all over your face babygirl" he explained "You like that, don't you?"

"mh-mh" you nodded

his cock twitched at that

"And I like when you come all over mine baby"

"oh"

"yeah" he chuckled, kissing you deeply "I'm gonna make you squirt every fucking day from now on sweetheart"

You could only smile before he kissed you again

"now how 'bout we do that thing you saw?" he asked, "you wanna ride my cock sweetheart?"

"yes" you nodded eagerly

"then let's get to it, shall we?"

He gave you one last kiss, before he leaned back, undressing completely.

He chuckled as he caught you eating him up with your eyes, but said nothing as he laid on his back.

"c'mere" was all he said, grabbing your waist as you sat on top of him, your core inches away from his cock.

your hands raked his chest, stroking and admiring him, before you looked at his hungry gaze, and asked:

"what do I do?"

His eyes fell to where his cock sat on his belly

"take my dick in your hand"

You did as instructed, mesmerized by how big and beautiful it looked.

"now raise your hips a little, and slide me into you"

You did what he said, but just as he started entering you, you froze, the feeling foreign and not... good.

The woman in the video seemed to enjoy it so much, why can't I?

"you gotta relax" Joel explained, his right hand going to your clit "Let me in" he murmured, drawing circles on your bud "it'll feel good babygirl, just let daddy in"

And so, slowly, slowly you started sinking onto his manhood, whimpers and moans fleeing your throat with every inch added.

Util finally, you had done it.

"o-oh my god" you choked at the feeling.

He was deeper than he'd ever been, that you ever thought possible.

"good girl" he smirked

You didn't even have time to think about what you were doing that your hips were already moving, grinding onto him, bringing heaven to your core.

"O-Oh m-my"

"bounce on it darlin'"

Your hands sat on his chest as you obeyed, feeling his grip on your waist tighten as you raised and lowered onto his cock, moaning as you threw your head back.

now you understood that woman, It felt amazing

And so you started doing it again and again and again, clawing at his chest as groans rumbled from it.

"good god" he grunted "f-fuck"

"it feels so good daddy" you breathed, your lungs burning for oxygen

"yeah? You like riding me, baby?"

"yes" you cried "I like it so much daddy" 

"like having my cock so deep inside ya?"

"god yes" you whimpered 

"yeah?" he mocked, raising his hips to meet yours and forcing a roar out of you

"daddy! I-"

"you're coming already?"

"y-yes daddy I-"

He cocked a brow as he watched you

"think you deserve to?" he asked, "after acting like that before?"

"please" you begged, your voice nothing but a thread "please daddy let me come"

he remained stoic, and you were so close...

"please daddy, I'm sorry I'll be better, I'll be good- I promise"

He smirked now

"you promise?"

A nod, that was all you could offer

"No more questioning me when I'm trying to help?"

"n-no" you shook your head "I'll do whatever you tell me, whatever you want"

That's all he needed

"come on my cock sugar" he ordered "come like the good little girl you are"

You swore you blacked out after that, the pleasure was so deep and so strong it knocked you out.

The next thing you knew, you were laying beside him, your head on his chest, his come leaking out of you.

he'd already told you you needed to tell mom you wanted to take the pill

The words were out of you before you could stop them.

"Y-you were a little... mean before-" you swallowed "when you were using your- fingers"

He groaned internally

"I know babygirl" he cooed, caressing your arms soothingly "but you were acting like a little brat, and I just- I ran out of patience"

"o-oh" 

"I'm here to help you, so it's hard for me when you act like that, understand?"

God how stupid you had been.

He was doing you a favor, and you were acting like a child.

"I-I'm sorry daddy" You pouted, leaning up to kiss him "I'm really sorry I won't do it again"

"thank you sweetheart" he smiled "but I think there's a better way to use that pretty mouth of yours to apologize"

You gulped, as you followed his gaze to his cock

"I'm kind of tired daddy" you murmured

"I know you are" he cooed "but daddy knows best, baby"

"You made me really mad sugar" he explained "And if you want to apologize real good... you're gonna need to suck daddy's cock"

And just like that, you were descending down his body.

[puripurin]

— "What the fuck." You started at the merman who wriggled around for space. His eyes looked at you in fear as he saw you, before a blush had spread across his face.

Up until 30 seconds ago, you had lived a normal life, well, except for the obscene amount of work you were stressed out with. So you hopped on the boat your parents had gifted you some years ago and sailed into the sea. The feel of the ocean breeze hitting your face was a familiar sensation to you.

This was because your parents were fishermen and loved to eat seafood, and naturally, you had gravitated towards seafood, but with prices these days and your never-ending workload, it didn't allow you to do anything without setting you back on your tight deadlines. Until today.

You had gotten a whole week of paid vacation because a coworker was threatening to bring them to court for a long list of harassment. So they gave the people who worked the most a one week paid vacation. Though, to her, it wasn't enough, so you're getting a paid vacation week while they are still going to get sued. Whatever, its their fault either way.

Anyways, how did you reel in a merman that shouldn't even exist? Frankly, you don't know either. You had accidentally started to daydream, which turned into you not realizing something was caught, so instinctively, you were able to reel in a merman.

"H-huuuumann?" His deep moss green eyes stared at up at you with interest whilst you nearly got blinded by the shimmering gleem of his scales that were scattered across his cheeks. He stopped his advancements towards you until it was difficult to hold up his neck to see you.

"Erm... sorry for catching you, I was daydreaming. I'll unhook the fish hook attached to you..." You apologized and went down to unhook him, only for him to pull down your pants and underwear down, making you fall on the bench below you and stuffing his face in your genitals.

"Hey! W-what are you doing?" You pushed his face away, to which he pouted to. He sat there for a while as you tried to push him off the boat, to no avail.

"I... Accceppt thhis marrriaage!" He excitedly said as he tugged on your pants to gently pull it off again, but you held on tightly to your pants.

"What marriage? I didn't propose to you?" You evaded from his pulling hands in confusion.

"Whennn youuu reeeeledd mmeee inn dummmyy!" He slurred his words once more. "Shtop! I waant too tasstte you firrst beeforrre you tassteeee mee!" He huffed before his nails turned into sharp claws that shreaded your pants, then pulled down your underwear again and happily stuffing his face and licking your crotch with his tongue that felt rough.

Once more, you tried to move away but only ended up moaning at the feeling. Your face was slightly hot as you looked away but was swiftly pulled back in for a kiss, tasting your own fluids.

"Ah... finally... now it's your turn, cutie pie. We have to go to my hometown to get married <3"

"WHAT!?!? Firstly, no! Secondly, i will drown!"

"... Who said you can say no? When you reeled me, it was akin to a marriage proposal. Also, that's why you suck my dick and kiss me <333"

"WHAT--"

Was supposed to be posted yesterday, but when i saved a portion of it, i didn't see that i was save so i went back in to edit it to see what's rong before i saved it and for a slpilt second i saw the rest of it before it saved, so i lost majority of my work.

So now it looks like tjis. Womp womp. I think tjis is an afab reader? But i tried to make it gn as possible but i wannted a weird ass mermaid culture where to speak another's language, you gotta eat them out/suck them off before kissing person to speak. At first i wanted him to just kiss in order to get the language js like starfire but i was like,, so what do i do with him tryna eat you out??,, then boom yeahh.

Also, yo quero voy en me casaaaaaa *cries pathetically* No me gusta Español :((((((( not proofread. L

Edit: i forgot about tags. Mb.

[narcjsistx]

— 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐓𝐇 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐔𝐒 ᡣ𐭩

all the information here ; PART TWO

Hiding from the entire world for a week had been easy enough: he didn't normally use his phone much, ReAl had casually given all the players days off, and Girolan was traveling to America for an environmental conference. Tanzeku's entry into his home in Madrid had been fairly painless, and the small bed he had set up next to his had quickly become the only place where he could be left safely

From the first day the child became his responsibility, his phone had done nothing but "Immediate Full Time Babysitter" in the search bar. He had seen so many profiles in the last few days that he had learned some of them by heart, but none of them completely convinced him: they were all profiles of women with experience, at least 10 years older than him, and above all, with lives outside of their work. He didn't even know why, but these requirements made him think they weren't suitable. He thought that what he needed was a young woman, maybe younger than him, and with absolutely zero experience. If she had been like that he could have paid her less than necessary and, above all, made the whole thing less of a problem, because with zero life outside of work she could always be with Tanzeku. But most of all, he needed someone who could keep the secret of this unknown son, whose existence no one in the world was supposed to know. But no one seemed to have these requirements, at least until the day the same site recommended the profile of a girl who had just signed up, with still no possible requests from other users

Your profile had all the information he was looking for: 19 years old, needs immediate work because she just finished school and the possibility of being with the child 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Sae hadn't even seen the photos you had posted of yourself, he had directly paid the first month's salary proposed by your profile and had sent you his address

The next morning, you found yourself in front of the door of the most important penthouse of the neighborhood. You had lived in Madrid since you were a kid, and this neighborhood had always been famous for being home to the stars of the country but also of those abroad. You thought you had come to the wrong house, but when Sae Itoshi himself opened the door for you, you almost died. You had been watching his games since he joined ReAl, and now he was in front of you?

"You are Y/n? The babysitter?" the boy asks, and you look around a little confused "Umh... yeah? It's me. But I think I got the wrong house..." you say uncertainly, but he shakes his head "You didn't get the wrong house. Come in" he says, making room for you to enter. You gulp down a lump of saliva, even more confused: does he even know that you're a babysitter? Does he have kids? Maybe it's just a strange dream

But when you enter the living room of the house and see a baby less than a month old, the blood in your veins freezes. Sae notices the change in your expression, as he picks up Tanzeku "Before anything, I must warn you of the most important thing. Yes, I have a son, his name is Tanzeku. This child must remain a secret within the world" he says seriously, and you find yourself seeing the soccer player with a completely new look "A secret...?" you ask looking at the child, and he nods "A complete secret. Only you and I know about the existence of this child... apart from the mother, obviously. I need you to be with him constantly, I don't have the possibility to do that" he says coming closer and giving you the baby, which you pick up and hold gently "I don’t need you to clean the house, do chores… you’re not a maid. But you need to be this baby’s guardian angel, okay?" he says, caressing the child's cheek, who instinctively rests his head against your chest. You nod, thinking back to the whole thing "How does it work with the hours? I put 24/7 availability on the website, but we’ve never talked about it" you say, cradling the little one, and Sae nods "The penthouse is big. You can live upstairs, there’s a whole section of the house that’s unused. I’ll pay your taxes to stay here, you don’t have to worry about that" he says seriously, sitting on the sofa and looking at his son, his gaze a little dull when he thinks that he is entrusting his son's life to another person "Remember. It's a secret. Our secret from today. You got it, Y/n?" asks for the umpteenth time

"I understand. I understand everything" you say cradling Tanzeku in your arms. It's all so surprising that you don't know whether to be surprised by the fact that Sae Itoshi, the ReAl midfielder and one of the most beloved players of the entire country, has a son or by the fact that you are just a few meters away from the player and that from now on his house will also be your house. It could be the beginning of the most beautiful part of your life or your worst nightmare ever

TAGLIST: @lincqx ; @irethepotato ; @nevvynev ; @vaelils ; @levihanmyotp ; @lil-lia12 ; @princesssae ; @chuurinnie ; @llearlert ; @medd2005 ; @captainshindo ; @inojinieeee ; @laaalaaaloooppppsiiieeeee ; @rroxii ; @heartbrii ; @cellephone ; @simp-for-wanderer ; @beepbopzlorp ; @sugurus-star ; @chiizuyu ; @tenjikusstuff4 ; @syleepy ; @saeris-world ; @s4-mmy ; @itsssyagurll ; @ar1sc0rn3r ; @tsukimoon-chan ; @90s-belladonna ; @kiokos ; @appl3-0rchard ; @linsay0 ; @certifiedyapperrrr ; @werfiedeii ; @mariaelizabeh21-blog1 ; @ann242629 ; @vashyuu ; @pjofics ; @dontmindtheevie ; @otakusimp1

[pineapple-downside-up-cake]

Having a wretched day and decided to take it out on Ghost. I lost steam towards the end for which I am sorry. Smut coming next week as a consolation prize.

Olfactory memory? Yes? Yes.

Cw: PTSD, PTSD induced domestic violence, angst not quite comfort but we're trending positive

Ex-military Ghost with civilian reader.

You are sunshine. Heroin. The drug that's made him feel like he's swimming, not drowning, for the first time in decades.

There are things he can't tell you, but there are also things he won't. He may have, at one point of time. He had readied himself for it, waiting for a vulnerable moment, but he likes being just Simon to you.

Ghost is a relic of war, a hero buried in a box in his crawlspace.

It feels too late now.

He doesn't want to see the horror in your eyes, when he tells you about Roba. Things you should probably know, things that would help inform your interactions.

He's such a piece of dirt.

You deserve better, but for some fucking reason you seem to want him, and he has every intention of doing his best to be a good partner for you.

He helps around the house. He takes turns cooking.

He doesn't yell or snipe, even when you drive him crazy, leaving your dirty clothes on the bathroom floor.

He does his best to be there for you, and hopes that it's enough.

And it is. Before Scotland.

Look.

Look.

You've seen the Princess Bride. You know men in masks are not to be trusted.

You also know the man on your hands is more Wesley and less Dread Pirate Roberts, even if he looks like the brute squad.

You promised yourself, somewhat naïvely, that you wouldn't be a beacon for anyone ever again - you weren't strong enough to hold two heads above water, not forever, but damned if Simon doesn't make you want to try.

He'd crept under your skin with his dessicating wit and genuine interest in you, and maybe your daddy issues were showing, but there's a level of reliability in Simon you never thought you'd see in a man.

You found yourself going to drastic measures - you're embarrassed to say you haven't put in that much work for a guy since high school, but you like Simon.

A lot.

You haven't dealt with military personally, but you know there can be scars. Wounds that are harder to talk about than more common place traumas.

Simon still talks with his old squad, has an annual Guy Fawkes day cookout with them. Means he has people who know, who can understand without having to be told, what might go on in his head on darker days.

You are not to be left out, however. You have the whole internet at your disposal, and you research military traumas and coping strategies until you feel like you're preparing for your first puppy:

How to domesticate your vet.

God, Simon would be so irked if he knew.

You've prepared for just about anything, have coached yourself to respond calmly and be aware of potential triggers.

He'd almost laughed the first time you asked him if he wanted to leave before the fireworks started, but it wasn't mean - you'd caught him by surprise.

As he eases into civilian life, he starts taking you up on it - he didn't realize how tense he was, suddenly on, not until he starts healing.

Some of that is time. Some you, some the therapy.

He stops wearing a mask when he goes out, a security blanket he doesn't need anymore, although it's less conspicious in post-pandemic times.

Neither of you realized the mask was an unintentional coping mechanism for other things, not just a way of hiding his face in a world where he wasn't supposed to exist.

There were no winners in the 141 marriage pool. Not when MacTavish is the first to ring someone up.

You've resolved to keep commentary to yourself on the subject - what you and Simon have is good, and Johnny's mum swayed the odds in his favor.

The grounds they rent out are massive - understandable, since it's a clan wedding, but you really hadn't expected to have a whole croft to yourself.

Johnny's doing, to give you both a quiet place to retreat to, away from the periceremonial chaos.

Simon waits patiently for you to oogle.

The thatched roof building is charming, rose bushes coralled into neat rows against the foundation. You can imagine hens picking on the lawn and laundry hanging from the line.

The door sticks, takes a solid shove to open, and you find that while the outside is postcard-perfect, someone has put a lot of effort into modernizing the internals. What was once one room has been sectioned off into a cozy one bed, one bath.

A queen sized bed fills most the living space, with a pair of matched floral arm chairs at the foot.

It smells a bit...off, but you chalk it up to the exposed cobble. Much like brick, it isn't always easy to seal properly - and Scotland is not known for its arid clime.

You don't see it, but that's when it starts.

Simon twitches. His skin itches and crawls in a way he's not used to.

He figures he's just antsy from the trip.

He unpacks while you shower, stalks the perimeter, feeling restless. It clears while he's outside, when you head over for happy hour, and he forgets anything was wrong.

When you come back, buzzed and content from your merry-making, it's easy for you to fall asleep. You knock out like a light, one foot hooked around Simon's.

You can tune it out, adjust to the smell, but Simon can't.

He can't block it out. Doesn't even know what it is.

He tosses and turns for what feels like eternity, breaking out in sweat even though the night is cool.

He tries to scroll on his phone, use the internet to distract him, but the service is shit and the light hurts his eyes.

The itch is back, and he needs to get out. He needs to get out now, but the door is stuck and suddenly he's buried again, wet earth clinging to his nose, choking him on every inhale and he's clawing at the door like an animal locked in a cage.

You aren't that light a sleeper, and he doesn't respond when you call out to him. Your only excuse for the automatic touch is you've been lulled to false security - you've hardly needed any of the tactics you'd read about, and it's late and you were tired.

It's too much. You're a threat.

You realize it a second too late, when Simon whips around and grabs you by the front of your sleepshirt - his shirt - and slams the first two knuckles of his left hand into your solar plexus.

You drop like a rock.

The immediate, excrutiating regret of your epiphany flees as you curl in on yourself, gasping for breath like a fish on dry land. Tears well up at the corner of your eyes, shock and pain and an utter lack of air keeping you from shedding them.

You hear more than you see the door finally spring open. Ghost is out and gone before you can pull yourself together.

Even when your breath comes easier, you stay on the floor so you can kick yourself while you're down.

Page number one. Bullet number one. You'd successfully broken the primary advice of every single page you'd saved on loving someone with PTSD. Too complacent.

You're an idiot.

He stopped being Ghost and started being Simon again somewhere around the three mile mark. It was more than he was used to running, especially barefoot and in his boxers, but the heath was soft and had spared his feet too much damage.

The pain had helped bring him to his senses.

It hurt more to think that he'd hurt you, something he'd sworn he'd never do, not after watching how his mother suffered.

It takes another two miles to come to terms with what had happened, this time at a slow walk. He's not sure if this is something he can fix, but either way he needs a plan.

Needs to figure things out, tonight. Set the mold for his future.

He has to tell you and risk maybe losing you, that you'll decide it's too much for you, or not tell you and definitely lose you.

But between you and the shrink, he's been brainwashed to believe he deserves a shot at happiness.

You're sitting on the step to the croft, head in hands, when he comes back around dawn.

He can tell you've been crying, and something in his heart breaks. He'd made his decision hours ago, but he wanted you to give you time. Space to leave, to run to the safety of the main house if that's what you needed.

You get up without a word and open the door for him. You give him a wide berth, careful to avoid physical contact, but once inside you stall out. Standing in the middle of the room, looking lost and small and wondering just how much of what you had is broken now.

The silence that spans the next few minutes is the most stressful silence of his entire life. He guides you to a chair, tucks in a blanket around you like he would have even if he hadn't tried to break your ribs with his fist three hours ago.

Makes two cups of tea, and then retreats to the other side of the small space and sinks to the floor, leaving room for the history that's about to fill it.

"I need to tell you a story."